For the 70% of you with no Irish ancestry at all; drinking until you puke just because of the date it not a flattering homage to the people whose day you're paying tribute to.
For the 29.9999% of you that will adopt or strengthen any trace of an Irish accent you may have and call yourselves Irish for the day, the actual phrase you're looking for is 'Mutt'.
For the 0.0001% of you purebreeds out there, happy St Patrick's Day.
My mother's mother came from Ireland. So did my stepfather's grandmother, and most of the other ancestors we can account for. One time I asked them how come we didn't join the Irish-American club that so many of the other people from our church belonged to. It sounded to me like they had a lot of fun there.
My stepfather's answer was something like this: "I didn't go halfway around the world to get shot at by a bunch of crazy communists for Ireland, you idiot."
So despite being Gallaghers, McNeills, O'Connors and McNultys, we're not big on Saint Patrick's day in my house. But you can bet your ass everyone shows up in red, white and blue on July 4.
Does Canada have a Canada Day? They could probably move a couple cases of Labatts if they advertised better.
Yes. July 1st. And living in the capital of Canada, there is tons of stuff going on. Mostly people wandering around downtown drunk, and watching fireworks.
I fall into the Mutt catagory, but in the top half.
My wife asked me this morning "Isn't it called going Irish when you and your date split the bill".
I informed her that that is going "Dutch".
Going "Irish" is when you tell the woman that if she doesn't pay for it all, you're going to hit her in the face with a bottle. And then you do it anyway for having to remind her.
Also on a completely unrelated rant, I Frost-ing hate George Lucas for the fact that the 1977 movie Star Wars now has to be referred to as A New Hope or Star Wars Episode 4 to avoid confusion with the 42 other Star Wars spinoffs sequels and prequels. Life was much simpler when it was just Star Wars, Empire, and Jedi.
To paraphrase Michael Bolton from Office Space "The other spinoffs are the ones that suck, they should have to change their names"
I can't wait to get home and down the case of 250th anniversary Guiness I bought for SPD. I certainly could use one at work.
St. Patrick's Day doesn't exist here. In Scranton the real "Irish Holiday" is Parade Day.. which was about 4 days ago. Many people are still hungover though.
I'm wearing pink today. I'm Italian, Frost the Irish.
For the 0.0001% of you purebreeds out there, happy St Patrick's Day.
Thanks, dude. I'm going against my culture and heritage and not going out drinking tonight. It feels weird. I might pretend to have a hangover tomorrow so I don't lose the respect of my drunken peers.
This evening I'm going to make some Varenyky, sausage, kraut and pumpernickel bread. I don't have even a trace of Irish in me, but I do wear green so those Irish-wannabe-mother-Frosters don't pinch my ass. Most people around here are of German/Ukraine/Mexican/Vietnamese decent, not Irish.
Tomorrow, I will spend 10-12 hours smoking pork butt on the back patio (shut up, you know I'm talking about BBQ). I'm expecting a lot of entertaining posts from drunken or hungover livers to keep me from getting bored.
I'm doing my usual St. Patty's day thing, and wearing just enough green to keep the godforsaken holiday cheertwats' pinchy fingers off me, but not so much as to be annoyed by changing my usual wardrobe. This year, it's a green tee worn under my customary striped rugby.
On one of the rare occasions when some rah-rah 'We got spirit!' douche asks why I don't do more for the event, I patiently explain that holidays are a lot like marriage: the goal is to put out as little effort as possible, while doing just enough to avoid being physically assaulted.
The weird thing about Cinco de Mayo is that Americans will gather together, eat tortillas, drink Tecate and Cuervo, dance and generally have a great old time, but none of them would even think about inviting an actual Mexican to the party.
The weird thing about Cinco de Mayo is that Americans will gather together, eat tortillas, drink Tecate and Cuervo, dance and generally have a great old time, but none of them would even think about inviting an actual Mexican to the party.
Things must be different in Ohio. Here, us pasty people don't get invited to Cinco de Mayo. The town gets overrun by the Mexicans and no one speaks English. Of course, that's not too dissimilar to day-to-day life around here. Also, around here Cinco de Mayo involves swallowing the worm, eating beef tongue burritos and tamales that will burn your butt hair. Sense most are devout Catholics nothing too crazy happens unless the priest hooks up with the alter boys.
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