The Case Of The Stolen Penguin
A funny link
by Luke McKinney  11,088  110
07/11/2010 06:39 PM 4971 views
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An Irish cyborg penguin was stolen from Dublin Zoo last week, and no, that headline was not the prank. This really happened.
Part machine. Part penguin. Okay, mostly penguin, but still.
In what the news is calling a "prank," Kelli the penguin (left in the above picture, and from now on this sounds like a children's story and is only slightly less ridiculous) was stolen from among a dozen of her kind in the do-we-have-to-say-which-enclosure. A gang of thieves scaled the security fences to penguinap her, shoving the live penguin in a sack, fleeing from the scene, and presumably suffering from a severe misapprehension of penguin resale value. Though it sounds like this gang would have accepted two euro and a cigarette, as they made their exotic-animal-robbery getaway by taxi.
They told the driver that the sack contained a rabbit, so even if he didn't know they were thieves he must have thought they were right Emersons, taking a rabbit to the zoo just to parade the fluffy morsel in front of all the captive tigers. Unlike a Disney film, the pranksters entered no comical world of misadventure and life-lessons, and instead abandoned Kelli on the sidewalk. Double unfortunately, the police and zoo intend to press full charges because -- without a comical voice-over -- Kelli could have been seriously hurt in the not-wild. Triple unfortunately, they're goddamn idiots.
The police recovered Kelli by tracing her implanted microchip transmitter, which is apparently marginally faster than tracing the reports of "Officer, either there's a penguin outside or someone has drugged me. Either way, come quick."
And now the link:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38152625/ns/technology_and_science-science/
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Like This? Rate It!
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Hilarious
8 votes
4.2
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Also Recommended on ZUG:
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Funny
4 votes
3.3
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Whistler P. McManus 183,262  42
07/11/2010 09:01 PM
Dublin Zoo has been targeted by annoying pranks before. In 2008, its switchboard was overwhelmed by callers asking to speak to Rory Lyon, G. Raffe and Ana Conda.
Just in case anyone is thinking of repeating the penguin caper elsewhere, I must warn you in advance that penguins smell terrible. I'd rather ride in a taxi with a skunk than a penguin.
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Hilarious
2 votes
4.5
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John Hargrave 128,123 71
07/14/2010 05:21 PM
Hardly a prank, but so well-written we're featuring it today anyway. Good work as always, Mr. McKinney.
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.3
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siv9939 12,376 16
07/14/2010 05:45 PM
If your going to steal a penguin and leave it on the side of the road, at least give it a bow tie and top hat.
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0 votes
0.0
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the fun in dysfunctional 1,970 6
07/23/2010 12:49 PM
Since penguins only occur south of the Equator, I doubt this is an Irish penguin.
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Funny
5 votes
3.6
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Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
07/23/2010 10:20 PM
I'm no scientist, but I suspect that penguins "occur" anyplace that someone brings a boy penguin and a girl penguin.
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.0
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Dogs Akimbo 205,285 31
07/25/2010 03:45 PM
...and some Barry White.
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