Open Letter to all you Tech Support M******F******s A comedy conversation
by Big Irish Chickens 282,028 58 03/15/2010 05:00 AM 157 views
Yes, you. And I know most of you who aren't in India spend your day Gabbing in the background.
HOW DARE YOU waste ten minutes of my time confirming all the information you already have on me only afterwards to tell me there is nothing you can do. Why do you have to confirm every possible contact number and my blood type every time I call in anyway?
You bastage. You knew you couldn't help me with this particular problem in the first 20 seconds, but you just had to pull the "let me confirm a couple of things first" card and kill 10 minutes of my day.
What you need to do now is call the company's customer service to complain about their tech support. When they too ask you questions to confirm your identity, offer to send them a stool sample.
Shakespeare that's just 10 minutes closer to 5:00 pm for me. From my end, I took a call, kept it around the expected average call time, got to close the ticket right away (thereby bumping up my First Call Resolution %), AND didn't have to do any actual work.
What you need to do now is call the company's customer service to complain about their tech support. When they too ask you questions to confirm your identity, offer to send them a stool sample.
"I thought it was important to keep a log of what happened."
Could be worse. One could take down all your information, talk you through a very effective way of destroying or damaging the item you called about, tell you that you broke it and it is no longer under warranty, delete all records of the call and steal your identity. Then that person could withdraw all your cash and max out your cards on strippers, import beers, hookers, shovels, lye and a one way ticket to a South American country were they would retire on your dime.
Of course, I know no one who would actually plan it, let alone do it. Now, what is your full name and social again?
I sure hope you were talking about Cyco. I don't do tech support and I've lurked here long before you ever showed up (first posts I read where when Chance first posted and it took me 3 years before I made an account).
So, if you're going to tell me to suck at least use a proper pronoun like lurker, bastard or unfunny dumbass. Your choice, but I won't stand for tech.
Uh, I believe she was talking about Chickens. I've been playing with computers since my mom shoved a whole TRS-80 up her vajayjay (while the unborn Cyco was still in it) on one of her shoplifting sprees back in early 1980. In other words.
Uh, I believe she was talking about Chickens. I've been playing with computers since my mom shoved a whole TRS-80 up her vajayjay (while the unborn Cyco was still in it) on one of her shoplifting sprees back in early 1980. In other words.
cyco <> tech n00b
Damn. Ever misread what someone wrote because emphasis don't exist in written word like it does spoken? I read that as "n00b who is a tech" rather than "n00b to tech". Open mouth, insert foot. Yum, foot.
Every place I've worked I.T. at has had the rule that you can do accents, but you have to do it the entire call. I've never had the guts to try it out. Besides I'm having too much fun mocking the customers after every call to even think of it.
I don't do accents on purpose, but every time I take a call from someone from West Virgina or Tennessee or Alabama, etc, I start slipping into a "Good Ol' Boy" Southern-style draw. I can't stop myself - I'm often not aware that I'm doing it until after the call.
It seems to work out for me though. I've never had any complaints. Although, one of these days I know I'm going to end the call he "Y'all call back now, y'hear?"
Every place I've worked I.T. at has had the rule that you can do accents, but you have to do it the entire call. I've never had the guts to try it out. Besides I'm having too much fun mocking the customers after every call to even think of it.
Every time I call HR to bitch about something I use a different accent. I'll start acting less crazy when they stop Frost-ing up my paycheck.
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