Zolton Under Glass 88,214 34
06/04/2010 02:51 PM

If you want a new nurse just because you feel embarrassed now, I wouldn't worry about it. Those people hear all sorts of things in the course of their work, and I doubt she gave it a second thought.


On the other hand, now you know she's not into anal. Kick her prude ass to the curb and find one of those kinky slut ones they talk about in the back of Penthouse.

SHP 181,795 70
06/04/2010 02:57 PM

I think that in truth, the nurse needs to be replaced because there is only one A word, and that A word is 'in da butt'.

It's Marmite, FFS... 12,955 12
06/04/2010 02:59 PM

The ones in the skimpy white nurse outfit with the red cross on? And the white stockings? And the ample cleavage?

My god. If it had have been - well, she'd probably have given me tips.

Incidentally, I wasn't embarrased, I just felt bad that I had made her stutter and stammer over that one.....Nowt wrong with a bit of butt-lovin'

FuIly waxed 39,193 20
06/04/2010 03:00 PM

You aren't really GABified until you suggest that you and your lovely redheaded nurse become lesbian lovers and remove all need of birth control.

KChiki - OMG Pwnies! 128,446 98
06/04/2010 03:01 PM

"Doin' the butt!
Hey, sexy, sexy!
Ain't nothing wrong if you
Wanna do the butt all night long!"

Declan McManus Original since 2010 131,891 36
06/04/2010 11:39 PM

What sort of nurse wouldn't suggest oral? Yes, there is a risk of STIs, but not of pregnancy.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
06/04/2010 11:57 PM

No, the smell of rubber makes me sick

They make polyurethane condoms, you know. Also, I'd really suggest an IUD. They just have a bad reputation because of the people they killed in the 70's. They're safe now, I swear.

It's Marmite, FFS... 12,955 12
06/05/2010 11:09 AM

I haven't had a baby (which makes it easier to fit) and it hurts apparently. Plus I know 2 people that had it embed into their Uterus and had to have it cut out. Don't want to do a Shelle Belle on myself.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
06/05/2010 11:23 AM

Well, then, use polyurethane condoms or don't have sex.

Dr Taco (no punctuation required) 61,976 36
06/05/2010 12:10 PM

Or don't be a complete Frost-ing Poe and go on hormone based birth control.

Or, you know, anal.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
06/05/2010 12:37 PM

*high fives Taco*

For many, I would recommend a method of birth control that eliminates user error... like an IUD. Or sterilization. Whatev.

Shell Belle 77,143 25
06/05/2010 12:45 PM

Don't want to do a Shelle Belle on myself.

Heh. I've become a euphemism for female sterilization.


Come, join our club, Marmite. Become a Hyster Sister. We have the greatest parties, and the only feminine protection you will ever need again is a can of pepper spray.

Future Druggist 2,533 11
06/05/2010 01:46 PM

implanton. works for three years. is implanted into your upper arm and just needs to be removed or replaced every three years. Plus your periods disappear completely after about 3 months.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
06/05/2010 02:16 PM

FutureDruggist, if you're really going to be a pharmacist, you should learn how to spell Implanon.

It's Marmite, FFS... 12,955 12
06/05/2010 06:24 PM

I'm on Cerazette. I did have Depo-Provera jabs but you can only have that for 2 years. I've tried Yasmin, Microgynon and another pill I forget.

Cerazette so far is working out OK, but I do worry about the long term effects of taking hormones. It can't be good for you. I mean, I don't want to look back ten years from now wondering how the hell I get rid of the dick and balls I've grown.

Dogs Akimbo 211,626 32
06/05/2010 07:39 PM

You know how you make a hormone?


Don't pay her. You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her as smart as Dorothy Parker.

Future Druggist 2,533 11
06/05/2010 07:44 PM

Nope, just need to know how to read it off the slip, beside you got what I was going for.

Dr Taco (no punctuation required) 61,976 36
06/06/2010 12:01 AM

I do worry about the long term effects of taking hormones. It can't be good for you. I mean, I don't want to look back ten years from now wondering how the hell I get rid of the dick and balls I've grown.

You are officially a Frost-ing idiot.

It's Marmite, FFS... 12,955 12
06/06/2010 05:02 PM

Taco, how do you work that out? A - I was joking. and B - It CAN'T be good for a women to take Progesteron long-term.

So, please, do explain.

Jeeni 47,815 51
06/06/2010 05:05 PM

Although I am not Taco, I will try to explain her reasoning:
You have a dick and balls, therefore you are a Frost-ing idiot. (in her eyes)

Is that clearer?

Dr Taco (no punctuation required) 61,976 36
06/06/2010 05:17 PM

B - It CAN'T be good for a women to take Progesteron long-term.

You are making a statement about something which you clearly know nothing about (by your own choice - the pill is 50 years old this year and there's a Frostton of literature about the history of it, developments, and long-term side effects including such horrible things as "reducing ovarian cancer") and while it currently influences only your health decisions, eventually you'll end up with children (because you're a simpering vag about every form of birth control available) and this kind of "well it can't be good for you!" and "my friends had problems" attitude towards medicine (especially family planning) is why it's so easy for the radical right to convince low-income less educated women and people in power in developing nations to demonize birth control and keep women in subjugated positions in society.

So, in short, I think you should just take it up the butt.

It's Marmite, FFS... 12,955 12
06/06/2010 05:28 PM

Wow. Way to go with the hatin'...

I only mention the whole side effects thing as I already have health problems, and don't want to add to them. As for kids. Not gonna happen. EVER.

Jesus H Christ the world does not need mini-Marmites.

Nachos 57,521 23
06/06/2010 05:38 PM

this kind of "well it can't be good for you!" and "my friends had problems" attitude towards medicine (especially family planning) is why it's so easy for the radical right to convince low-income less educated women and people in power in developing nations to demonize birth control and keep women in subjugated positions in society.

You say that as if it's a bad thing.

UnderWhere? - made of star stuff 101,398 77
06/06/2010 07:23 PM

My oldest daughter has an IUD. Our doctor gave her a referral to a Planned Parenthood in the city to have it inserted. I drove her there, and when we were leaving, a crowd of Pro-Lifers had assembled out front, picketing.

I was so ashamed - I'm sure it looked like I had just paid for my teenager to have an abortion. My daughter didn't help matters by slinking down in the seat and then raising her fist into the air, flipping them all off. It would have been a lot better if I could have just raced out of the parking lot, but there was a bunch of traffic. I had to stay with her doing that next to me at the entrance, with 15 or so freaks silently judging me, for at least 2 minutes.

Whistler P. McManus 186,133 44
06/06/2010 08:10 PM

You should have asked them if it was too late for their mothers to get abortions.

Spicey McRavos 63,472 21
06/07/2010 10:50 AM

What what, in the butt?

Pants 14,252 17
06/07/2010 01:37 PM

Marmite, you should consider taking the sheepskin condom route.


I hear they are baaaahdass.

Spicey McRavos 63,472 21
06/07/2010 01:38 PM

I award you no points for that pun.

UnderWhere? - made of star stuff 101,398 77
06/07/2010 01:51 PM

I sheepishly gave him two. I like things that are punny.