PacificPhi 1,860 6
07/13/2010 02:28 PM

I think we should begin with outfits:

Mr. Mike 11,439 21
07/13/2010 02:30 PM

I say get on the treadmill, IPod in his ears and sing along LOUDLY to the most annoying songs he can think of. Justin Bieber, They're Coming To Take Me Away Ha Haaaa! and for some reason, I've Been Working On The Railroad come to mind!

He should eat beans at the 16 hour mark and take Yoga class at the 23 hour mark. Getting kicked out at the end would be a nice finale.

Midgets 96,151 48
07/13/2010 02:34 PM

1) Wear a lobster suit in the whirlpool.
2) Ride the stationary bikes in full gear, or bonus for motorcycle gear.
3) Treadmill and electric wheelchair. Do I need to explain?

Crip Walkin' Ravos 63,472 21
07/13/2010 02:48 PM

He should begin with a jazzercise workout in a leotard & leg warmers.

Then go and lift weights, but lift the smallest ones possible, while trying to look like he is straining with each rep, grunting as if mustering up the power to actually lift it.

He should walk around the gym taking all the loose weights and bringing them to a machine. Then try to put all the weights on the machine, and ask someone to spot him. Then try in vain to lift it all.

MungChamp 35,891 35
07/13/2010 02:49 PM

He should find the corner of the gym that is 500 feet from the Kids Club so he can stay compliant with the law.

Midgets 96,151 48
07/13/2010 02:52 PM

Take a pot of rice and vegetables into the steam room. Sit there with a bib on and a hungry look in his eyes.

Brad Poynter 36,184 48
07/13/2010 03:13 PM

Wait until all the bikes are full and then ask them nicely to stop for a moment. When they do, pull a Green flag out of your pack and yell GO! GO! GO! while waving it like a madman. Bonus Points if you hang out and watch them until only one is still going then wave the checkered flag.

Get video!

The Mailman 176,467 56
07/13/2010 03:13 PM

Bring a big ham and attach it somewhere so you can use it as a punching ball, Rocky-style.

World Cup Phla! Balls. 131,068 34
07/13/2010 03:15 PM

Try to get ringworm.

Straw Spangled Banner 98,023 37
07/13/2010 03:23 PM

He can discuss with the personal trainer his goal of bulking up certain parts of his body - like his ears, feet, pinky finger.

Wear a frilly bathing suit and hair cap, and attempt to do synchronized swimming movements by himself.

I don't remember if this is possible on stationary bikes, but he could try cycling backwards in the spin classes. Do everything backwards - sit when the instructor says to stand and vice versa, go slower when he says to speed up, etc.

If the kid area is anything like the one in my former gym, there are cubbies to store things. If you see a small jacket, hat, backpack, etc, you could say you've been looking for yours and you think that might be it - then try to put it on.

The Mailman 176,467 56
07/13/2010 03:23 PM

Go to the group cycling section and cheer for the runners as if they were competing in the Tour de France. Bonus points if you do it in the style of the cycling fan below:

World Cup Phla! Balls. 131,068 34
07/13/2010 03:28 PM

You are all misreading the title. It is not "24 Minutes in a 24 Hour Fitness."

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
07/13/2010 03:28 PM

Take a doughnut tied to a string and hang it in front of the treadmill. Pretend like you are running after it.

Crip Walkin' Ravos 63,472 21
07/13/2010 03:54 PM

Better yet Bill, sneak up behind other people with the donut on a fishing rod and see if they run faster to get it.

Possibly take notes to self with a voice recorder.

turtle10 42,578 26
07/13/2010 04:01 PM

Order take out every hour on the hour. Pizza, chicken wings, chinese food....Count reps when taking bites. After each slice or wing, walk around arms swinging, or do some stretching. When people stare or ask, state matter of factly "I'm bulking up"

Luke McKinney 11,193 112
07/13/2010 04:05 PM

I am commenting only and entirely to make sure Bill the Squirrel's doughnut-on-a-stick-on-a-hat-on-a-treadmill idea is used. I think John still has one from his TeraCleanse experiment.

DO THIS BAYAN.

This hat could be the most important thing you ever do for comedy, Mr Rabbani. Don't let us down!

siv9939 13,642 16
07/13/2010 04:09 PM

Try to do an OK Go-esque dance on the treadmills.

Undies 101,398 77
07/13/2010 04:30 PM

Bring toy boats and a rubber ducky into the whirlpool.

cuddlyfluffbomb 52 4
07/13/2010 09:43 PM

Proclaim loudly about how he isn't leaving the treadmill until he's run at least 5 miles, and then walk at the slowest speed possible for the treadmill.

cappy1223 20 4
07/14/2010 01:55 AM

pick one really bulky guy and follow him around with a towel on your arm, like a butler. When he gets up from a machine offer it to him...

be a greeter, like at a walmart. When people come in welcome them, and when they leave comment on how much better they look than when the got there.

YaImaGingerSo 215 6
07/14/2010 04:42 AM

1. First you need a large group working out. More women the better. Second would be to get some small weights. I personally prefer the 2 pounders. From here it's simple, look like your straining to lift them and while doing this you simply let out some gas. Try for the build up farts. Low and short to loud and long always work the best.

FYI this can also be done in Yoga class

2. TALK TO YOUR NEIGHBORS!!! Whatever your doing talk to the random strangers next to you. Bring up personal and/or inappropriate material. Also while cycling or running try to go faster than your neighbor and call them slow poke or that your "gonna win the big race".

