Jeeni 47,815 51
05/10/2010 05:58 PM

He needs to place an order while having straws stuck up each of his nostrils.

Midgets, now on TLC! 96,151 48
05/10/2010 06:08 PM

Start a Starbucks Express.

Return a rotten steamed milk.

Build a fort at his table with empty cups.

The Mailman 176,467 56
05/10/2010 06:16 PM

Find someone to engage in competitive cup stacking, with venti-sized cups.

Make that venti-sized cups filled with coffee.

Brad Poynter 36,184 48
05/10/2010 06:18 PM

Order the drink with the longest name possible and then drink it.

This guy thinks it's a Venti, sugar-free, non-fat, vanilla soy, double shot, decaf, no foam, extra hot, Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha with light whip and extra syrup, but they may have added something since then.

How many syllables can you drink?

Thud 68,525 19
05/10/2010 07:20 PM

He needs to enter into a long discussion (with any employee who will go along) about the relative merits of each type of drink they serve as it would apply to coffee enemas.

Dasypygal-unwaxed 14,811 17
05/11/2010 01:22 AM

Trade shoes with a stranger.

*Bonus points for girl shoes.

Fratberry 283,051 53
05/11/2010 01:26 AM

1: Order every drink with a banana in it.
2: Bring a jar of Sanka and insist they make it for you.

Bean 8,607 19
05/11/2010 01:30 AM

Ask what happens to the used coffee grounds every day and ask if you can have them. If they agree, spread them all over your exposed body parts and leave them there for a good hour. Tell anyone that asks that they're really whiskers, as you're about to turn into the wolf man.

Slurpy Sammich ! 772 9
05/11/2010 02:11 AM

Order 5 or 10 or as many coffees as possible and add a little from each into one cup .After having made this monster coffee drink it.Applause, if he can get some other customer(s) to drink off it as well.

Anh Onymous 11,158 14
05/11/2010 02:59 AM

Some insider ideas:

If you buy any drink, Starbucks will let you refill it for $0.50 with a coffee or ice coffee as long as your first drink was consumed within the store and within the hour. Try to get as many refills as you can.

The "Grinds for you Garden" program makes it so that employees have to give you the used espresso grinds if you request them. See how many times you can get grinds. Use said grinds to build a snowman and/or start your own garden with venti cups.

Any drink you order, get "Breve" which is steamed half and half instead of regular milk. Do this especially when its busy. Baristas hate steaming breve.

Whenever abnemployee says "frappe" correct it to "frappuccino" and threaten to sue for trademark infringement since baristas aren't allowed to say frappe.

End. In. Ravos. 63,472 21
05/11/2010 08:32 AM

Order the most complex drink you can. When they give it to you, get mildly annoyed, and say you asked for something close, but with 1 small thing different. For example, ask for foam, and then when they give it to you, say you asked for no foam. Keep repeating this ad nauseum, ensuring they have never actually gotten it 'right'.

End. In. Ravos. 63,472 21
05/11/2010 08:34 AM

Bayan should dress in all black. A turtle-neck, black pants & shoes. Also, he should be wearing sun-glasses and black french berret. He should bring with him a stool and a pair of bongo drums.

Sitting somewhere visible, he should start a poetry slam with his bongo drums, improving all the terrible poetry he can. Leaving an empty cup around for people to throw money at him would also be handy. He should do this for the full 24 hours.

Fratberry 283,051 53
05/11/2010 08:47 AM

Hold a bible study. Bring a snake as part of the activity.

Midgets 96,151 48
05/11/2010 09:05 AM

Submit a job application every hour. Give a different name and information each time, but give them to the same person.
Take some along from WalMart, McDonalds etc, in case they don't have any or stop giving them to you. Get blank health questionares from a doctor and turn those in too.

Whistler P. McManus 186,133 44
05/11/2010 10:00 AM

Reenact the scene from The Pope of Greenwich Village in which Bed Bug Eddie slams a cup of espresso laced with lye.

