Things that you, parents, do...
A comedy conversation
by Janice v 2.0  181,795  70
06/28/2010 03:23 PM 240 views
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I will often buy something for my kids in the generic form that I would only buy for myself in name brand. (Chapstick comes to mind.)
I wish to myself sometimes that my son was more trouble, so that I could punish him more, and that punishment would be household labor.
I feed my kids stuff I won't eat. Not like, I want them to have variety or whatever, but rather, I have some real issues about food that are unfounded and therefore I make the excuse to myself that I'm not pushing my issues on them, but I know deep down I'm just glad it's not getting wasted. A perfect example is grapes. I pretty much won't eat them two days after they're home from the store. I know they're ok but I just get grossed out and barfy thinking about it. I know if they look or taste bad, the kids will not eat them, so it's safe, so I encourage them to eat the grapes several days later just so they won't waste.
I totally see shades of my own mother when I tell my daughter why Miley Cyrus is inappropriate and a bad role model. Granted, I'm using those types of words, whereas my mom would have said "It takes a little slut to know one!" so, so far, I'm coming out ahead on that one.
I still won't admit to my son that his argument is valid -- in one month he sent over 17,000 text messages and he brought up that with Zug, texting, Facebook, email, and IM, I'm probably just as guilty of it as he is. However, I won't admit that the more I think about it, the more I realize that he's probably right.
What do you, parents, do, that will probably flavor your kids crazy?
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Like This? Rate It!
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Funny
7 votes
3.4
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Funny
9 votes
3.5
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Dogs Akimbo 211,626  32
06/28/2010 03:29 PM
I deposit sperm into a vagina.
More as it develops.
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Funny
3 votes
3.3
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TWSS - In the Name of Little Spider 27,416 24
06/28/2010 03:42 PM
My mom has 0 sense of humor, so usually when I do things to her as a joke, it ends in her crying. But, here are a few gems anyway:
She casually mentioned that she drank while she was pregnant with me, my sister, and my brother. I said "Well, that certainly explains a lot." End her in crying.
She TALKS THROUGH EVERY MOVIE we watch together. Then blasts the volume because she can't hear. I yelled at her (for both) one day and she hit me with the remote control. End in her crying.
She buys too many "things"; my house is full of fake plants, real plants, little wooden animals and 3 closets full of her clothes. She likes to shop, and I'll go with her (my dad's way of watching her spending). One day she wanted to go to the mall but I had just been to the mall all day with my friend. I went anyway to keep her company. She got mad at me for something, then as a "come-back" she yelled "YOU ONLY HANG OUT WITH ME SO I WILL SPEND MONEY ON YOU." Then in a calm voice I told her "Umm I was in the mall all day today I came to keep you company, I didn't need any of your money today." End in her crying.
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Funny
5 votes
3.8
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turtle10 42,578 26
06/28/2010 03:49 PM
and that relates to what you do to your kids how?
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Side-splitting
2 votes
5.0
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TWSS - In the Name of Little Spider 27,416 24
06/28/2010 03:53 PM
Umm.. it's what I do to my parents? Bite me turtle you suck anyway.
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Hilarious
2 votes
4.5
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Saddest Asshat ever! 11,439 21
06/28/2010 03:53 PM
I make my daughter listen to my music (all kinds: Yanni, Barry Manilow, Death Metal....) instead of letting her listen to the stuff she wants to (Miley Cyrus, Jonas Brothers, etc...)
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.3
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turtle10 42,578 26
06/28/2010 04:02 PM
TWSS dear, I'll just go ahead and paste it in the right threadhere for what your parents do to you. K, thanks, love ya.
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.3
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Brad Poynter 36,184 48
06/28/2010 04:15 PM
I am a computer Nazi. The only computer time they get to use one is at school or when they have to research something and even then I stand over their shoulder and make sure they are actually researching stuff. Seeing as how I spend most of my waking hours in front of one myself is probably hippocritical, but I can live with that.
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Hilarious
12 votes
4.2
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the fun in dysfunctional 1,970 6
06/28/2010 04:19 PM
Don't be critical of your hippo.
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Funny
7 votes
3.7
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Cinderblock 27,578 25
06/29/2010 07:20 AM
I buy my cat the good name-brand wet cat food, but I eat the generic stuff.
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.3
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Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
06/29/2010 10:28 AM
I deny their existence.
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.0
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Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
06/29/2010 10:30 AM
I buy my cat the good name-brand wet cat food, but I eat the generic stuff.
You eat generic cat food?
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Funny
5 votes
3.8
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KChiki - OMG Pwnies! 128,446 98
06/29/2010 10:41 AM
Well, she is a student living on her own.
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
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the fun in dysfunctional 1,970 6
06/29/2010 02:19 PM
I just read one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Kids are"Frost trophies".
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Funny
3 votes
3.3
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turtle10 42,578 26
06/29/2010 02:27 PM
more like booby prizes
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
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Cinderblock 27,578 25
06/29/2010 08:23 PM
You eat generic cat food?
That was the punchline. I should have specified...
ABORT JOKE! ABORT JOKE!
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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Crip Walkin' Ravos 63,472 21
06/30/2010 05:32 AM
As a parent, I always joke about not having kids.
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