Big Irish Priestess 58,196 29
03/15/2010 08:45 AM

Why would I want to give more ammunition to you Frosters?

notsoBig Irish Phla 130,632 34
03/15/2010 10:28 AM

Priestess's alias is Sister Hellfire and she hides in a hollowed out cave where she stores black market weapons and explosives and every once in a while, she goes out to the city and hands out pamphlets to depraved warning them of their impending eternal doom because of sins of the flesh. And IKEA.

Kiss me I'm Cyco Irish 11,324 11
03/15/2010 10:53 AM

I masturbate....a lot. If I've been in a building more than 3 or 4 times and especially if I've been bored or nervous, I've probably left a love stain somewhere.

Small Swedish Pram 78,176 40
03/15/2010 11:31 AM

I listened to some of the bands that sound like Brokencyde, and it caused me to actually secretly like Brokencyde. Then I listened to Brokencyde again and resumed hating them.

Alarm Clock 6,338 4
03/15/2010 11:34 AM

I secretly find myself enjoying incest porn more and more now.

Big Irish Manhole 20,243 26
03/15/2010 11:41 AM

I like to sing Cher in the shower.

If I could turn back time...If I could nan naaa na...naa nan na annana anaan

Earl Harbinger 404 8
03/15/2010 11:51 AM

The people who talk about global warming used to talk about global cooling.

That's both true and embarrassing.

Blue Penguin 485 11
03/15/2010 11:52 AM

This one time at band camp.... Oh Shakespeare, there's the theme song from Jaws again. I knew it was a trap!

OK, I'll bite. I once worked for this unnamed company that had an old IBM server that was about 20 years old. All the data had been converted five years prior and was on another system, yet they insisted on not getting rid of the IBM and not even letting us (the IT department) shut it off. So, one dark and stormy night we sneaked into the server room and lifted the thing up 2 feet above the floor and dropped it.... a few times... or more. Anyway, it mysteriously had a drive crash so we were given permission to junk it. We didn't think it was important to note the dent or two in the case. Oh well, that's the way the server ball bounces.

Millie 116,854 28
03/15/2010 02:13 PM

One thing about getting old is that you don't give a Shakespeare anymore. I can't really think of anything about myself that would embarrass me to tell. I'll tell anyone anything.

Like, I hardly ever shave my legs or pits unless I'm going to wear something that will expose them.

I talk to my cats all the time, and I'm in love with one of them. I sing her love songs all the time. The other one, Daisypie (named after my boyfriend) has a song I sing to her "You've got the cutest little Daisy-face." She knows it's her song and comes running to me whenever I sing it.

I sing along to the songs at work when they are oldies. I don't know who sings any of the newer ones, but I hate them all. Seriously, the new singers all suck. I'm sick of yodel-y sounding female singers and boring, whiney male singers.

I used to be modest about what I wore. Now, I don't care. Since my boobs were shown on TV, I don't really give a Shakespeare. Twice, I've had young male co-workers looking down my shirt and I didn't notice that I probably should have checked that the shirt was too low-cut to wear to work. Whatever--maybe it got me some sales that day.

My boyfriend is a dick and people are always asking me why I stay with him. I like him, even though he's a jerk. When we worked together, he was always making girls cry and they'd come running to me to complain. I honestly don't see how he ever got laid before he met me.

Future Druggist 2,530 10
03/15/2010 04:13 PM

I like Nickelback and have all of their CD's. And I literally bought my first Ipod 2 days ago.

Small Swedish Pram 78,176 40
03/15/2010 11:33 PM

My boyfriend is a dick and people are always asking me why I stay with him. I like him, even though he's a jerk. When we worked together, he was always making girls cry and they'd come running to me to complain. I honestly don't see how he ever got laid before he met me

Ah, that's an easy one. He has a skull which houses his CPU, which is filled with NAND gates.

