Mr. Mike 11,234 21
09/01/2010 03:56 PM

I still maintain the best way to get a raise is for them to get down on their knees and earn that raise!

Then again, I was a boss once. DAMN I miss that job!

Chix - Ahh, screw it. 282,028 58
09/01/2010 04:02 PM

So basically
1. Clean your cooch just in case negotiations get tough.


I'm thinking gargling would take care of the problem.

panda plain and tall 181,271 70
09/01/2010 04:04 PM

I asked for a raise recently, and I totally didn't douche that day. I did, however, use mouthwash. I'm HR, afterall.

Mr. Mike 11,234 21
09/01/2010 04:28 PM

I did, however, use mouthwash. I'm HR, afterall.

Did you use this mouthwash before or after you gargled his children?

panda plain and tall 181,271 70
09/01/2010 04:33 PM

Yes.

Shell Belle 76,640 24
09/01/2010 07:42 PM

Employee: I'm here to ask for a raise. I work very hard and think I deserve it.
Boss: Your work is good. I'd be inclined to give you that raise, but..
Employee: But what?
Boss: Do you smell that?
Employee: Smell what? I don't smell anything.
Boss: Well, I do. Someone in this room has that "not so fresh feeling" and it isn't me.
Employee: Ummm...
Boss: I'm not going to give you that raise. You have the nerve to come in here asking for a raise without douching first? That shows a real lack of motivation. I'm not sure you have a future with this company.

Jeeni is bewitched! 43,386 49
09/01/2010 08:04 PM

Employee: That's why I need a raise! I can't afford douche with the peanuts you pay me with.

Fuck me!! It's Jesus + Socks 4,198 12
09/02/2010 06:05 AM

It's on the tip of my tongue..

Jeeni is bewitched! 43,386 49
09/02/2010 08:07 AM

What is, Dave? The douche?

Dogs Akimbo 205,285 31
09/02/2010 08:23 AM

If they douched at my company, two-thirds of upper management would disappear.

Dogs Akimbo 205,285 31
09/02/2010 08:24 AM

The other third would require an enema to get rid of.

Popanator 1,144 4
09/06/2010 10:36 PM

But I love my fishy smell. It makes me hungry for tuna!