The Twitter Bird Prank A comedy article
by John Hargrave 128,123 71 03/24/2010 04:49 PM 43367 views
When we heard that Twitter CEO Evan Williams would be the keynote speaker at the South by Southwest interactive conference, we knew we had to pull a prank. Ten thousand Twitter-hungry fanatics would be attending, and anything we did would be tweeted as fast as their calloused thumbs could type.
The Twitter bird seemed like the most likely candidate for a prank. Twitter has never put someone in a bird costume to promote their company, but we thought they should.
Real bird.
Fake bird.
We dressed up our resident comedy genius Moses Blumentstiel in the outfit, which bore an eerie resemblance to the Twitter mascot. All he needed was to lug an enormous whale out of the ocean, and the picture would have been complete.
The failing whale
As we approached the convention hall, Fake Twitter Bird was mobbed with fans seeking pictures and autographs. The bird was a celebrity, with people shoving each other to get photographed next to the avian impostor.
It was insane, and we rapidly lost sight of Moses, with the throng of people trying to touch the hem of his blue feathered garment. For that moment, he was more popular than Jesus, and the Beatles.
Twitter fanatics are funny birds.
The doors to the convention center closed, and the MC asked everyone to take their seats. Fake Twitter Bird began making his way to the front of the massive convention hall, but his suit had no ventilation. With hundreds of sweaty Twitter users pressing against him, the poor bird was suffering from heat exhaustion.
It can't have smelled good inside that costume.
Staggering and retching, the fake fowl reached his seat, where he continued to be mobbed by fans. People kept flashing cameras and asking for pictures, even when the creature clearly needed a juice box.
"The bird was hospitalized for exhaustion"
Dehydrated and woozy, Fake Twitter Bird began insulting those around him, slurring his words. "Get that zhing outta mah fashe! Donna make me call in zhe whale!" Please don't ask me why he became Italian. "Getta me some worms! I WANNA WORMS!"
Fake Twitter Bird's handler rushed to his side. "This is inappropriate," I said. "You're representing a major corporate sponsor. You need to stop."
"Leggo my arm!" yelled Moses through his enormous helmet. "Leggo and gimme a bowla worms!"
"Okay, let's go, pal," I said, lifting him from his seat, as he fought me. Eventually, he relented, and I escorted him to the back of the convention hall. Laughing, people rushed to their 140-character CB radios to tweet the news: the Twitter Bird was getting kicked out of the Twitter conference.
PLEASE RT: TWITTER BIRD IS GETTING KICKED OUT OF TWITTER CONFERENCE
We got to the back of the auditorium, when suddenly the feathered fraud made a run for it. He broke free, clomping down the aisle with his enormous webbed feet, like a genetically deformed sprinter. The crowd began to murmur as Fake Twitter Bird began madly weaving through the seats.
I chased him to the far end of the auditorium. A wave of tittering and Twittering followed us, as we ran through the capacity crowd. Eventually, I tackled him out the side door, and everyone looked at each other, like, "What the hell was that?!"
"To catch a mockingbird"
A minute later, the house lights dimmed for the Twitter CEO to take the stage. The auditorium grew deathly silent, twenty thousand thumbs getting ready to mash their tiny keyboards.
"YAAAAAAHHHHHH!" came a yell from the far corner of the auditorium. "STOP THAT BIRD!"
Moses came running through the auditorium once more in his ridiculous oversized bird costume, with me chasing behind -- but this time wielding an enormous net. "STOP HIM!" I yelled, breaking the silence. "DO NOT LET THE TWITTER BIRD GET AWAY!"
"Good luck explaining this one in 140 characters"
Everyone was too confused to do anything, so they just watched with mouths agape as we ran Benny Hill-style through the auditorium, me waving my enormous net, like I was capturing a mental patient.
Which I was.
I caught the feathered fraud in my net just as we reached the back door. In the process, I stepped on one of his enormous yellow feet, which got left behind as I angrily shoved him out of the building. It sat there, a solitary testament to the strange events that had just transpired.
Well, there goes our costume deposit.
And at that moment, as if on cue, Twitter CEO Evan Williams took the stage. It was almost like it was planned. But you know what they say -- birds of a feather.
We went outside, where people were still asking for Fake Twitter Bird's autograph. "NO MORE AUTOGRAPHS!" I yelled. "NO MORE PHOTOS!"
"Wow," said one thirtysomething Web designer, going back into the building. "Twitter Bird sure is a douchebag."
Trick, or tweet? Let us know what you thought of our prank below, or give us a shout-out at #faketwitterbird -- and don't forget to follow @zugtweet for more comedy pranks every weekday!
I think you could have gone for the R rated version and threw him up against the wall and emptied his pockets, just like in COPS. You could have pulled out a Meth pipe, some white powder and some flack seed and cuffed him in front of a crowd of horrified onlookers. Or possibly tazed the bird and offered the crowd some rotisserie.
Here's the truly impressive part of this: John whipped up this 'prank' only after his wife received an anonymous email saying that John was 'chasing some bird' in Austin.
I think it would have Frost-ing rocked if you had set up a guy in a whale suit to come in from the side, and then had the bird and him have a showdown, with the bird ultimately pulling the whale out of the auditorium.
I Still Haven't Figured Out How to Do Stuff Properly on This Site, so lest anyone think I'm one of those douche bags who doesn't rate stuff (though I am a douche bag for many other reasons), I give it a five emoticon rating, because it is side splitting. Also - Moses is a unsung Frost-ing comedy god (even if he was the worst Frost-ing Michael Jackson impersonator in the history of Michael Jackson impersonators!) You haven't lived until you've seen his Gay Pirate!
Well, I also deleted your comment back to the spammer to save you the embarrassment of looking stupider than usual. But you rose the occasion and re-posted. Bravo!
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