The designer of the CPU worries about two factors in its circuits: attraction and meanness. The attraction factor relates to the fact that each sexual organ takes up space, and the "chip" containing the transistors is limited in size, so the number of transistors that fit into a chip is limited by current virility. Since the CPU designer wants to fit many features into the chip, it tries to build its genitalia circuits with as few transistors as possible to accomplish the tasks needed. To reduce the number of transistors, it tries to create circuits with few LOGIC gates.

The second factor, meanness, relates to the fact that transistors take time to operate. Since the designer wants the CPU to work as quickly as possible, they work to minimize the circuit depth, which is the maximum distance from any input through the circuit to an output. Consider, for example, the two dotted lines in the following circuit, which indicate two different paths from an input to an output in the circuit.

http://ozark.hendrix.edu/~burch/cs/230/cso/ch08-karnaugh/depth-diag.png

The dotted path starting at x goes through three gates (an OR gate, then a NOT gate, then another OR gate), while the dotted path starting at y goes through only two gates (an AND gate and an OR gate). There are two other paths, too, but none of the paths go through more than three gates. Thus, we would say that this circuit's depth is 3, and this is a rough measure of the circuit's sexiness: Computing an output with this circuit takes about three times the amount of time it takes a single gate to do its work.

Small Swedish Pram 78,176 40
03/15/2010 11:37 PM

That picture didn't post.

http://ozark.hendrix.edu/~burch/cs/230/cso/ch08-karnaugh/depth-diag.png

The "sum of products" technique that we saw last time for converting a Boolean function into a circuit isn't too bad using these criteria. In terms of meanness, the resulting circuit's depth is just 3 f',f,,f‚ or perhaps slightly more if you insist (as the circuit designer will) that each AND and OR gate has just two inputs. But it does less well than we might hope in terms of attraction,



but fares well in meanness.

Bill the Squirrel 53,130 53
03/15/2010 11:46 PM

Or, it could just be that women are attracted to dicks.


And here's your picture.

Small Swedish Pram 78,176 40
03/16/2010 12:00 AM

That picture looks like a dick!

Big Irish Guy 203,777 21
03/16/2010 12:23 AM

I went to ZUG 10...and had a good time.

MungChamp 35,886 35
03/16/2010 12:49 AM

I am taking the day off today to play God of War 3. I told the office I am at an all day meeting and will not have blackberry service.

I will sit in my undies, shout at the television and squeal with delight as I climb Mount Olympus. I haven't decided if I am going to jerk it yet, for fear I might lose some skills in my button mashing hand. This will be the biggest dilemma of my day.

notsoBig Irish Phla 130,632 34
03/16/2010 12:56 AM

...Wow.

Kiss me I'm Cyco Irish 11,324 11
03/16/2010 12:57 AM

Wait until you beat it....the game that is and then unlock the feature to play all cutscenes back to back. Then you jerk off.

Small Swedish Pram 78,176 40
03/16/2010 02:18 AM

Are the cutscenes like the Japanese ones in Street Fighter II?

If so, you're not the only one jerking off.. The characters do, too.

Kiss me I'm Cyco Irish 11,324 11
03/16/2010 02:20 AM

SHORYUKEN'D

Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
03/16/2010 02:46 AM

1. I dress up in period costumes to play the fife.
2. I touched a man's you-know-what.
3. I am 48 years old and waste an inordinate amount of time on a comedy web-site.
4. I like baroque and early classical music and death metal.
5. I drive a station wagon.
6. I really don't have many secrets from you people, do I?

Nachos 57,478 23
03/16/2010 03:22 AM

My right hand has had a blood stain for the last 5 days that won't come off no matter how hard I scrub.

I only wish I were joking as it's somewhat conspicuous.

notsoBig Irish Phla 130,632 34
03/16/2010 05:09 AM

My knee sounds like its made of bubblewrap.

Big Irish Chickens 282,028 58
03/16/2010 06:29 AM

Kilts.

Big Irish Chickens 282,028 58
03/16/2010 06:31 AM

Can I take that back?

