It's Patrick's Day and I'm Irish, but this year I'm actually trying the green stuff, instead of mocking it (Part 1). I went through everything at home (Part 2 and Part 3), but ruined a perfectly good descent into madness and liver failure by heading to local pubs to sample their greenery.
Einstein's: Mexican Leprechaun
I hate my old local bar for this awesome twofer. The Mexican Leprechaun doubles up on cliches by combining tequila with greenery! The Irish aren't actually known for drinking Creme de Menthe, as you can tell by the way we don't usually smell of Listerine, and this drink would be almost offensive if it wasn't also awesomely effective. Chill a shot glass, pour in the Creme, then carefully layer the tequila on top -- pour it over the back of a spoon, or use your thumb to block the bottle and pour down the side of the glass, depending on your hygiene.
Knock it back and you'll discover this isn't just a drink - it's a safe disposal strategy for plutonium waste. The CIA could connect your tongue to alternating current, because you still can't taste anything over cold Creme de Menthe. It's an icy cold shutdown switch for your tastebuds, chilling your throat and eliminating the microsecond's exposure to cheap tequila.
As Irish As: Getting hammered and not remembering the bad bits.
Jack Astor's: The Sour Apple Martini
When I asked for the greenest drink they had, friendly barman "Roy" whipped me up a Sour Apple martini with Sourpuss.
Sour Apple Sourpuss.
That stuff is following me.
It's normal to start seeing stuff like this after a gallon of green chemical, right?
At least here it was cut with vodka, so it wasn't as directly offensive, but that also means it isn't really a martini either (either use gin, or call it a nice vodka drink for amateurs).
As Irish As: James Bond. This stuff comes in a martini glass, it tastes of apples, and you're meant to sip it. Nothing could be less Irish if my country had sunk in the times of ancient Greece -- at least then, the residents of Irelandlantis would have drunk a lot.
George's Play: Leprechaun Lunch
Leprechaun's Lunch is a shooter converted for drinking by an ex-alcoholic bartender. That's not just spiritually Irish, that's cinematically Irish -- all he needs is red hair and a hurley stick and he'd be ready to defend his turf-burning pub from the English. While being played by Mel Gibson.
Start with an iced glass of Bailey's Irish Cream and milk, then pour Creme de Menthe down through the drink to create an emerald ripple before spreading out in a pleasant green shade. It's also extremely drinkable.
As Irish As: The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow -- great fun, and strongly associated with the place, but never actually found in Ireland.
But enough of my Paddy-prevarication. It's time to go for it. It's time to make green beer.
Please continue to Part 5: The Final Horror!
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