The Mailman 176,467 56
03/18/2010 02:17 AM

"As Al appeared in the door frame with a live squid under his arm, audible gasps could be heard in the room. 'Don't fret,' said Al, 'Nachos is right behind me and he's bringing the bacon. At least I think it's bacon.'"

Spicey McHaggis 117,791 37
03/18/2010 02:23 AM

Life is like a hurricane here in Zugburg.
Wheelchairs, lobsters, coding pain - it's a Zug blur!
You might stalk a southern chick, or post a dick pic

Zug Tales, Oo-oo-ooo

Little Irish Midgets 96,151 48
03/18/2010 02:28 AM

John was the next to arrive. He brought a great dish, but as usual he also brought along a few friends that no one else liked.

SHP 181,795 70
03/18/2010 02:31 AM

SHP showed up. Everyone knows she's a great cook, but what looked like turtle she was calling chicken. Nobody was surprised that even her food had identity issues.

McDasypygal-uncorked 14,811 17
03/18/2010 02:43 AM

Next to arrive was PeariaGrace carrying a big pot of maize on the cob. But she suddenly froze and fell asleep. Thankfully Dasypygal was right behind her and was able to catch her fall then gently rolled PG into a corner until the cataplexy wore off.
Of course Dasypygal brought a fine stew of crow. She eagerly scanned the room for Ravos because she secretly likes to be hand fed and loves it when Ravos shoves crow in her face.

McDasypygal-uncorked 14,811 17
03/18/2010 02:44 AM

PeOriaGrace...sorry

SHP 181,795 70
03/18/2010 02:46 AM

Millie brought cookies. Everyone tripped over Whistler's boner trying to get to them.

Little Irish Midgets 96,151 48
03/18/2010 02:46 AM

Pram arrived next. "Hey everbody, I'm here! And I brought my U-Haul!"

There was a slight pause as people began picking up sticks and baseball bats. "Hey, how'd you guys know I brought a pinata?"


Just then the doorbell rang.

Kiss me I'm Cyco Irish 11,330 11
03/18/2010 02:46 AM

Cyco showed up with a 5 gallon bucket of Margaritas. He then tried to liven up the festivities by renacting the "Star Wars Kid" youtube video. Unsurprisingly, no one laughed. He then went and cried in a corner.

The Mailman 176,467 56
03/18/2010 02:54 AM

"The food was piling up on the table, and Al was sampling a bit of everything. He complimented SHP on her dish and said that he had eaten chicken and turtle on numerous occasions before, but had never eaten panda. Upon hearing this, everybody in the room suddenly went silent. The innuendo in that last sentence had made the sexual tension in the room go up one notch, but Taco immediately brought it down again after she hit Mailman behind the head and said, 'read my posting rules again, you dumbass!'"

Kiss me I'm Cyco Irish 11,330 11
03/18/2010 02:57 AM

....and then everyone Frosted. The End.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
03/18/2010 03:04 AM

I got a boner!!??? Awesome!

I made a story!!??? Awesome!

helloooo nurse 379 8
03/18/2010 03:05 AM

"and then the doorbell rang"

It was Brad Poynter, with two kegs of explosives, one under each arm....He said something about fruitcake, and headed for the buffet table........

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
03/18/2010 03:07 AM

Everyone stood around awkwardly while I got drunk and laughed about how short everyone is. Then the the tallest albino came it, but it just turned out to be the Mailman. He was too busy talking to Filly in French to notice anyone else. Taco got raped while Pram sat in the corner watching and crying.

Cyco Christ died so you can sin 11,330 11
03/18/2010 03:28 AM

"Taco got raped?" Cyco said. What, did Lobster's stepdad get confused as to who's who? Who invited him anyways? Cyco looked at the guest list and sure enough, he was Lobster's plus one.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
03/18/2010 03:30 AM

I'm kidding. You can't rape Taco, she'll always push back.

