Professor Nutbutter 181,220 34
07/29/2010 02:26 PM

What do you mean bad daddy? Are you new at this or something? About once a week I purposely almost drown, run over, stab or otherwise kill my son just so he grows up knowing that if I really wanted to, I could end his life.

Really helps with the discipline. Not so much with the night terrors.

Midgets 93,936 47
07/29/2010 02:26 PM

You just saved a three dollar pool admission fee.

You're not bad, you're frugal!

Space Admiral BobJohnson 177,873 22
07/29/2010 02:44 PM

Whistler: "I have some good news and some bad news about our daughter."

Whistlette: "Let's have the good news first, dear."

Whistler: "She wasn't a witch."

KChikita - OMG Bananas! 124,281 89 hits Whistler with a rolled up newspaper.
07/29/2010 02:45 PM

BAD DADDY! BAD! BAD!

PacificPhi - Healing Nicely 1,860 6
07/29/2010 03:14 PM

It's cool until the bubbles stop.

ker-PRAM! 78,171 40
07/29/2010 04:19 PM

Really helps with the discipline. Not so much with the night terrors.

Or future appearances on Maury Povich?

Disco Bob 4,322 8
07/29/2010 05:16 PM

At least Lobsters dad always paid attention to her when she was in the tub.

Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
07/29/2010 05:23 PM

I seem to be raising all my children differently. For the first one, I was over-controlling, perfectionistic and demanding. He's about to finish his B.S. degree, completing the four year program in 26 months. He's a neurotic, overachieving supernerd. For the second one, I determined to be relaxed and let him express himself as he saw fit. He's extremely creative, artistic and musical. Right now, he's on vacation, sailing in the Mediterranean off the coast of Sardinia. Then he's going to Paris for a week. Without either of his parents. We haven't heard from him in two weeks, but we're not worried and we're sure that he's not worried. He's the most relaxed, easy going, adaptable guy you'll ever meet. He'll probably never work a day in his life.

My brother just turned 50, and is the first male in our family history to live that long. I was 46 when my daughter was born. In all liklihood, I won't live to see how she turns out. So I pretty much let her run amok.

Cinderblock 27,522 24
07/29/2010 06:45 PM

It doesn't matter how you raise her. When you die, she'll end up in a home with all the other retard babies who can't speak anyway.

OH MY GOD, WHY DID I JUST SAY THAT?

Declan McManus Original since 2010 130,657 34
07/29/2010 09:49 PM

I am grateful that you did not slaughter my youngest niece.

Whistler P. McManus 183,262 42
07/30/2010 12:14 AM

she'll end up in a home with all the other retard babies who can't speak


Maybe you missed the part where she said, "Daddy, I'm swimming?"












Even if it did sound more like "Daddy uh fwemuh."

Ravos15 62,361 20
07/30/2010 07:32 AM

At least Lobsters dad always paid attention to her when she was in the tub.

Curse you, airplane food and preventing me from making this joke first.

Cinderblock 27,522 24
07/30/2010 05:14 PM

No, I was mostly focused on the part where you left her in a tub of running water. I'm glad she can talk, though. I'm sure it puts your wife's mind at ease. She should be worrying about other things, like you giving the baby a bath.

Heh.

Under a steel support beam 99,723 76
07/31/2010 01:20 AM

;;;;)))))) eeeeeeee! lololol. omigodz.

Under a steel support beam 99,723 76
07/31/2010 02:15 AM

Um, let this serve as a warning that you should never allow other people to use your computer at a ZUG event while your account is still logged in.