Fratberry 283,051 53
05/11/2010 10:22 AM

Set up in a corner of the place and start doing caricature drawings for free. Make all of them slightly obscene.

Fratberry 283,051 53
05/11/2010 10:28 AM

Like, instead of giving everyone a large head like most caricatures you'd give everyone a large butt.

End. In. Ravos. 63,472 21
05/11/2010 10:32 AM

And a dick taped to their forehead.

Brad Poynter 36,184 48
05/11/2010 10:34 AM

Give him one of these, one of these, and one of those.

Throw this in for good measure.

I want to see pictures of him sneaking sweetener into peoples drinks with the spoon, and gooseing a barista with the fork. I don't want to see any pictures of him with the croissant.

Pants 14,252 17
05/11/2010 10:50 AM

Down about 4 or 5 of their most caffeinated drinks then pickup a piece of their, more than reasonably priced, merchandise and say "Now what are you?" Read the product's label aloud, in its entirety, and then continue to the next item until all of the labels have been read.

Feel free to add comments such as:
"Hmmm interesting" "I never knew that" "Ewww, I wouldn't poop in this thing" "Tobacco?" etc...

Slurpy Sammich ! 772 9
05/11/2010 10:51 AM

Make farting noises and excuse yourself saying you have lactose intolerance.

Shell Belle 77,143 25
05/11/2010 10:51 AM

While sitting there drinking his coffee, he should start acting as if it's cold in the shop. A couple of little shivers and some arm rubbing should do the trick. Then he should reach down for his briefcase, put it on the table and open it. Inside is a pink Snuggie, which he takes out and makes a big deal of putting on.

When people start giving him strange looks, he should say, "Well, the commercial says you can wear them anywhere!"

Slurpy Sammich ! 772 9
05/11/2010 10:55 AM

Watch porn with a volume subtle enough to let the others know, yet not loud enough to be of annoyance.

OmegaLazarus 247 10
05/11/2010 01:45 PM

Keep score with a Marker. Each time you order a drink, put a large tick mark on your forarm and say the same catch phrase moderately loud each time. Such as "One down, ninetynine to go." or "Twentythree cups, I'm a beast!"

End. In. Ravos. 63,472 21
05/11/2010 01:49 PM

Every coffee he gets, he should return saying it is too cold, regardless of actual temperature.

Madame KChiki 128,446 98
05/11/2010 02:35 PM

Pick out the cutest barista and ask her what her Starbucks drink of choice is. When she tells you, no matter what kind of soy-laced skim abomination it is, say "Whip me up one of those!" Then drink it, exclaiming how good it is.

Bonus points if you get a date.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
05/11/2010 04:05 PM

Take a chess board. Set it up and play yourself, making sure you stand up and switch to the other side of the table between turns, maybe putting on and removing some article each time (hat, glasses), making it easy to distinguish which player you are currently playing as.

As the game goes on, get angrier and angrier, yelling insults at the empty side of the table where you were just sitting. Constantly accuse yourself of cheating. End the game by sweeping the board off the the table and declare that you simply can't play with someone who won't follow the rules.

End. In. Ravos. 63,472 21
05/11/2010 04:06 PM

Set it up and play yourself, making sure you stand up and switch to the other side of the table between turns, maybe putting on and removing some article each time (hat, glasses), making it easy to distinguish which player you are currently playing as.

A moustache.

Fratberry 283,051 53
05/11/2010 05:20 PM

Strip Solitaire

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,048 22
05/11/2010 05:27 PM

Get one of those giant foam fingers and cheer on the servers while they make drinks. Bonus: If a customer complains that their drink took too long, you can yell, "are you blind, ref!?"

Fratberry 283,051 53
05/11/2010 05:28 PM

GAAH!! BOB!!!

