Big Irish Straw 95,470 36
03/19/2010 10:25 AM

I hate to break it to you, but dogs puke too. Except that instead of hairballs, they puke up half eaten birds.

Small Swedish Pram 78,171 40
03/19/2010 10:27 AM

Sonofabitch.

Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
03/19/2010 10:53 AM

My brother is going to want to marry you now.

Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
03/19/2010 10:55 AM

Dogs may puke, but he hasn't missed the toilet since the unfortunate Octoberfest incident of 1993.

Thank You, Zolton Bunny! 87,649 31
03/19/2010 11:06 AM

My brother is going to want to marry you now.

Whistler, I'm not sure 'With this ring, I thee finger your pancreas' counts as 'marrying', exactly.

Not according to my wife, anyway.

Millie 116,854 28
03/19/2010 11:52 AM

Make that cartoon guy balder and remove the medallion, and it looks just like my boyfriend!

Pram, cats puke all they time. And they usually premeditate where they're going to puke to irritate you the most. Mine try to do it where they know I'll step in it first thing in the morning, or in my shoes, or on my clothes and bra, like the cat pictured below likes to do.



Well, she isn't my cat, thank God. She's my boyfriend's cat. She is obsessed with him and hates me.

My own cats are generally cute and sweet, so I don't mind a little puke. Certain foods make them puke more--anything named Meow Mix--dry or wet.

And speaking of puking up half-eaten animals, my cat Charlie once puked up four or five half-digested mice. I started cleaning them up, but had to run and puke myself. My sister tried to take over, and also ended up puking. By then I was back and was able to finish the clean-up. Good times.

Lucky Charms 171,220 14
03/19/2010 11:05 PM

It doesnt seem to matter what food I get, 2 of my cats (the fat ones) puke a few times a week. The slimmer cats I havent caught puking at all. I think since I got Zeus my other cats have developed eating disorders so I find them as cute as him.

Big Irish Straw 95,470 36
03/19/2010 11:57 PM

I think both cats and dogs have a penchant for puking in places that are hard to clean up. Their favorite is the carpeted area right next to the kitchen. Nothing like watching an animal horking mere inches away from the linoleum.


Dog puke pros: admittedly it is kinda funny when they start horking. Plus they give you a pathetic look afterwards to make you think they regret it.

Cat puke pros: most of the time it is more bulky than liquidy, so you wait for it to dry and can practically pick it up in one go.

Big Irish Chickens 282,028 58
03/20/2010 12:07 AM

GOOD BOY

Small Swedish Pram 78,171 40
03/20/2010 12:13 AM

And speaking of puking up half-eaten animals, my cat Charlie once puked up four or five half-digested mice. I started cleaning them up, but had to run and puke myself. My sister tried to take over, and also ended up puking. By then I was back and was able to finish the clean-up. Good times.

This will sound disgusting, Millie, but one time my grandparents' cat had diarrhea. It went right under the bed and made that wet air escaping a balloon sound. Rivulets of brown sticky... Anyway, my grandma on my mother's side reached under the bed to clean it up, failed, and vomited all over it. Then my mom said "oh Shakespeare", and vomited on her mom's vomit. Then the cat came back and vomited on the vomit-caked diarrhea-caked vomit. (I think everyone took a break and allowed it some time to congeal). What finally happened was they dried the whole mess out with a hair dryer and scraped it up in one piece like some sort of perverse pizza and threw it in the garbage.

I still feel sick when my mom tells the story when I'm visiting.

TopHatSnake 3,138 10
03/20/2010 01:09 AM

I'm so Frost-ing happy I clicked this thread. I don't know how I would have started my day without umpteen stories about cat vomit.

notice the lack of exclamation marks.

Madness 4,360 10
03/20/2010 03:39 AM

Just FYI, unless your cat is sick or allergic to the food, it's probably puking BECAUSE your cat boxes reek.

See, cats are like women, in that for some reason they won't Shakespeare in a place that already smells bad (as if their business won't bring about the same end.) But unlike women, cats will hold it in until their whole digestive system backs the Frost up.

If you clean out your cat box I can almost guarantee your cat will push out a mean coiler so huge you'll want to double check your garden hose just to be sure.

Also, no more barfing.

Lucky Charms 171,220 14
03/20/2010 04:55 AM

My catbox is scooped 3x's a day. I have 4 cats. If I didnt do it that way my house would smell. I guarantee my cats are not puking from rancid cat box syndrome. Besides, only 2 of my cats (the older, fat ones) puke regularly. So nyah!

Dogs Akimbo 205,285 31
03/20/2010 05:39 AM

Dogs may puke, but he hasn't missed the toilet since the unfortunate Octoberfest incident of 1993

I haven't puked in about thirty years. I can drink ungodly amounts of alcohol and not puke. Just like all of the other stuff in my life that might seem bad, I hold it all in and let it fester. When I turn 70, I'm going to kill everyone in the world.

Future Druggist 2,530 10
03/20/2010 10:27 AM

My cat pukes at least a minimum of once a week. On my shoes, in my shoes, on the bed, yeah ok I clean it off and move on with my life. Damn cat puked on my BRAND NEW purse one night, got pissed and really didn't do anything beyond that. My other cat had babies in the bottom drawer of my dresser on top of all my sweaters. How can you get pissed at the cat when you're looking at five kittens surrounding her.

Small Swedish Pram 78,171 40
03/20/2010 11:33 AM

Just like all of the other stuff in my life that might seem bad, I hold it all in and let it fester.

That's actually really healthy, to hold things in. If you always let everything out all the time, no one would have anything to look forward to.

Small Swedish Pram 78,171 40
03/20/2010 11:34 AM

How can you get pissed at the cat when you're looking at five kittens surrounding her.

