Declan McManus Original since 2010 131,891 36
07/28/2010 10:54 PM

That's Hufflepuff standard, there!

Declan McManus Original since 2010 131,891 36
07/28/2010 11:47 PM

Waxy--


Modern electronic scales intended for home use in the United States are switchable from metric (rest of the known world) to avoirdupois USA all the way!)

Dasypygal-unwaxed 14,811 17
07/29/2010 12:31 AM

I was just curious because I haven't needed a scale that measured anything under 50 lbs. since Cheech and Chong's album came out with the giant rolling paper inside ever.

Manhole VS Gravity 21,658 29
07/29/2010 02:37 AM

The sun is about 400 times larger than the moon. The sun is also about 400 times further from the earth than the moon. Because of this, they appear the same size in the sky.

Manhole VS Gravity 21,658 29
07/29/2010 02:44 AM

If the sun were to suddenly disappear, it would take about 8 minutes for the Earth to cease its orbit. This fact has only been realized in the past 100 years. And if you follow that rabbit down the hole, you end up with the somewhat humorous fact the energy and matter are actually the same thing.

Manhole VS Gravity 21,658 29
07/29/2010 02:47 AM

You can fit every Atari game ever made onto a 1.44mb floppy disk.

Declan McManus Original since 2010 131,891 36
07/29/2010 03:27 AM

"The Sun is a mass of incandescent gas."

ker-PRAM! 80,728 42
07/29/2010 08:16 AM

Stop motion animation was invented in 1898 by J. Stuart Blackton and his partner, Albert Smith. Film animation achieves the illusion of life with 24 separate frames, or still images, moved in front of the projector's shutter every second. Many animators die young due to skin cancer sustained from the intensity of studio lights they use, being randomly murdered, and catching pneumonia. They are very fragile people.

Declan McManus Original since 2010 131,891 36
07/29/2010 09:21 AM

They are very fragile people.




In some cases, not fragile enough.

Jeeni 47,815 51
07/29/2010 09:41 AM

The Sun is a mass of incandescent gas

Ok, now I'll be singing this song again all day... and tomorrow, and the day after that. Thanks a lot.

ker-PRAM! 80,728 42
07/29/2010 10:02 AM

In some cases, not fragile enough.

I want that on my tombstone!

Analog 9,608 19
07/29/2010 10:26 AM

Earth is the only planet not named after a god.

You can't kill yourself by holding your breath

Honey is the only food that does not spoil

KChikita - OMG Bananas! 128,446 98
07/29/2010 10:31 AM

My back itches and I can't reach the spot.

ker-PRAM! 80,728 42
07/29/2010 10:32 AM

Other useless information: My first album, Desperate Times, has been released!

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
07/29/2010 10:40 AM

curious as to why someone owns a scale that computes an accurate measure in ounces

Anyone who takes bread baking seriously will own such a scale.

Fun fact:

In first grade, Joey Escobar would stick crayons up his nose until his nose bled, then the blood would dry and the crayon would get stuck and he'd have to go to the nurse's office. He did this more than once.

Word on this street is he's now a billionaire.

ker-PRAM! 80,728 42 waits a beat
07/29/2010 10:49 AM

What does he do for a living?

KChikita - OMG Bananas! 128,446 98
07/29/2010 11:41 AM

If you cut off a cockroach's head, it doesn't die from decapitation. It slowly starves to death.

Jeeni 47,815 51
07/29/2010 11:49 AM

What does he do for a living?

Teaches people how to assault others with crayons?

ker-PRAM! 80,728 42
07/29/2010 12:04 PM

I want to do that.

Midgets 96,151 48
07/29/2010 12:08 PM

A male cat's penis has a band of about 120-150 backwards-pointing spines, which are about one millimeter long; upon withdrawal of the penis, the spines rake the walls of the female's vagina, which is a trigger for ovulation. This act also occurs to clear the vagina from other sperm in the context of a 2nd (or more) mating, thus giving the latter males a larger chance of conception.

Zolton Under Glass 88,214 34
07/29/2010 12:27 PM

And thus leading to the popular notion of 'scrapy seconds'.

That's a thing, right?

Sir Chix-A-Lot 286,642 61
07/29/2010 12:37 PM

Porn is mostly not real.

BisectYouAll 5,200 15
07/29/2010 01:50 PM

You can make a diamond with peanut butter.

Midgets 96,151 48
07/29/2010 01:59 PM

I just ate three chili cheese dogs and realized I haven't masturbated in over a month.

Zolton Under Glass 88,214 34
07/29/2010 02:07 PM

If you can eat three chili cheese dogs in one sitting without rubbing one out in joy, then you're a better man than I.

Also, you probably don't have that nasty Dinty Moore rash problem.

turtle10 42,578 26
07/29/2010 02:10 PM

I once peed for a minute and twenty-seven seconds straight. I don't know if that's long or normal

Declan McManus Original since 2010 131,891 36
07/29/2010 02:15 PM

You are a freak, and will die soon.

turtle10 42,578 26
07/29/2010 02:17 PM

Declan, that can apply to pretty much most everyone that posts here.

Midgets 96,151 48
07/29/2010 02:30 PM

You are a freak, and will die soon.

Said the overweight homosexual, a group well known for their long bland lives.

Randall Cleveland 49,019 14
07/29/2010 04:38 PM

Earth is the only planet not named after a god.

Not true. Earth is the only planet in this solar system not named after a god, but there are plenty of exosolar planets being discovered and given funky names like TrES-2.