3. The pools. Skinny dipping might be a little to inappropriate... How about a speedo? Wet suit and snorkel to make you seem a little more perverted? Something wacky like children's floaty's that go on your arms to keep you a float? You could also inform someone that you'll be right out you gotta urinate first and then just stand there with your hands on your hips looking up. Don't forget to shake it before wrapping it up.

4. Ask the Pro Shop which professionals use which items and then keep asking for everything in the shop. Or ask ridiculous questions about trying to be the next Chuck Norris and that you need something that will help you with your roundhouse kicks.

and Finally....

5. Free Towels? Grab a handful and after every rep or every minute use a towel to "wipe your imaginary sweat". Just keep using a new towel every wipe. See how many towels you can pile up?

josh laravie 15 5
07/14/2010 05:06 AM

First, find a person at a bench working out. use the bench next to him and wait until he finishes and is sitting up, time it so that you guys sit up at the same time. Look over at him and ask him how much he is lifting, right when you do take a drink out of a water bottle, so right when he tells you the amount of weight spit the water out and start laughing at the amount no matter the number. then procede to lift the littlest amount of weight possible for that machine (struggling of course).




Ask everyone if they need a spot. Go up to people on the treadmills, in the pool, people doing curls, ask guys who all ready have a spoter if they want a "professional" spotter to take there "amatuer" spotters place. Right before you start an areobics class ask the instructor to spot you cause you have "a bad ankle". ask people if they can spot you and if they say yes, run on the treadmill and tell them to stand behind you in case you fall.

Whistler P. McManus 186,133 44
07/14/2010 09:29 AM

Wear a suit and tie in the sauna/steamroom.

Stand in the showers lathering yourself up and singing "It's Raining Men," at the top of your lungs.

Zelkun 639 12
07/14/2010 10:28 AM

Wear a suit and tie in the sauna/steamroom.

And conduct interviews with the other steamers.

"Inquiring minds want to know, are you freeballing under that towel?"

Xodiac 202 5
07/14/2010 10:33 AM

Swim laps wearing one of those inflatable horses around your waist. Bonus points for water wings.

Try to take the free weights home. "They're free, right?"

Take lots of pictures of the kids in the Kid's Club. Especially the girls.

Ask every single female for their phone number. If you fail to get any at all, start asking the men.

Order a pizza with everything, a side order of chicken wings, and a two-liter soda for dinner. Try to eat it all. Make sure you get DIET soda, though, you're trying to be healthy.

Frogpop 173,153 25
07/14/2010 11:55 AM

Run six marathons.

Ok, fine, five. Sissy.

Anh Onymous 11,158 14
07/14/2010 12:00 PM

Serve hors d'oeuvres in the steam room. Preferable steamed vegetables.

Brad Poynter 36,184 48
07/14/2010 12:15 PM

Talk to a personal trainer about your next attempt at the world hotdog eating championship and your life long goal of eating an entire weinermobile full of them. Make sure and emphasize word weiner every chance you get.

YaImaGingerSo 215 6
07/14/2010 04:01 PM

Sorry, another one just came to me. You know those halloween costumes that make you look buff like hercules? Well put one on and go "show off to the ladies" while lifting a weight lighter than a pencil. Be sure to tell them, "ya i rep about 8000 a day to keep in shape"

bshardy123 93 6
07/14/2010 09:29 PM

Pull a Spongebob and lift a bar with teddy bears on the ends.

Ask if they give refunds if you don't get fit in 24 hours.

Eat lots of junk food.

Ask why they don't have an escalator in front like this one:

Chicken Pate 53 7
07/14/2010 09:36 PM

snowsuit/jacket in the sauna, or similarly; rain jacket and umbrella in the steam room

Bayan Rabbani 2,826 14
07/14/2010 11:12 PM

Seriously, thanks to everyone who has been submitting ideas. Most all of them are REALLY funny and probably doable. I'm going to be narrowing them down tomorrow and hopefully come up with a handful that I'll attempt for sure.

You can follow my tweets here.

diburning 169 9
07/15/2010 02:19 AM

Do the OK GO treadmill dance

YaImaGingerSo 215 6
07/15/2010 01:30 PM

In order to do the OK GO treadmill dance he would have to move some treadmills around..... DO IT! Might piss off the staff so be careful.

Zelkun 639 12
07/15/2010 02:05 PM

Might piss off the staff so be careful.

Nah, they'll be too busy laughing as he falls on his ass again and again.

John Hargrave 128,751 73
07/16/2010 02:11 PM

Bayan will be beginning his endurance challenge tonight at 10:00 p.m. Eastern. Please send him support, hope, and fluids!

KChikita - OMG Bananas! 128,446 98
07/16/2010 02:37 PM

Please send him support, hope, and fluids!

Oh my.

Midgets 96,151 48
07/16/2010 02:39 PM

Done and done.

I'm going to go take a nap now.

YaImaGingerSo 215 6
07/16/2010 04:03 PM

hmmmm an hour away ..... i'm tempted to do like this guy did and go cheer for bayan


note: i would obviously look way hotter than this guy

Sir Chix-A-Lot 286,642 61
07/16/2010 05:31 PM

Weigh in once every half hour.

Complain LOUDLY that, "THIS JUST IS NOT WORKING!! THE REUNION IS IN 12 HOURS!"

Frogpop 173,153 25
07/16/2010 05:45 PM

I know this is short notice, but he still has time. Go out and buy a bikini. Tote the bikini around the gym and hang it up on a hanger in front of wherever you're exercising for inspiration.

"No, I don't want to fit into that bikini, that's stupid. ..But I wouldn't mind fitting into something that fits into that bikini. *wink* *wink*"

Jeeni 47,815 51
07/17/2010 12:18 PM

Your sweatband is endearing, Bayan.