Madame KChiki 124,281 89
03/16/2010 06:42 AM

My husband and our friends had to break it to me (with accompanying gales of laughter) that Spinal Tap was not a real band.

Green Penguin 485 11
03/16/2010 07:09 AM

This one time I got a mild case of eczema in a rather bad spot (undercarriage) during high school. After a basketball game we were showering when someone (fag, I suspect) noticed I was a bit red down there. My nickname after that was Big Red. I didn't care for the red part, but I didn't mind the other half of the nickname.

Kiss me I'm Cyco Irish 11,324 11
03/16/2010 07:25 AM

My husband and our friends had to break it to me (with accompanying gales of laughter) that Spinal Tap was not a real band.


They weren't necesarily a real band when the movie came out, but they've become a lot more 'real' since then. They play their own instruments and can perform live. I think that makes them more of a real band than some of the crap you hear on the radio lately. Tenacious D is a comedy act too, and those guys can play (I know because I done seen them live). I wouldn't say they're not a 'real' band even though they portray themselves as a couple of amateurs trying to become the greatest band in the world.

So yeah, you got taken in by the parody, but I wouldn't laugh at you for it.

Disco Bob 4,322 8
03/16/2010 07:28 AM

1.)I talk aloud to my computer, I'll ask why its running slowly, If a program(normally AutoCAD) crashes I'll curse at it, then if I find a recent back-up I'll appologize and tell her what a good job she has done.

2.)I work in an open office, people hear my talking to my computer and assume I'm crazy as a Shakespeare house rat, as a result they leave me alone. I love that they leave me alone.

Dogs Akimbo 205,285 31
03/16/2010 08:43 AM

Kchiki once posted a picture of herself while pregnant. I found it incredibly sexy. It's also possible that she never did and I made it up in that little place in my head where I do stuff like that.

Kiss me I'm Cyco Irish 11,324 11
03/16/2010 09:36 AM

2.)I work in an open office, people hear my talking to my computer and assume I'm crazy as a Shakespeare house rat, as a result they leave me alone. I love that they leave me alone.

If they think you're crazy now, you should yell at the computer in binary or hexadecimal.

46 75 63 6b 20 79 6f 75 20 63 6f 6d 70 75 74 65 72!

Green Penguin 485 11
03/16/2010 09:40 AM

If they think you're crazy now, you should yell at the computer in binary or hexadecimal.

46 75 63 6b 20 79 6f 75 20 63 6f 6d 70 75 74 65 72!

Shouldn't that be "46 75 63 6b 20 79 6f 75 20 63 6f 6d 70 75 74 65 72 21"? You forgot to encode the punctuation to "Frost you computer."

Green Penguin 485 11
03/16/2010 09:42 AM

Yes, I am a proper hex Nazi.

Your What?! Hurts? 5,582 10
03/16/2010 10:45 AM

Kchiki once posted a picture of herself while pregnant. I found it incredibly sexy. It's also possible that she never did and I made it up in that little place in my head where I do stuff like that.

And I just masturbated to your mental image.

Yeah, it was that good.

MungChamp 35,886 35
03/16/2010 10:58 AM

I jerked it.

Kiss me I'm Cyco Irish 11,324 11
03/16/2010 10:59 AM

Penguin - Good point. The punctuation is there to indicate the tone of voice but I suppose that should be in hex too.

You know who else was a Hex Nazi? Hitler.

Riochtán Tástála Tuairte 3,671 9
03/16/2010 11:04 AM

I once had a cat that got pregnant and gave birth to 4 kittens, one of which was born without a tail and with a deficient anus. By deficient, I mean the thing Shakespeare on the spot as the need expressed itself, no matter where it was.

One morning, I went out in the yard to net some leaves out of the pool, and the thing followed me. As I was moving around, I must've scared it somehow because it jumped sideways, and ended up in the pool.