Jeeni 47,815 51
07/29/2010 04:40 PM

TrES-2

This isn't a joke relating to a certain gabber's genitalia, is it?

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
07/29/2010 04:42 PM

True fact: Randall Cleveland is a bigger nerd than Nutbutter.

Jeeni 47,815 51
07/29/2010 04:44 PM

TrES

Oh Shakespeare. That's spelled completely different in my mind. Just ignore me.

BisectYouAll 5,200 15
07/29/2010 05:09 PM

To overcome objection, tear out the adam's apple of the objector with a staple remover. But, make sure the staple remover has been washed thoroughly in rubbing alcohol, to decrease the risk of infection. Any of you who have seen the movie, 28 Days Later will certainly understand how dangerous infection can be.

Madness 4,366 10
07/29/2010 06:05 PM

Honey is the only food that does not spoil

I'm inclined to believe this after I saw that a box of salt in my kitchen had a best before date.
How the Frost does salt expire?

ker-PRAM! 80,728 42
07/29/2010 06:57 PM

Pure salt (NaCl) is a mineral and providing it doesn't get contaminated (eg with iron from stainless steel) it'll keep for thousands of years.

ker-PRAM! 80,728 42
07/29/2010 07:00 PM

Whoops, that was useful information. Let me try again:

A duckbilled platypus has a bill like a duck, but it's furry.

Madness 4,366 10
07/29/2010 08:53 PM

Pure salt (NaCl) is a mineral and providing it doesn't get contaminated (eg with iron from stainless steel) it'll keep for thousands of years.


I had just assumed that 07/12 meant July of 2012, but I must have been wrong and it actually means July of the year 12000. Thanks Pram!

ker-PRAM! 80,728 42
07/29/2010 09:30 PM

No, that's a born-on date.

...where the hell did you buy that salt?!

Madness 4,366 10
07/29/2010 09:52 PM

...where the hell did you buy that salt?!

LeVar Burton's House O' Fixins

siv9939 13,642 16
07/30/2010 01:05 AM

A duckbilled platypus has a bill like a duck, but it's furry.

Platypus can be pluralized as "platypi" or "platypuses." Although all platypi have ankle spurs, only the males' can produce venom.

Under a steel support beam 101,398 77
07/30/2010 06:50 AM

You know this picture?



I only realized it two days ago, but the last word shouldn't be pronounced "horse" but like "whores."

I told Dan and he laughed at me. So I told Diana, and she said I was hilarious.

I wasn't joking. I am just that stupid.

Ravos15 63,472 21
07/30/2010 07:27 AM

THIS is an attention horse.

Jeeni 47,815 51
07/30/2010 07:34 AM

This may be a more effective link. Not only does it play, it repeats. (NSFW)

(Sorry Ravos... I'm not trying to be an attention horse myself.)

Ravos15 63,472 21
07/30/2010 07:36 AM

I know, I was too lazy to actually look for that though.

And for not trying, you're doing a pretty good job.

Jeeni 47,815 51
07/30/2010 07:51 AM

Wanna try my lemonade?

Fratberry 283,051 53
07/30/2010 08:12 AM

I don't actually own any cats. I lease them.

Jeeni 47,815 51
07/30/2010 08:43 AM

Are the fleas leased too?

Ravos15 63,472 21
07/30/2010 08:44 AM

Wanna try my lemonade?

Are you coming on to me?

Declan McManus Original since 2010 131,891 36
07/30/2010 05:48 PM

One hour of graduate tuition at the academy of my choice is only slightly less that the price of a new Vita-Mix blender. Or half the price of a Miele vacuum cleaner (Callisto model).

ker-PRAM! 80,728 42
07/30/2010 06:20 PM

My penis weighs 6oz when erect. I didn't weigh it when it was soft, because it's never soft.

ker-PRAM! 80,728 42
07/30/2010 06:21 PM

Whoops, I had that backwards.

My penis weighs 6oz when soft. I never weigh it when it's erect, because it's never erect.

Stupid dyslexia.

...Phla? 131,068 34
07/30/2010 08:36 PM

Thanks for clearing that up because now it's... Nope. Still not funny.

ker-PRAM! 80,728 42
07/30/2010 10:46 PM

Midsummer was thought to be a time of magic, when evil spirits were said to appear.

Manhole VS Gravity 21,658 29
07/30/2010 11:42 PM

Other useless information: My first album, Desperate Times, has been released!

I like the first one Pram. Reminds me of Nirvana in a way. Where can I find the torrent?

Jeeni 47,815 51
07/30/2010 11:54 PM

Goats are often used as companion animals to keep a horse calm. Someone wanting to fix a race would slip into the barn the night before the race steal the goat, then an upset and distracted horse would run a bad race.

Hence, if you are upset and not at your best, it is said that 'someone has gotten your goat.'

ker-PRAM! 80,728 42
07/31/2010 11:05 AM

I like the first one Pram. Reminds me of Nirvana in a way. Where can I find the torrent?

Thanks, you greedy bastard you greedy Emerson you greedy Froster. There's no torrent, but yesterday you could have downloaded the damn album for free because I was stupid and forgot to set a price other than $0.00.

ker-PRAM! 80,728 42
07/31/2010 11:09 AM

I don't actually think you're greedy, but I do want to elbow-rape you for using the T-word around someone who can't even sell one copy.

Declan McManus Original since 2010 131,891 36
07/31/2010 02:39 PM

I think you're actually Lars Ulrich. You sure sound like him, in more ways than one.