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,048 22
05/11/2010 05:36 PM

Every few hours, go into the washroom and change clothes. The costumes should get increasingly ridiculous. For example,

1. Jeans and t-shirt
2. Tuxedo
3. Assless chaps
4. Snuffleupagus costume
5. Typical high school student clothes

Running with Scissors 3,510 12
05/11/2010 06:06 PM

Greet all customers as they enter the store by saying, "Welcome to Starbucks. We're happy you're here."

TopHatSnake 3,464 10
05/11/2010 10:35 PM

walk in with a coffee-maker, coffee, water, sugar, etc in a backpack, stake out a table near an outlet, and set up shop, claiming you have to study for finals and need plenty of coffee.

Running with Scissors 3,510 12
05/12/2010 12:09 AM

Bring your laptop with you and go to Zug. Encourage all the nice people you meet at StarBucks to immediately sign up at Zug. They can post along with you while at StarBucks!

Tell them that all newcomers are treated with kindness and patience and they will enjoy the time invested at Zug.

Akterbat 200 8
05/12/2010 12:20 AM

Strike up conversations with the other customers in Klingon. Act horribly offended when they don't understand you.

Casually walk up to people with laptops and appear to take notes of what there screens reads.

Ask for a coffee with "extra awesome".

Bring a 3-ring binder with "LAPTOP" written on the front and keys and such drawn on the inside, then loadly complain about the Wi-Fi reception.

Order delivery pizza. Bonus points if the pizza joint is across the street or in the same stripmall as Starbucks.

Openly brag about how many friends you have on Facebook.

Lloyd 48,662 14
05/12/2010 07:12 PM

Use biscotti and other baked goods as needed to build a scale model of a dunkin donuts.

Lloyd 48,662 14
05/12/2010 07:15 PM

every time you order, pretend to be non-verbal, and insist on writing down the order, as well as some back-and-forth with the server, asking additional questions, or making a last-minute change. then, after each order, say "thanks very much, this looks delicious" out loud.
bonus points if rather than writing down your orders, you use an ipod touch or ipad with a speech output app such as ProLoQuo2go.

Bayan Rabbani 2,826 14
05/12/2010 07:33 PM

If you'd like to follow the twitter, here's a link to where I'll be making live updates with text and pictures: http://twitter.com/bayanstarbucks

Yuoaman 123 6
05/12/2010 08:00 PM

(I'm the Aquaman impersonator on Twitter that told you to bring a whale, just to let you know, haha.)

I say you bring a stuffed animal - preferably a whale, or some sort of sea creature - name it something like Hephaestus, then every time you order a drink ask whether it's safe for {insert animal name}s. If they say yes, or some sort of affirmation, tell them that Hephaestus thanks them, and then order the drink.

And at one point you have to put on a cape and spend about five minutes posing in one of the corners. Afterward just take it off and sit down with a newspaper or something.

Yuoaman 123 6
05/12/2010 08:07 PM

You should also bring a treasure map, with entirely irrelevant features, and try to get the staff to help you decipher where the treasure is buried.

Coffee House Arrest 16 5
05/12/2010 11:59 PM

Bring in an old typewriter in its case from the 1950s, a huge stack of blank paper, extra typewriter ribbons, white out, an ashtry and cigarettes (don't light them of course, just as props), and a waste basket. Set everything up at a table and bang away on the keys, making sure to make lots of errors, make a slight mess with the white out and keep typing like a madman.

Dasypygal-unwaxed 14,811 17
05/13/2010 08:11 AM

Spurred on by the success of his 24 Hours in Super Walmart experiment, Bayan Rabbani will be spending 24 hours in a Starbucks this Thursday.


EDIT: this FRIDAY starting at 12:01 AM.


Geesh. Without any updates I was beginning to think some coffaholic, while trying to fuel up, murdered him in his Frost-ing face.

