There comes a time in every man's life when he feels the need to get in shape. For me, it was my rapidly approaching 25th birthday. I wanted to quickly pump myself into shape for my party -- not in a month, or a week, but in 24 hours.
Who better to take on this challenge than me? After spending 24 consecutive hours at Walmart and Starbucks, I could test my endurance at the one place where endurance is best tested: a gym.
But not just any gym. I wanted to spend 24 hours in 24 Hour Fitness. I mean, look at the name. It's like they were challenging me!
I set up a Twitter account, packed up my sweatbands, and hit the gym. And hit it again and again, for 24 solid hours. Here's what happened, tweet by tweet.
Just had a phone call from 24 Hour Fitness' corporate team, and they gave me the green light! Fri Jul 16 2010 16:18:36 via web
Normally, we don't get approval for these stunts -- we just show up, and hope they don't kick us out. A few days before my challenge, we put out a press release, which prompted an emergency meeting inside the corporate headquarters of 24 Hour Fitness. I think they wanted to make sure I wasn't going to set the place on fire, or (even worse) become their unofficial spokesman.
We don't have to discuss the irony of a 24 Hour Fitness not allowing someone in for 24 hours, because they generously approved my stay, and even called me personally to extend their welcome. The staff, who had all been notified of my visit, were incredibly welcoming and professional, and asked me only to keep it "family oriented." Fortunately, they didn't say whose family.
My first photo request. http://bit.ly/c9r2p2 Fri Jul 16 2010 21:08:22 via Twitterrific
I walked in like a star -- everyone knew me, and was expecting my visit. This is one of the employees at the gym, who's a real sweetheart and one of my biggest supporters. I actually got the shirt from a 24 Hour Fitness in San Ramon, California, where I was once had a membership. I knew it would come in handy one day.
Just downed this 32g protein bar after locking my stuff up. http://bit.ly/bjy4tT Fri Jul 16 2010 21:25:08 via Twitterrific
Anyone who knows anything about working out knows that protein is a key component to building muscle. Like a complete ignoramus, however, I ate the protein bar BEFORE my workout. Also, protein bars never taste like the flavor that's advertised. No matter what the package says, they all taste like suffering.
I'm going to do as many of these classes as possible tomorrow. I shall not have feeling in any part of my body on Sunday. http://bit.ly/9gVpuhno Fri Jul 16 2010 21:46:39 via Twitterrific
Simply put, the plan was to take as many classes as possible throughout my 24 hours. Maximizing my timing perfectly, I was able to set up five classes, back to back to back to back to back. Abs, Spinning, Pilates, Zumba, Yoga. And then, of course, Coma.
My official weigh in is 194lbs. I'm anticipating leaving this place at around 185ish...Fri Jul 16 2010 21:48:08 via Twitterrific
What can I say? I carry a lot of water weight.
This is the worst machine known to man. It has sculpted my butt nicely though. http://bit.ly/butOgV Fri Jul 16 2010 22:51:47 via Twitterrific
Damn the Stairmaster to hell. It made everything below my belly button hurt. I just want you to know that I sincerely, from the depths of my heart, hate this machine.
Talk about inanimate phallic objects... http://bit.ly/blTLR1 Fri Jul 16 2010 23:33:17 via Twitterrific
I walked by this thing on my way to the restroom, did a double take, then walked back to have a better look at it. Surely I'm not the first person to wonder which muscle this is supposed to work out, exactly.
Wow. It's pretty much just the maintenance crew and me in here right now. http://bit.ly/bpidkr Sat Jul 17 2010 01:39:51 via Twitterrific
This place is more empty than the received calls list from girls on my phone. Sat Jul 17 2010 01:41:02 via Twitterrific
To be honest, I was actually surprised as to why there were so few people in the gym that late at night. Where else do people go on a Friday night/Saturday morning? It's not like people hang out with friends and have social lives, right? Right?
My intention is to eat/drink all this protein over the next 24 hours while i work out. It's about 400grams. http://bit.ly/aUFjBk Sat Jul 17 2010 02:34:50 via Twitterrific
I took this picture at home before I left. I knew at some point I'd want to show everyone all the protein I intended on ingesting. Unfortunately, I didn't get through all 400 grams of protein, but I managed to eat/drink about 280ish grams. As I write this, my kidneys are still beating me up from the inside.
Finally fixed my phone. I'm a master of solving technical difficulties. Sat Jul 17 2010 06:24:08 via Twitterrific
For almost four hours, Twitter wasn't working on my phone. I panicked, restarted my phone, deleted the Twitteriffic app, tried a bunch of different things, until finally, four hours later, the app worked again. Amazingly, I did all this with my buttocks tightly clenched atop a medicine ball.
They have a "daycare" area here. I wonder if anyone would notice if I slept in that tube for a couple hours... http://bit.ly/cfJ9k0 Sat Jul 17 2010 06:28:11 via Twitterrific
I'm not gonna lie: I crawled into that beautiful slide and put my head down for about three seconds before realizing that no matter how tired I was, I didn't have an excuse to sleep in a red tube. In retrospect, I wish I had.