RavosComedyGod 63,472 21
03/18/2010 03:32 AM

Ravos stumbled in, with a large box under his arm. "Hey guys, warts up!" he said as he walked to the table. "I brought a little something for the potluck. I guess it's a little late for Taco from the sounds I heard from the driveway, but it'll have to do." and with that, he placed the box of flavoured comdoms on the table.

Little Irish Midgets 96,151 48
03/18/2010 03:39 AM

Whistler's here, but nobody wrote about him showing up.
Am I to assume this affair is going down at his house?

If you need me I'll be going through his wifes underwear drawer going through his fife drawer going through his wifes underwear drawer.

McDasypygal-uncorked 14,811 17
03/18/2010 03:48 AM

Exactly what flavour of comdoms did you bring?

RavosComedyGod 63,472 21
03/18/2010 03:54 AM

Why, Daisypy, they are rawberry flavoured. I got them on clearance though, which is why there is the typo on the box. You know, shoddy chinese products.

Madame KChiki 128,446 98
03/18/2010 03:56 AM

Now I have the Ducktales theme song running through my head.

"Zugtales! Woo-hoo!"

Little Irish Midgets 96,151 48 cracks his whip
03/18/2010 03:59 AM

C'mon folks. There's a bowl of Ritalin on the dessert table. Let's get this back on track before Taco gets angry.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
03/18/2010 04:09 AM

Frost Taco. No really, Frost Taco.

Cyco Christ died so you can sin 11,330 11
03/18/2010 04:10 AM

Cyco ate half the bowl of Ritalin. His focus sharpened to the point where he could see the individual wood fibers in the table and beyond to the molecules of the wood and farther to the individual atoms. He peered beyond and could see the protons, electrons and deeper into the mesons and quarks all seperated by what seemed like light years of emptiness.

"This is it", Cyco remarked in his head. "This is all life and everything, it's all nothingness. Everything we see and touch is nothing." He pondered the mysteries of the universe and of life itself. He then looked up, sure he had discovered the answer to everything and said, "Did you say something Midgets? I wasn't paying attention."

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
03/18/2010 04:10 AM

I need to work that phrase into my daily life. "I want to punch you in your Frost taco".

Shell O'Belle 77,143 25
03/18/2010 04:35 AM

rawberry flavoured

No, I think they were Fratberry flavored.

RavosComedyGod 63,472 21
03/18/2010 04:41 AM

Must be another typo.

MungChamp 35,891 35
03/18/2010 04:51 AM

Mung rips off his cloak of invisibility and shouts

"Kansas lost and your brackets are Frosted!"

Puts back on the cloak and heads to the bathroom to continue filming.

Hydrant-monkey 9,888 23
03/18/2010 04:54 AM

I was expecting this thread to have more talking religious vegetables.

notsoBig Irish Phla 131,068 34
03/18/2010 05:07 AM

Phla brought.
A pound of milk.
A stick of bread.
A quart of butter.
And one more sentence.

Big Irish Chickens 286,642 61
03/18/2010 05:46 AM

Suddenly Trixie came in all old school and stuff wearing a little black dress, carrying only half a bottle of jack Daniels, and muttered, "I'm gonna top me one Big Irish Guy, wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
03/18/2010 05:49 AM

And Trixxie couldn't find BIG because he was hiding in the bedroom with Pistolet and Erika and Chickens' daughter.

Semper Fidelis Tyrannotacosaurus 61,976 36
03/18/2010 06:46 AM

Frost Taco. No really, Frost Taco.

"Yeah yeah, get in line."

Big Irish Chickens 286,642 61
03/18/2010 07:02 AM

And Trixxie couldn't find BIG because he was hiding in the bedroom with Pistolet and Erika and Chickens' daughter DeClan McManus.


Good thing I retained my editor powers.

Cyco Christ died so you can sin 11,330 11
03/18/2010 07:12 AM

Cyco got in line, the line was pretty long. He asked Ravos, "Is this the line for Frost-ing Taco."

He replied, "I think so"

As the line crept slowly forward, a peculiar smell started to fill the smell. It was mildly fishy with undertones of an old garbage can. The smell got stronger the closer the line reached the door. Cyco started to have an uneasy feeling that it might be a prank but didn't want to leave the line and be seen as a queerbag.

