24 Straight Hours in a 24 Hour Fitness, Part 2
A comedy article
by Bayan Rabbani  2,826  14
07/20/2010 12:13 AM 9070 views
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To get in shape for my upcoming birthday celebration, I was spending 24 hours in a 24 Hour Fitness, trying to get in shape in a hurry (read Part 1 here). I had already been in the gym for nearly 14 hours, and now I was in the middle of a five-class workout marathon.
Now I have a Zumba class in 5 min. I'm a machine. http://bit.ly/c81BeC Sat Jul 17 2010 10:57:09 via Twitterrific
I had no idea what to expect with Zumba, except what a girl standing in line told me: "It's some sort of Latin fusion dance workout. It's new." The "fusion" part of her description terrified me.
Zumba was amazing. I'm dropping out of this life and becoming a professional dancer. http://bit.ly/ckqSZ1 Sat Jul 17 2010 11:59:18 via Twitterrific
As it turned out, Zumba was awesome. I would get a gym membership just to do Zumba four times a week. Hot girls. I was the only dude. And dancing "fusion" is bad ass, even if it is Ricky Martin.
I'm in need of a shower, followed by several more showers. Sat Jul 17 2010 12:20:28 via Twitterrific
After 15 hours at the gym, I was in desperate need of a shower. I smelled horrible. Imagine a skunk in a sewage plant. Now imagine that skunk complaining about my body odor. That gives you the idea.
Just took a quick shower. My rendition of "it's raining men" was not appreciated by the patrons of the men's room. I got told to shut up Sat Jul 17 2010 12:32:24 via Twitterrific
I followed it up with "Where have all the cowboys gone?" and that's when the cursing (and some laughing) began. Sat Jul 17 2010 12:33:25 via Twitterrific
This was probably the scariest thing I have done so far. Within five seconds of my first song, someone in a nearby shower told me to shut up. After a few moments, I picked it up with the second song and I heard laughter from one side -- and the same guy who yelled for me to shut up, begin cursing and threatening my life. I was at a crossroads as to whether I should keep it up for the laughter, or stop immediately for the living. I chose life.
I'm desperate need of carbohydrates and electrolytes. My kidneys are literally in pain right now. http://bit.ly/bBpMyI Sat Jul 17 2010 12:45:01 via Twitterrific
Ugh. I should have planned my meals better.
They have my press release taped to the desk. http://bit.ly/932WLb Sat Jul 17 2010 14:17:57 via Twitterrific
This was epic. I was strolling around the front desk when I saw this. I busted out in a fit of laughter right there. I couldn't believe that I caused so much work and attention just because I wanted to spend 24 hours in a gym. Truly hilarious.
Apparently, 24 Hour Fitness can find me a girlfriend. http://bit.ly/b7gjEJ Sat Jul 17 2010 16:45:13 via Twitterrific
I'm still waiting on this promise. I have my phone next to me, and am waiting for the call from 24 Hour Fitness as to which gorgeous Italian model I should begin dating.
I've been here for 20 hours. Only 4 to go. I'm so exhausted and delirious. Walmart and Starbucks didn't even compare. Sat Jul 17 2010 17:04:07 via Twitterrific
Overall, this 24 hour stunt was far more difficult than the previous two on all levels. I think because I was so drained physically that it began to break me down mentally as well.
When you have eaten nothing but protein bars for 20 hours, this is freaking delicious: http://bit.ly/9qvy8k http://bit.ly/deV1JV Sat Jul 17 2010 17:20:25 via Twitterrific
Ostrich meat is amazing. I shall never eat another animal but the ostrich. I am hooked. That is all.
I made a friend: http://bit.ly/aiXg1K Sat Jul 17 2010 18:05:34 via Twitterrific
This employee is seriously one of the coolest dudes I have ever met in my life. We spent a while talking, and I have to give him a lot -- if not all -- the credit for getting me to the finish line.
Less than 3 hours to go... I'm dying oh my god... SO DELROOUD JCD HAHAHAHAGAHAAAA Sat Jul 17 2010 18:13:17 via Twitterrific
I was so delirious that as I was writing this up, I thought it was hilarious.
I am to 24 Hour Fitness, what Jared is to Subway. http://bit.ly/a61Ql4 Sat Jul 17 2010 18:51:01 via Twitterrific
Except I won't gain all my weight back.
To hell with it. I needed the calories. http://yfrog.com/0sj9cqj http://yfrog.com/ccpslxj Sat Jul 17 2010 19:02:41 via Twitterrific
Probably my greatest victory. I ordered three pizzas -- one for myself, and one for each of the awesome employee friends that I made at the gym in the evening hours. Real food has never tasted so good.
