Shell Belle 77,143 25
07/14/2010 09:01 AM

I spend ten minutes every morning crying over my Master's degree. All that education. To become a stay-at-home mom. And I'm kind of ugly too.

Hey, thanks for the morning self esteem boost.

turtle10 42,578 26
07/14/2010 09:05 AM

I can to the conclusion the other day that I was in fact, not good looking. It was a sad moment......oh wait, this is the internet. I am 6,2" and look like I was chiseled from stone with a full head of thick hair.

Shell Belle 77,143 25
07/14/2010 10:16 AM

oh wait, this is the internet

Yep, you can be anything you want on the internet. Unfortunately, I cannot morph into a voluptuous, tall, strikingly beautiful model by the time I show up in Boston, so I figure that honesty is the best policy.

Fratberry 283,051 53
07/14/2010 10:51 AM

I think I'm going to need a little more than makeup to get rid of this Planet of the Apes look.

Fratberry 283,051 53
07/14/2010 10:53 AM

I never knew my eyes could do that. No wonder my vision is blurry.

KChikita - OMG Bananas! 128,446 98
07/14/2010 10:53 AM

"Frat's O-Face."

turtle10 42,578 26
07/14/2010 11:07 AM

cannot morph into a voluptuous, tall, strikingly beautiful model by the time I show up in Boston, so I figure that honesty is the best policy.

That's why I won't say who I am in Boston. I can be anyone that posts but has never posted a picture. Unless of course the handful of people I have already met give me away or if anyone takes the time and searches for the one or two pictures of me on here.

KChikita - OMG Bananas! 128,446 98
07/14/2010 11:13 AM

You know now that you've said that, someone will point at you and yell "TURTLE!!!" the minute they see you and give you away, right?

turtle10 42,578 26
07/14/2010 11:18 AM

If you see a short, sort of chubby, baldish guy waddle in...yell TURTLE and he may or may not do the Truffle Shuffle

John Hargrave 128,751 73
07/14/2010 01:49 PM

I laughed at "Whore-lashes."

JackyMaille 46,366 58
07/14/2010 02:05 PM

Fratberry (who looks a lot like my old friend JJ) would look pretty damn sexy with some whorelashes!

Zolton Under Glass 88,214 34
07/14/2010 02:20 PM

Unfortunately, I cannot morph into a voluptuous, tall, strikingly beautiful model by the time I show up in Boston, so I figure that honesty is the best policy.

Well dammit, you could at least try.

It's either you, or we dress Nutbutter up again. Throw us a bone here, Shell.

Shell Belle 77,143 25
07/14/2010 08:50 PM

Throw us a bone here, Shell.

I'm trying to establish low expectations. That way when I show up and am not a complete dog, people will say, "Wow, Shell's not as bad looking as I thought she would be."

And I would hope that I look better than Nutbutter in a dress. If I don't, then promise to kill me right there and then?

Millie 116,989 28
07/14/2010 08:54 PM

Turtle, someone did post a picture of you with Sherri Berri once.

ker-PRAM! 80,728 42
07/14/2010 09:02 PM

I think I'm going to need a little more than makeup to get rid of this Planet of the Apes look.

I thought that was the Stuart Smalley look...

ker-PRAM! 80,728 42
07/14/2010 09:05 PM

"now it's time, to abuse your hair! That was not good for it."

This girl should be a comedian.

Crip Walkin' Ravos 63,472 21
07/15/2010 08:47 AM

The prospect of a female doing comedy is hilarious.

YaImaGingerSo 215 6
07/15/2010 01:29 PM

Can you be considered ugly just by your manly voice?......hmmm *stroking chinese beard* confucius say "yes"

Shell Belle 77,143 25
07/15/2010 01:38 PM

The prospect of a female doing comedy is hilarious.

Said the man who is not currently number one in the rankings.


Who is? That's right, a female. Well, I'm mostly female. I mean, I'm missing some of my female parts, but I'm still female. Hey, wait a minute, I never managed to stay on top this long when I had a uterus.

I think I just possibly proved your point, Ravos.

Sir Chix-A-Lot 286,642 61
07/15/2010 01:56 PM

Yeah, but you're from Ohio so we're mostly laughing AT you.

Shell Belle 77,143 25
07/15/2010 06:00 PM

Yeah, but you're from Ohio so we're mostly laughing AT you


You won't be laughing when Whistler, Declan, Ditdah, and I pay you a visit and beat the Shakespeare out of you with your own bible and other religious paraphernalia. I've got a perfect place for the crucifix to go.

Zolton Under Glass 88,214 34
07/15/2010 06:08 PM

You won't be laughing when Whistler, Declan, Ditdah, and I...

I see. Fifey, Fisty, Colonel Lesbo and SansUtero: The Four Horsemen of the Ohiopocalypse.

As if I didn't have enough nightmares already. Well, that's just goddamned spiffy.

Ditdah 123,110 14
07/15/2010 07:15 PM

Shelle, I have plenty of personal info on Zolton, so we'll make sure to stop by his place while we're in Boston, ok?

Cinderblock 27,578 25
07/15/2010 07:35 PM

That's pretty much my morning routine. I wake up looking awful and I leave the house looking pretty damn hot. I have to periodically run to the bathroom to refresh my makeup in order to maintain the illusion. You know those "hilarious" scenes in movies like The Nutty Professor where the whacky image-changing formula is starting to wear off, so they have to barricade themselves in the bathroom to frantically drink more magic elixir? It's kind of like that.

Declan McManus Original since 2010 131,891 36
07/15/2010 07:43 PM

Just get whomever you are interested in drunk! After the 6th Miller, or second martini, or third Pina Colada, your intended will think you're just perfect for now.

Shell Belle 77,143 25
07/16/2010 08:41 AM

Shelle, I have plenty of personal info on Zolton, so we'll make sure to stop by his place while we're in Boston, ok

Sounds good. I'll bring my extra-sharp sewing shears.


Zolton, you won't be laughing when SansUtero and Colonel Lesbo are cutting up your beloved collection of shirts and shoving them in various orifices.

SansUtero 77,143 25
07/16/2010 08:45 AM

By the way, I really like this name. Mind if I use it?

Zolton Under Glass 88,214 34
07/16/2010 09:29 AM

Zolton, you won't be laughing when SansUtero and Colonel Lesbo are cutting up your beloved collection of shirts and shoving them in various orifices.

Well that depends on whose orifices you're cramming fabric into, now, dunnit?

You two play together nice and slow, you hear? Make me forget my troubles.

Whistler P. McManus 186,133 44
07/16/2010 08:30 PM

I'm just excited to be one of the four horsepersons of the ohiopocalypse! But why does Ditdah get to be Colonel? I'm the one with real fake military experience.

Zolton Under Glass 88,214 34
07/16/2010 09:21 PM

Sorry, the Colonels I know are Sanders and Klink.

I figured she'd look the best with the monocle and the greasy fingers.

SansUtero 77,143 25
07/17/2010 11:49 AM

Whistler, you can be General Fifey, and Declan can be Admiral Fisty. Ditdah is Colonel Lesbo, and I'll be Private SansUtero.