He got to the front of the line and stood there for a few minutes wondering if he was doing the right thing. He decided to try and listen to see if there was actaully any sexual acts going on in the room. As he lean against the door, it opened and Cyco fell in....right into the waiting arms of Trae.

Shell O'Belle 77,143 25
03/18/2010 07:17 AM

Then he realized that it wasn't her arms that he had fallen into, but was her vacuous vagina.

"Hellloooooooo? Can someone help me?" he yelled.

He was answered only by his own voice, echoing through the large cavern.

Cyco Christ died so you can sin 11,330 11
03/18/2010 07:17 AM

Cyco burst out of the room for a brief second to say, "The first line of the 3rd paragraph should say 'smell filled the air'! I hope this book has a good editor. Tell my mom I Frost-ing hate her!" An arm then reached out and grabbed Cyco by the collar and pulled him back in.

Shell O'Belle 77,143 25
03/18/2010 10:44 PM

Cyco had just about given up all hope of rescue, when suddenly he saw bright lights to the north. As they got closer, he saw that it was a group of men wearing miner hats.

"Can you help me get out of here?" he asked.

The tallest man replied, "I don't think so. We've been trapped here since 1989."

But Cyco was not going to give up. He was determined to get out of this hell-hole and get back to his career as a sumo wrestler.

Big Irish Straw 98,023 37
03/18/2010 11:11 PM

While Manhole went on a beer run, Straw pulled a homemade apple pie out of the oven. In the crust were carved the words, "No dicks allowed." Straw carried the pie over to the entrance of Trae's vagina, and turned on a small fan so that the aroma would waft down the shaft and guide Cyco home.

Little Irish Midgets 96,151 48
03/18/2010 11:29 PM

Midgets wandered by and hollered down asking Cyco to grab his keys on the way out.

"They're the ones on the blue ring ring ring."

"There are three sets of those down here here here."

"Mine are the ones in the ignition of the red truck truck truck."

Big Irish Chickens 286,642 61
03/18/2010 11:32 PM

Suddenly....

Cyco Christ died so you can sin 11,330 11
03/19/2010 12:15 AM

"Mmmmm, I smell pie," said Cyco. He started to follow the smell out of the dank hellish hole he found himself in. He struggled for what seemed like hours. The light gradually became brighter and brighter until he could see a ray of light at the end of the vagina. He was about to make a mad dash for the exit when he smelled another aroma which overpowered the apple pie smell.

"Is that....ham?" Cyco said. He looked to his right and there it was, hanging from the ceiling, the most succulent glazed ham he had ever seen in his life. Cyco started to get very aroungry and practically floated towards the ham.

He was about to reach for it when Admiral Ackbar popped his head into the cavern and screamed "IT'S A TRAP!" Cyco shook himself from his trance and saw he was only inches from Trae's clitoris. Cyco screamed from the sheer terror of it and made a mad dash toward freedom. The beef flaps started to slowly close and he made a jump for it....and got stuck.

"Pull me the Frost out of here!" Cyco screamed to everyone in the room. He was grabbed by several people and yanked rudely out of the smelly pit. He stood up and surveyed the room and said "You do NOT want to go in there! I'm going to go take a shower and drink myself into a coma. Midgets, here are your keys."

Big Irish Chickens 286,642 61
03/19/2010 02:02 AM

BEEF-CURTAIN-SNAPPED!

Dasypygal-unwaxed 14,811 17 Reminisces
04/12/2010 11:22 PM

So what the hell happened to dessert?

Is Straw's apple pie still good...or did it get tainted?

Dasypygal-unwaxed 14,811 17
04/12/2010 11:23 PM

P.S. I think B.P. may need some soup or a smoothy or something...

CyberJar88 917 8
04/13/2010 07:57 AM

Where the Frost was I when this happened?

Filly - waxed 39,193 20
04/13/2010 07:59 AM

Who the Frost are you?

Dogs Akimbo 211,626 32
04/13/2010 11:47 AM

He's CyberJar87's daughter.