I went into the hot tub right after finishing my pizza and literally fell asleep for a few minutes in the water. Sweet sweet few minutes... Sat Jul 17 2010 19:20:21 via Twitterrific
Scary on a whole new level. This was the moment when I realized how badly I was fatigued. I sat in the hot tub, closed my eyes, and woke up choking on water. Carb overload plus extreme exhaustion pulled a CTRL-ALT-DELETE on my entire body.
The proper way to work out: http://bit.ly/cvvhSI http://bit.ly/bFm9tr http://bit.ly/a8hSsA http://bit.ly/cITIoJ http://bit.ly/c04KT7 Sat Jul 17 2010 20:04:34 via Twitterrific
I was nearing the end, so it was time to get a little crazy. I threw on the Snuggie, and did a routine I like to call "Snuggie Lifts." It's about to become the hottest new routine in America, so watch out for it.
The WHOLE FREAKING GYM stopped their workouts and watched me. Several people asked me, "What the hell do you think you're doing?" to which I responded, "Haven't you ever worked out in a Snuggie before? It's great for circulation and pancreatic endurance. Also, chicks dig it. Look at all the girls staring at me, bro." And sure enough, they were.
Final weigh in: 193 POUNDS!!!!! EVEN WITH PIZZA I LOST A POUND! Sat Jul 17 2010 20:40:43 via Twitterrific
I did it! I actually lost weight! I was so proud of myself for proving that it's possible to eat like crap, work out your body to the edge of its limit, and still lose some weight. True, I was on the edge of dehydration, but still! One pound!
IT'S OVER! 24 HOURS IN 24 HOUR FITNESS! http://bit.ly/aHDHfE Sat Jul 17 2010 21:02:54 via Twitterrific
Goodbye, 24 Hour Fitness. I'm not working out again until mid-January.
The Results
Overall, I ate 280 grams of protein, drank seven (yellow) Powerades, spend several hours playing basketball, completed five classes in their entirety, lifted weights twice, ran a total of two miles on the treadmill, and did a total of 30 minutes each on the elliptical and Stairmaster. What's more, I did it with only three minutes of hot tub sleep.
Some quick notes on the classes. If I had to rate all five classes in order of difficulty, it would be (from easiest to hardest):
1. Abs
2. Spinning
3. Pilates
4. Zumba
5. Yoga
BUT WHEN YOU'VE BEEN AWAKE ALL NIGHT, THEY'RE ALL EQUALLY DIFFICULT!!
Ranked in order of fun (from most to least):
1. Zumba
2. Pilates
3. Spinning
4. Yoga
5. Abs
Thanks to everyone who followed me on Twitter, especially the dude who stayed up the whole 24 hours, tweeting the whole time to show his support. Thank you to everyone on ZUG (especially Turtle10, Whistler, and Xodiac) who submitted all the funny, brilliant ideas for activities; you people are the real comedic geniuses. And thanks to the staff and corporate team of 24 Hour Fitness for allowing me to do this.
I had a lot of fun with this one, and have already begun planning the next 24 hour stunt, which should be the most epic of all. In the meantime, please follow my daily musings and jokes on my Twitter feed here.
And if you enjoyed 24 Hours in 24 Hour Fitness, be sure to check out Mr. Rabbani's previous endurance challenge, The Starbucks Experiment: 24 Hours Trapped Inside Starbucks.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Side-splitting
19 votes
5.0
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Also Recommended on ZUG:
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Funny
4 votes
3.5
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siv9939 12,376  16
07/20/2010 01:04 AM
I believe you got more exercise in those 24 hours than I have since I've graduated high school. Congratulations for not dieing.
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
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Crip Walkin' Ravos 62,361 20
07/20/2010 08:17 AM
Well done sir.
Although I must say, you didn't really do much of the stuff in the thread where you were looking for pranks to pull while there...
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
07/20/2010 11:36 AM
Well done, sir.
And you're right, I am a comedic genius. Happy to have helped, even in a small way.
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0 votes
0.0
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KChikita - OMG Bananas! 124,281 89
07/20/2010 04:19 PM
Bravo! You get mad props for the leopard-print Snuggie routine.
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
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KChikita - OMG Bananas! 124,281 89
07/20/2010 04:28 PM
I want that girl's green shirt.
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0 votes
0.0
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ali_turnoverz 15 5
07/25/2010 10:37 PM
Powerade and protien bars. That's living right there.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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ali_turnoverz 15 5
07/25/2010 10:38 PM
And I managed to spell "Protein" wrong. Go me!
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Side-splitting
1 votes
5.0
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Shell Belle 76,640 24
07/26/2010 08:35 AM
I wish there was a video of people's reactions to your Snuggie. I had suggested that for the Starbucks prank, but it worked much better here.
Where have all the cowboys gone? Good choice.
Hilarious.
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
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Robb Posch 1,375 13
07/29/2010 04:55 PM
I just saw this (a variation of this article, anyway) on AOL Today.
Granted, making AOL's main page would have been more exciting in 1997, but that's still pretty awesome.
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