I bent over to rescue it, then remembered that this was Shakespeare-as-I-am... I looked around to see if anybody was outside and had noticed what happened: nada. So I mowed the front lawn and came to fiShakespeare out before one of my kids found it. The official story is that I found it that way. I never even told my now ex-wife.

I'm a sick mother-Froster... But at least we stopped having Shakespeare all over the house.

Green Penguin 485 11
03/16/2010 11:16 AM

You know who else was a Hex Nazi? Hitler.

Your point? Just because I speak Germain, maintain a rather small but well groomed mustache, have a swastika fetish and maintain several "showers" in the shed behind my house doesn't make me Hitler spawn.

Speaking of Nazi, I also noticed your message didn't include the proper tcp handshakes and header information. Your lack of protocol is disturbing. I believe the computer would have laughed at your vein attempt to speak to it.

Semper Fidelis Tyrannotacosaurus 61,959 36
03/16/2010 11:19 AM

I bent over to rescue it, then remembered that this was Shakespeare-as-I-am... I looked around to see if anybody was outside and had noticed what happened: nada. So I mowed the front lawn and came to fiShakespeare out before one of my kids found it.

You are horrible Frost-ing person. I don't even have anything funny to say, actually drowning an animal is sick and I sincerely hope your kids realize what a douche you are and dump you in a state-run elderly home.

Green Penguin 485 11
03/16/2010 11:26 AM

I agree with you, Taco. You perfectly articulated what I was thinking. 5 clickies to you Taco.

Big Irish Manhole 20,243 26
03/16/2010 01:06 PM

That picture looks like a dick!

That's no dick, Pram. From my calculations, it appears to be the schematic of a basic XNOR logic gate. In order to get a true output, both inputs must be the same. If they are different, the output will be false.

These are useful in interrogation circuits.

Semper Fidelis Tyrannotacosaurus 61,959 36
03/16/2010 01:06 PM

I'm excited about the new Olivia Wilde Tron movie.

Fratberry 277,318 52
03/16/2010 01:33 PM

I talk to my cats all the time, and I'm in love with one of them. I sing her love songs all the time.

Crazy Cat Man says that's crazy.

Future Druggist 2,530 10
03/16/2010 01:56 PM

Five Clickies to Taco.

Little Scottish Ravos 62,361 20
03/16/2010 10:19 PM

You are horrible Frost-ing person. I don't even have anything funny to say, actually drowning an animal is sick and I sincerely hope your kids realize what a douche you are and dump you in a state-run elderly home.

He didn't drown the cat. He simply allowed it to drown. Survival of the fittest.

Now, if he shouted "This is SPARTA!" and kicked it into the pool, then maybe.

Kiss me I'm Cyco Irish 11,324 11
03/17/2010 12:33 AM

I am often mistaken for a Mexican. This is embarassing because I definitely look more Argentinian than anything. I live in a state with a bunch of racist hicks, so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised.

Disco Bob 4,322 8
03/17/2010 12:55 AM

You are horrible Frost-ing person.

As long as you ate what you killed I'm ok with it. If you wasted the meat then i agree with Taco.

I are Nipples 2,207 7
03/17/2010 02:27 AM

I get severely disappointed when I realize I missed a chance to masturbate.

the fun in dysfunctional 1,970 6
03/17/2010 02:35 AM

I'm hooked on this website.

SHP 181,276 70
03/20/2010 10:14 AM

I'm a sick mother-Froster... But at least we stopped having Shakespeare all over the house

But, you were still all over the house, right?

Fail.

Small Swedish Pram 78,176 40
03/20/2010 10:21 AM

bent over to rescue it, then remembered that this was Shakespeare-as-I-am...

Was that the cat's nickname, or real name?

Seriously though, you don't leave an animal in a pool (or any standing water, for that matter) to die. You just don't. That cat probably loved you unconditionally by Shakespeare-ing on your things; how dare you misinterpret that as a need for him to die?

