The Top 6 Topless Pranks [Probably NSFW] A comedy article
by Luke McKinney 11,088 110 07/21/2010 12:21 AM 16024 views
Breasts are the best prank prop since the banana peel. They distract men, make them more suggestible, and turn off the part of the male brain that says "DON'T act like a drooling retard." We've found the six best breast-based pranks (making a total of of twelve total breasts for the math fans out there).
1. The MacGyver Mammaries Prank
With just a map, a length of wire and a tube top, these two technicians of tittery unleash a full-frontal assault on randomale* passers-by.
*Randomale: "Any guy will do," a strategy often employed in nightclubs, Sex and the City, and both echoing caverns within Tila Tequila.
This video perfectly captures a complicated male emotion, the facial expression for "I'm sorry but I'm really really not sorry."
2. The Topless Car Wash
Another bosom-bait-and-switch elevated to classic status by the sheer brilliance of the actors and hypno-titted victims.
From the girlish giggling of the ladies (who make Girls Gone Wild sound like they'd win the Nobel Prize for feminism) to the lunatic joy of the topless men (who aren't even lying because they totally, horrifically have breasts), this is just ten tons of cheering fratboy porkchop.
Unfortunately, anyone who watched the video now has diabetes.
3. Topless Ice Skating
At last. Someone looked at ice skating and thought "We need to liven that up ... with breasts." Various victims are asked to look after a tray of snacks (by someone who seriously overestimates the value of chips) before being taunted by pirouetting titties, a phrase I guarantee generations of bored Winter Olympic commentators have only dreamed of being able to use.
It's the Disney movie of pendulous pranks: the "victim" is kind to a stranger, and rewarded by boobies. If the real world worked like that, we'd all be living in heaven right now. This is also the first equal-opportunity areola-exposing prank, with women being pranked just as indecently as the men. And enjoying it!
4. The Divorce/Murder Ice Prank
Winner of the World Wide Web's Worst Idea Ever prank (and there's more competition for that than every Olympic medal combined), one man decides to prank his sunbathing wife:
a) with a bucket of ice-cold water
b) while she's topless
c) on camera
d) while laughing in a manner even the cast of Hee Haw would consider obnoxious
5. Topless Bowling
Tits are tested beyond the call of duty when one brave pair dares to ask: can they even make bowling interesting?
The answer: Yes, but only for the kind of people who go bowling.
6. The No Shirts Prank
ZUG is the best site prank site anywhere because we love these stunts, because we love you, and because we wait until the last item before pulling a "Topless Guys" fake out*. And even then only when it's excellent, with an army of Improv Everywhere-incited guys invaded Abercrombie and Fitch to show solidarity with the cruelly exploited poster hunks featured in every store.
Unfortunately, "A&F Advertising" and "Reality" seriously differ when it comes to male pectorals, and our brave breast-baring boys were asked to leave.
*Number 2 was technically pulled by the bikini women.
You would have to be quite the boob to not titter at these wonderful topless pranks, with my mammory i can only think of a few that were melon-choly, these are the best breast!
im feeling rather pun-ny today, maybe im being a boob
Everything about those erotic videos made me so hawnee I choked my daddies chicken until his willie threw up in my mouth and then I fisted his poopie hole, while pooey wet juices leeked on my face!
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