This sunrise would look beautiful if I still had full vision capabilities. Why is my eye twitching so much? http://bit.ly/aiUudN Sat Jul 17 2010 06:34:00 via Twitterrific
As I stood in the daycare after leaving the slide, cursing myself for attempting another 24 hour challenge, and those close to me for not stopping me before I started, I noticed the sun beginning to rise behind downtown Houston. Unfortunately, as I tweeted, my eyes were twitching from exhaustion, so it was difficult to make out the beautiful view.
I really need a camera crew. Oh god, I'm so delirious. 'Mornin twitter... http://bit.ly/9C1Rfg Sat Jul 17 2010 06:45:28 via Twitterrific
After bailing on the sunrise, I talked to the front desk employees a little bit and they took a picture of me that I like to call: "Good morning internet. Here's a thumbs up. I hate you."
My schedule for today: 8am ABS, 8:30 CYCLING, 10am PILATES, 11am ZUMBA, 1pm YOGA. I'm going to hurt tomorrow if I survive today. Sat Jul 17 2010 07:07:28 via Twitterrific
I survived and indeed I hurt that day, the next day, and probably every day for the next week. But seriously, who in their right mind teaches or attends a fifteen-minute class dedicated to your abdominal and oblique muscles at 8:00 in the freaking morning on a Saturday? Maybe I'm not the crazy one here. Think about it.
Breakfast of champions (49g protein): http://bit.ly/cGKIuT Sat Jul 17 2010 07:18:21 via Twitterrific
You really can't go wrong with a crapload of protein for breakfast. Unless it's followed by craploads of protein for an entire day.
Bout to go to my first class (Abs). My eyes exude enthusiasm. http://bit.ly/9fWu3i Sat Jul 17 2010 07:47:20 via Twitterrific
Does this really need any further explanation? LOOK AT MY EYES! I WANT TO GO HOME! NOT EVEN MY OWN HOME! ANYONE'S HOME! AHHHHH!! But I digress...
This cycling class is packed. Everyone is stretching and warming up, I'm taking pictures of myself on a bike http://bit.ly/bizwJB Sat Jul 17 2010 08:32:00 via Twitterrific
I remember sitting there at 8:30, nursing my bruised abs, watching my fellow spinning mates in the class, thinking to myself, "This is a great time for a photo op." I asked the girl warming up next to me to take a picture. She gave me a look as if I was crazy. I explained my 24 hour expedition and she didn't give me a crazy look -- she just turned her face away from me and focused on her warmup. I don't blame her.
The instructor is ripped! I kinda want her to beat me up when I'm through sucking at this. She just adjusted my seat for me. I'm in love. Sat Jul 17 2010 08:37:20 via Twitterrific
Like an idiot, I picked the bike that was right in front of the instructor. I attempted to woo her by sending her enchanting glances, but I could tell by her deltoids that she could crush my face just by winking at me. I halted my advances. Spinning instructor lady, if you're reading this, shoot me an email and we'll get coffee while you describe to me what it's like to move mountains with your pecs.
I'm not sure what molested me more: The bike seat or the instructor yelling "HARDER! FASTER! MORE! YOU GOT IT! POWEERRR!!!!" constantly. Sat Jul 17 2010 09:35:47 via Twitterrific
I have to give her credit: she was motivating. Every time I thought my legs were about to fall off of my hips, she would bark orders at the class to keep going. Imagine having her as a life coach; you'd be Tony Robbins by the age of 30. On the other hand, my butt is still killing me from the bike seat. I'm currently standing as I type this, for fear of the ass-pain.
The hell? I'm 195lbs now. I gained a pound?? MUST PUSH HARDER!!! ROWWRRRRRRR http://bit.ly/9zWkyr Sat Jul 17 2010 09:49:43 via Twitterrific
My mid-morning weigh-in really upset me. How could I have possibly gained a pound? Someone tweeted me that muscle weighs more than fat. I'm pretty sure it was all protein weight.
Pilates instructor to me when I said I'm new: "have you ever done a core workout before?" me: "i think I did some crunches when I was 16" Sat Jul 17 2010 10:48:41 via Twitterrific
Before the class started, the effiminate instructor asked if there was anyone new to Pilates. Standing in the corner, I feebly raised my hand and responded with this one-liner. After the class stopped laughing, he walked up to me, looked me in the eyes and said, "Baby, you're in for a world of hurt." If he only knew that I'd been in the gym for nearly 14 hours already.
In so much pain. Stretching after Pilates: http://bit.ly/afoMHj Sat Jul 17 2010 10:50:08 via Twitterrific
And indeed, I was in terrible amounts of pain afterwards. I have no idea how women do that workout all the time. I stretched my body in unimaginable ways. After the class, a guy put his hands on my shoulders, rubbed them a little, and whispered in my ear, "You did a fantastic job for your first time." I spun around to meet his endearing eyes. We shook hands, he told me that I'll be a real Pilates pro one day, and then he literally skipped off. I felt encouraged. And used.
I was still determined to spend 24 straight hours, even though that experience was anything but straight. Read on.
Please continue to Part 2: The Final Hours!
|
|
Store
2,826 
14 
12,043 
15
