Twitter or Twatter?
A comedy article
by spleendingo  157  7
04/24/2010 11:37 PM 285 views
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Ahhh Twitter. How you fooled me into becoming one of your mindless drones. At first, I was fond of your micro-blogging experience, but I learned a valuable lesson. No matter how many times you speak about it, your bowel movements never really matter to me. Not to say they're not good or anything....no, no. I, myself, and I (again), have had major movements that matter to me on a personal level.
Who will ever forget the chalupa dump of April 15th? Or the awesomeness that was vodka marinated jalapeno poppers of March..... (whatever the date was). I shall not soon forget. My colon ESPECIALLY will not forget.
But, Twitter, you fooled me. You tricked me into spending all my valuable time (and by valuable I mean not really valuable at all) writing about these trivial things when there was a much more important matter at hand.
P..O..R..N!
Not only porn, but FREE porn. It's all over the internets people! Did you know that? And if you did, why the hell didn't you tell me this before?!? Being a person who's credit card history is...well...less than acceptable (thanks for that information Olive Garden), I feel the I should have been informed of this a long time ago.
Therefore don't expect me to tell any of you Frost nuts when the money tree grows in my backyard and I start Shakespeare-ing $100 bills. HA! Too late now suckers. Oh, by the way, I have some stained underwear for sale on ebay. I hear that's a hot thing to do right now.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Funny
3 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054151184
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Funny
3 votes
3.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054151185
Satans Toenails 4,199  12
04/24/2010 11:44 PM
You know what's even hotter? Smashing your computer with a sledgehammer..
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054151206
Ceci n'est pas une Phla 131,068 34
04/25/2010 07:37 AM
Yes, but what is your opinion on the Canon 150 Double Zoom Pro Shot?
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054151207
Thirsty McSurley, now with 100%+E 4,444 12
04/25/2010 07:40 AM
Too long, didn't read, could you condense that down into a twitter for me?
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054151208
Pram 80,728 42
04/25/2010 07:49 AM
Twattest.
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054151209
Madness 4,366 10
04/25/2010 08:05 AM
There's plenty of free porn out there that you don't need the internet for you know.
Why do you think womens locker rooms were invented?
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054151225
OmegaLazarus 247 10
04/25/2010 12:07 PM
There's plenty of free porn out there that you don't need the internet for you know.
Everyone has a mom and some of us were blessed with sisters...and brothers!!!
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