Ask the guy who drowned a kitten in a pool.

/Pram 78,171 40
03/20/2010 12:39 PM

On PURPOSE.

Dasypygal-unwaxed 12,075 15
03/20/2010 12:51 PM

Chickens you get my 5 "starstamp" rating of approval!

/Pram 78,171 40
03/20/2010 01:15 PM

GROSS!

Dasypygal-unwaxed 12,075 15
03/20/2010 01:28 PM

Millie!
Your cat looks just like my cat!



Except yours is alive and giving you the stink eye...mine is just giving me the stink.

Filly - waxed 39,160 20
03/20/2010 01:32 PM

No, I totally agree, Pram. Taco says dogs are better so cats automatically suck. Totally sound logic.

Blue Penguin 485 11
03/20/2010 11:51 PM

I agree cats are Emersons. Our cat doesn't puke very much, but likes to Shakespeare all over the place if we leave him home alone for more than 24 hours. He spreads it around the house to make sure we know how he feels about being left alone. He also bits my ears and claws my eyes at night if his food gets low (not empty, mind you, just a little low). He's a bastard. He came with my wife and that's the only reason I would have had a cat.

Blue Penguin 485 11
03/20/2010 11:58 PM

This one time when we were gone for an afternoon our dog jumped onto our counter in the kitchen and grabbed a large, unopened bag of black licorice. He consumed the whole damn bag and developed a series case of diarrhea. In the house. All over the house. We came home and were overwhelmed by the smell of damp, putrid black licorice. It was the most horrible sight to behold. The dog was hiding under the bed and wouldn't come out for hours. I voted that we move out, but the wife insisted we clean it. At least the smell was mostly covered up with the licorice smell.

/Pram 78,171 40
03/21/2010 12:02 AM

Filly- Well, ya can't please everyone.


Except yours is alive and giving you the stink eye...mine is just giving me the stink.

Your cat looks like you "five starstamped" it.

Millie 116,854 28
03/21/2010 04:39 AM

Anytime someone has a story about what a jerk an animal is, I automatically take the animal's side. Why? Because they are animals, idiot! While I don't think they are as dumb as some people think, I also don't think they actually plan out ways to make our lives miserable.

I do think they puke and poop and pee on stuff to get our attention, but they are trying to tell us something. On the other hand, when humans do that kind of stuff, they are just being Frostheads (or they're mentally ill). My ex-husband used to manage a Goodwill store. He had to clean poop out of the dressing rooms a few times, and many, many times he had to clean urine off the front door. Apparently, homeless guys who try to steal things didn't like it when he kicked them out of the store. However, unlike animals, they could have said it to his face.

No matter how much of an Emerson an animal may be, they could never be as bad as most humans.

Dogs Akimbo 205,285 31
03/21/2010 05:05 AM

I agree with Millie. There is not a single animal in the world that owes me money.

Big Irish Self Nipple Licker 22,212 16
03/21/2010 06:11 AM

Make that cartoon guy balder and remove the medallion, and it looks just like my boyfriend!



I dont know whats worse.


You not knowing who Carl from ATHF is, or that your boyfriend looks just like him.


Scraping the bottom of the barrel takes points away from your MILFieness, Millie.

Fratberry 277,318 52
03/21/2010 06:59 AM

No, that's just the way all men look in Maine.

Millie 116,854 28
03/21/2010 01:52 PM

What is ATHF?

There are probably a lot of references I could make that would go way over your stupid, ignorant head. And they would be about smart stuff like history and literature--but that kind of thing is not welcome here anymore.

And I am not a MILF, Emerson. I have no children--thanks for reminding me of it.

Fratberry 277,318 52
03/21/2010 02:00 PM

Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Fratberry 277,318 52
03/21/2010 02:01 PM

We had to have one of our cats put down today. We brought Don Rickles over and he insulted her for the better part of the afternoon.

Big Irish Self Nipple Licker 22,212 16
03/21/2010 07:18 PM

There are probably a lot of references I could make that would go way over your stupid, ignorant head. And they would be about smart stuff like history and literature--but that kind of thing is not welcome here anymore.

And I am not a MILF, Emerson. I have no children--thanks for reminding me of it.



Oh yeah, now put a cigarette out on my nipple and step on my cubes.

Shempy been bad.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cinderblock 27,522 24
03/21/2010 10:28 PM

Cats all secretly have body image issues. That's why they're always puking.

I'm with Millie on this one. I guarantee you that, as long as there are no physical ailments causing a cat's incontinence, their behavior can be remedied by giving them that they are trying to tell you they need. Like Chance, I scoop the cat box vigilantly (only once per day, but I only have one cat). My kitty always has food, water, love, and a clean litter box, so she never displays undesirable kitty-cat behavior. The one time I let her food dish go empty, though (for about five minutes), she ate a piece of scotch tape and puked it up. I caught her eating the tape and tried to get it from her but she swallowed it before I could get to her like a stoner who's being chased by the police swallows a joint.

She has me trained very well.

RavosComedyGod 62,361 20
03/21/2010 10:32 PM

Realize there is cat vomit all over my new shoes.

Pram has officially named his dick "cat".

UnderEgg 99,723 76
03/21/2010 11:25 PM

Our cat Stuart has a secret identity that isn't so secret - when he sleeps, he thinks he is Superman.



However, this cat has some sort of disability in that whatever gene makes cats land on their feet when they fall, or able to jump gracefully from one point to the next, well, this cat does not have it. He trips and falls when he is running sometimes. The vet told me it's just part of his disguise as Clark Kent and not to worry.

I'm not so sure that Clark Kent ever left headless mice on the doorstep once a week, but hey, maybe I missed that scene.