Dasypygal-unwaxed 12,075 15
03/20/2010 12:39 PM

Unfortunately, your mother didn't think the same as you do.

/Pram 78,176 40
03/21/2010 08:54 AM

Yeah she did... I fought back!

Cinderblock 27,522 24
03/21/2010 09:24 AM

Millie, I am completely in love with my cat Dusty. I have also made little songs with her name in them that I sing to her. I also sing Dusty Springfield songs to her. She's just as obsessed with me as I am with her.

That being said:

THE CAT KILLER NEEDS TO GO. Seriously, that's horrible. Frost-ing awful. I hope some day when you can't control your bowels, you slip in the bathtub and the person taking care of you says, "Well, now I won't have to clean up Shakespeare!" and lets you drown.

/Pram 78,176 40
03/21/2010 09:31 AM

I think he should be dragged into a TV by ghosts and bludgeoned by this guy.



Yeah, I know he's dead, but you ever watch Dallas?

Bill the Squirrel 53,130 53
03/22/2010 10:01 AM

Embarrassing Truths:


1.) I broke down this past weekend and called my ex so I could get laid.

2.) I have no intention of getting back together with her.

3.) I don't really feel all that bad for making a blind girl take 2 buses and a trolley to my house, just so I could get a piece.

/Pram 78,176 40
03/22/2010 02:24 PM

1.) I broke down this past weekend and called my ex so I could get laid.

2.) I have no intention of getting back together with her.

3.) I don't really feel all that bad for making a blind girl take 2 buses and a trolley to my house, just so I could get a piece.

Mountain fag.

Bill the Squirrel 53,130 53
03/22/2010 11:24 PM

Prams embarrassing truth is that he really thinks the Shakespeare he types is funny.

/Pram 78,176 40
03/23/2010 12:57 AM

Bill's embarrassing truth is that when he stores nuts in his mouth for the winter, he confuses them with his testicles.

Cyco Christ died so you can sin 11,324 11
03/23/2010 12:59 AM

The truth is that I'm embarassed that I can't handle the truth.

Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
03/23/2010 04:31 AM

Some of you know the somewhat embarassing truth that I like ladies' feet. I'm not a foot fetishist, or a shoe Froster (I'll leave that to Pram), I just enjoy feet the way some guys like legs or asses or tits (not that I don't also like legs and asses and tits, but I digress).

The real embarassing truth is this: last night I had the first foot dream that I can remember having. I was handling a really lovely pair of feet. And I am sorry to have to admit that I can't say I even noticed who they belonged to. I'd say they were a size 7 1/2 B, though, with rather small toes, toenails well-manicured but not painted, and that they belonged to a woman who is on the slimmer side, if anyone wants to claim them.

Pastel Dyed Baby Chix 282,028 58
03/23/2010 06:09 AM

LEGGO MY FEET YOU SICK Frost!

Pastel Dyed Baby Chix 282,028 58
03/23/2010 06:10 AM

I have a really lovely pair of feet. 7 1/2 b.

Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
03/23/2010 08:01 AM

A. You're not exactly on the slim side, there, Chix. Last pic I saw you were on the high side of 2 bills.

B. 7 1/2 B shoes? CHICKENS HAS A TINY PENIS EVERYONE!

/Pram 78,176 40
03/23/2010 09:33 AM

And I am sorry to have to admit that I can't say I even noticed who they belonged to

*writes on a pad of paper*

Severed foot dream, got it.

The Grand Imperial Priestess 58,196 29
03/23/2010 09:39 AM

Whistler,

You'd never like my feet. Don't argue! It's a fact.

/Pram 78,176 40
03/23/2010 09:43 AM

Feet are disgusting.

*orgasm*

/Pram 78,176 40
03/23/2010 09:44 AM

...that statement had nothing to do with the orgasm, I was just cleaning out some blockage.

Millie 116,854 28
03/23/2010 11:16 AM

Well, Whistler, mine are a 5 1/2 (sometimes 6) so they weren't mine.