SBFANHOUSTON 7 6
05/13/2010 11:43 AM

Im from Houston! Iwas at that SB from 9pm till 7amToday doing an essay. For those who aren’t familiar with this starbucks allow me to give you a feeling of it. Every day almost all of the Houstonians that own a motorcycle meet up in the parking spots right in front of the SB. Last night there were about 40 motorcycles. The riders hang out outside showing off their bikes. Inside every chair, stool and couch is always taken with students. Always got to wait! You might end up with two chairs; one to sit and one as a table. There is between 7 and 15 people in line constantly. Around 2 am thers another fresh batch of drunks!!!
Proposals:
While it’s early take up the only large table in the store gather as many chairs as you can, set them around the table and wait for the place to fill up. When people ask to borrow a chair say that you are waiting for a studygroup. While you are “waiting” you can gradually set up coffee cups with coffee like beerpong. After that if someone asks for a chair tell them that youll play them for it! Bonus if you manage to get a big crowd watching (Tip:use bold coffee for your opponents and decaf foryou).
Ask people if you can sit on their bikes “to feel how the power of the engine feels between your legs”
Before 2 am change into dress clothes use tequila as mouthwash and act drunk. Bonus points if you get invited to an afterparty!
While acting drunk, try asking people where a hotel is. Make sure that the only thing they can understand is “where is” mumble “hotel.” See how long they attempt to understand you and what they tell you once they get fedup. Bonus if a girl ends up inviting you to her apartment till you “soberup.”
In the morning get in line in front of the stuck up people in their suits and when your ordering see how many times you can get away with changing your mind

Akterbat 200 8
05/13/2010 06:34 PM

Order a coffee with the most technical and/or contorted way possible, e.g.
"I would like one medium-sized ground coffee-bean-extruded water-based beverage, with an acceptable amount of bovine mammary gland extract and an equal amount of bovine mammary gland extract cream."

You could make that longer of course, but my brain hurts too much already.

Akterbat 200 8
05/13/2010 06:36 PM

And when you get the coffee be sure to just say "Thanks for coffee, man."

John Hargrave 128,751 73
05/14/2010 09:53 AM

Update: Just spoke with Bayan by phone. His first words were, "I hate you."

Ten hours into it, and he's already insane. And we've got the biggest paper in Houston coming to interview him in a few minutes.

This is not going to end well.

Midgets 96,151 48
05/14/2010 09:58 AM

Houston SteerFroster: Mr. Bayan, why are you spending 24 hours in Starbucks?

Bayan: I lost a game of Truth or Dare with this Emerson, John. It was either this or kiss Jeeni Maier on the cubicle for a whole minute.

Fratberry 283,051 53
05/14/2010 10:24 AM

This is not going to end well.

Eeeexcellent.

Fratberry 283,051 53
05/14/2010 10:27 AM

Even though it is too late...

Dress up as Juan Valdez. Complain that the coffee is not up to your substantial standards. Bring a donkey and tie it to a sign outside the store. Occasionally call the store from your cell phone and demand to speak to the donkey.

DONKEY!!

John Hargrave 128,751 73
05/14/2010 03:39 PM

Check out this video piece the Houston Chronicle did on Bayan today.

Madame KChiki 128,446 98
05/14/2010 03:42 PM

I like how they did the entire video in fast motion.

Brad Poynter 36,184 48
05/14/2010 04:15 PM

Someone should call the Houston Police Department and report that he stole their coffee.

John Hargrave 128,751 73
05/14/2010 10:05 PM

And even more Houston media coverage of Bayan's epic 24 hour stunt!

Bayan Rabbani 2,826 14
05/15/2010 01:30 AM

Thanks to everyone from ZUG for their input, suggestions, following me on twitter, and everything else. I'll have a full recap done for Monday. Thanks again, and to hell with coffee. G'night.

Frogpop 173,153 25
05/15/2010 02:17 AM

I certainly hope you stayed late to make up for all the time you weren't actually in the Starbucks.

Pants 14,252 17
05/15/2010 09:24 AM

Check out this video piece the Houston Chronicle did on Bayan today.

"even though it was a great job, I didn't take it seriously so they had to let me go."





You mean your ass got fired!