And now the link:
http://www.foxnews.com/world/2010/03/24/terrorists-use-explosives-breast-implants-crash-planes-experts-warn/

Running with Scissors 3,510 12
03/24/2010 12:07 AM

I didn't think Muslim women were allowed to have boobs. Doesn't that violate some Taliban rule?

Madame KChiki 128,446 98
03/24/2010 12:17 AM

I think I'm going to be sick.

Sully 605 9
03/24/2010 12:18 AM

I've got to sign up with Airport Security. Body searches just got a whole lot more interresting. "No, ma'am, fondling them is the only way to be sure..."

Analog 9,608 19
03/24/2010 12:41 AM

I like boob guns better

the fun in dysfunctional 1,970 6
03/24/2010 12:46 AM

A couple of things...

who decided to call the explosive PETN 'cause that's kind of funny and

34B = no action at the airport either. Shakespeare.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
03/24/2010 12:55 AM

Another reason (preposterous though it may be) to add to my "why I'm against breast implants" list.

Waste Disposal Unit 747 8
03/24/2010 12:58 AM

If this is true, I hope they catch someone that's been fitted with those and make a big media event about how they safely detonated the device in a secure location.

MyComedyGoldTurnedGreen Jeen 47,815 51
03/24/2010 01:07 AM

MI5 has also discovered that extremists are inserting the explosives into the buttocks of some male suicide bombers.

Tits and ass are ruining this country!

The Mailman 176,467 56
03/24/2010 02:07 AM

Al Qaeda doesn't even need to plot anything more, they just have to come up with far-fetched terror scenarios and let the American media do the rest. I imagine terrorists laughing together in a cave:

Terrorist #1: "We covered shoes, underwear and bottled water. What should we make Americans panic about now?"
Terrorist #2: "What about breast implants?"
Everybody (laughing): "Brilliant!"
Chief terrorist: "Breast implants it is. Let's scribble it in Arabic on a piece of paper so it looks like we're serious. Abdul, get FOX News on the line."

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
03/24/2010 02:15 AM

I don't know Mailman. They took out the Twin Towers because it stood for out capitalist economy and our love of money. I can see a few terrorists sitting around after their camel orgy thinking what else does America love...BOOBS.

Either that or one of them visited GAB and saw every woman asked to SUYT.

/Pram 80,728 42
03/24/2010 02:17 AM

Tits and ass are ruining this country!

Fuh, I've been saying that since 1999.

/Pram 80,728 42
03/24/2010 02:18 AM

Shakespeare ON YOU, ITALICS!

Thank You, Zolton Bunny! 88,214 34
03/24/2010 02:19 AM

MI5 has also discovered that extremists are inserting the explosives into the buttocks of some male bombers.

I thought that was exactly the sort of thing the extremists were fighting to get Western pigdog heathens to stop doing.

Terrorists are weird. And apparently, some of them are going to be walking funny, too.

Waste Disposal Unit 747 8 may have been too subtle the first time around
03/24/2010 02:24 AM

If this is true, I hope they catch someone that's been fitted with those and make a big media event about how they safely detonated the device terrorist in a secure location

The Mailman 176,467 56
03/24/2010 02:38 AM

I can see a few terrorists sitting around after their camel orgy thinking what else does America love... BOOBS.

BIG, there are a lot of things that Americans love, and now all that terrorists need to cause terror is to simply mention them as a means to blow things up, even if there is no practical way to do so.

An example, how to get Homeland Security to ban Jameson Irish Whiskey from airplanes:
(sorry in advance for the Jenni-Maier-formatting)

Big bottles of liquid are already banned from airplanes, unless they were purchased at the duty free shop, right?

1.) Go to the duty free shop and buy a bottle Jameson Irish Whiskey. The shop seals it in a transparent bag so you can bring it on the plane with you.
2.) Drink the whiskey (just imagine it's time for breakfast)
3.) Fill the now empty bottle with a toxic liquid that should not be brought on the plane. Bleach will do just fine. Dye the liquid if you have to, but with the bottle being green, the difference in colour won't be obvious. Put the cap back on the bottle.
4.) Return to the duty free and walk up to the cash register to "buy" your bottle of "Jameson" again. The shop seals it in a transparent bag so you can bring it on the plane with you.
5.) Once on the plane, open the bottle and scream, "Bwa hahahaha, I am a terrorist and I smuggled some toxic liquid on this plane using this bottle of Jameson!"
6.) From your cell in Guantanamo Bay, watch Homeland Security put a permanent ban on all tinted glass bottles, particularly Jameson Irish Whiskey, even those that come from the duty free shop.

Shelle 77,143 25
03/24/2010 02:42 AM

Motorboating just got a whole lot more dangerous.


The phrase "Man, she's got a smokin' hot rack" can now be taken literally.


You thought having to take off your shoes at airport security was a pain in the ass?




*I'll be here all week. Remember to tip your waitress generously.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
03/24/2010 03:36 AM

Why do you hate me Mailman? Why?

The Mailman 176,467 56
03/24/2010 04:05 AM

I don't hate you, BIG. On the contrary, this might actually be beneficial for you. Just think, if they ban Jameson from airports completely, they will have to hire *someone* to remove all those bottles from the duty free shops, preferably someone who has experience in handling large quantities of whiskey bottles.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
03/24/2010 04:12 AM

Plus, with airports no longer carrying bottles of Jamesons there will be a surplus locally. You are a genius Mailman.

RavosComedyGod 63,472 21
03/24/2010 10:46 PM

Terrorist #1: "We covered shoes, underwear and bottled water. What should we make Americans panic about now?"

Oh. My. God. Pram is a terrorist.

RavosComedyGod 63,472 21
03/24/2010 10:47 PM

An example, how to get Homeland Security to ban Jameson Irish Whiskey from airplanes

And Mailman was never heard from again.

Brad Poynter 36,184 48
03/24/2010 11:01 PM

TOO SOON'D

Fratberry 283,051 53
03/24/2010 11:06 PM

Tit Frost-ing just got a whole lot more exciting.

WOCKA WOCKA WOCKA BANG!!

Madame KChiki 128,446 98
03/25/2010 05:11 AM

You know what's interesting? My husband's band is (for realz) playing a gig at Guantanamo Bay this year.

MY HUSBAND IS BEING ESCORTED BY THE MILITARY TO GUANTANAMO BAY LATER THIS YEAR.

You think you know someone...

Alt+Ctrl+Ravos 63,472 21
03/25/2010 05:13 AM

Next thing you know, his boobs are gunna explode and all his brethren will be free!

Madame KChiki 128,446 98
03/25/2010 05:34 AM

Just as long as my boobs don't explWHAT AM I THINKING?? My tits aren't big enough to contain implants!

Alt+Ctrl+Ravos 63,472 21
03/25/2010 05:38 AM

We can fix that you know. With implants.

dinesh 24,862 16
03/25/2010 09:07 AM

the last two posts are like a snake eating its tail.

or a boob smooshing into...another boob.

Madness 4,366 10
03/26/2010 01:49 AM

MI5 has also discovered that extremists are inserting the explosives into the buttocks of some male bombers.

PETN is pretty shock sensitive.
If some guy gets knocked over and falls on his ass, it's plausible that would be enough to make it detonate.

The lesson we should all take away from this:
Don't push Arabs.