Spicey McHaggis 117,791 37
09/07/2010 05:23 PM

Just this once, I wish that I had your job.

Jeeni is bewitched! 47,815 51
09/07/2010 05:24 PM

Are you going to pack meals or are you simultaneously going on a 24 hour fast?
/serious>

When one of the experts asks you if you need any help, tell them you are waiting for Steve Jobs to help you personally.

Jeeni is bewitched! 47,815 51
09/07/2010 05:25 PM

Mung, are you going to harass Bayan while he's in NYC?

Jeeni is bewitched! 47,815 51
09/07/2010 05:32 PM

Uhm... I mean...

Mung, are you going to stop by and offer support for Bayan while he's in NYC?

KChiki - Owner of a Lonely Heart 128,446 98
09/07/2010 05:33 PM

My first question was "Do they sell food at that particular Apple store, or are you enlisting the help of someone that will sneak in consumable items to you?" but Jeeni beat me to it.

Also, I completely agree that Mung should harass you during your stint.

Idea: See what games they have installed on the iPhone 4's or iPads and beat the high score for each one.

Bayan Rabbani 2,826 14
09/07/2010 05:35 PM

@ Spicy - It's not all fun and games. Actually, yes it is.

@ Jeeni - I'm going to have to eat. What I eat, will depend on whether ipod cables or protective screens are cheaper.

Bayan Rabbani 2,826 14
09/07/2010 05:37 PM

@KChiki - If Mung shows up, it will be I who is harassing him. Though I suppose if he comes in the later hours when I'm all loopy and delirious, he could probably beat the crap out of me with an iPad and I wouldn't care.

siv9939 13,642 16
09/07/2010 05:52 PM

Take a pony with you.

Offer and/ or ask people for piggy bag rides.

MungChamp 35,891 35
09/07/2010 06:10 PM

Take all of the online appointments for the day with the Genius's.

When you meet with each one, ask them trivial pursuit questions and the one that answers the most correct will be given an award signifying true Genius. The loser will get a dunce cap, an award and will forever be berated by his / her coworkers.


Also...watch your back.

Thud 68,525 19
09/07/2010 07:24 PM

Go to each demo machine in the store. Spend some time trying to perform actions using Windows XP shortcuts. Complain (suggest you do so by email) when your shortcuts fail. Mutter about Dell often.

Whistler P. McManus 186,133 44
09/07/2010 07:36 PM

I might be able to stop by as well, but it would be between midnight Sunday and 7:00 Monday morning. Let me know if I can be of any help. You don't play the fiddle, banjo or mandolin by any chance, do you?

Bayan Rabbani 2,826 14
09/07/2010 07:47 PM

@ Whistler - No, but my triangle skills are unrivaled.

Dianerda 57,835 109
09/07/2010 07:50 PM

This is almost like a regular gabtogether! I'm only about 3 hours away, I should drive down and make Whistler buy me midnight dinner!

...Phla? 131,068 34
09/07/2010 08:38 PM

Wear a colored shirt like they do and offer unsolicited advice. And/or dress like John "PC" Hodgman and get all indignant at their overpriced gadgety crap.

Also, you called us a creative brunch. I'm fattered.

The Mailman 176,467 56
09/07/2010 08:38 PM

I'm going to have to eat. What I eat, will depend on whether ipod cables or protective screens are cheaper.

Pack some fresh apples for when you get hungry during the stunt. Each time you take one out of your bag, proceed as such:
1.) Take a big first bite
2.) Look at your apple lovingly, compare it to the Apple logo and sigh happily
3.) Eat the rest of the apple.

Declan McManus Original since 2010 131,891 36
09/07/2010 10:25 PM

Whatever you do, don't buy an iBook. I've only seen them in white. Only Fascists have white computers.

Future Druggist 2,533 11
09/07/2010 10:37 PM

bring along vinyl decals that use the apple logo on the tops for some the demo i-items.

Like this one.

John Hargrave 128,751 73
09/08/2010 10:46 AM

I think he should leave apples all over the store with a bite taken out of them.

Robb Posch 1,385 14
09/08/2010 05:19 PM

Pick up an iPhone, and attempt to make a five minute call without having it dropped.

Xodiac 202 5
09/08/2010 08:38 PM

Ask where their XBox 360 games section is. And their Zunes.

And if you won't fight a rhinoceros, what about riding a pony?

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
09/08/2010 08:40 PM

Get a bunch of little stickers of the Pi symbol and stick them next to the Apple logos. Tell people you're making "Apple Pi" and then laugh hysterically.

panicBoy 313 9
09/09/2010 06:39 AM

All you people lack vision and shameless whorishness.

IDEA: Set all the browsers' homepages on all the display computers to ZUG.com

Dinomyar 266 8
09/09/2010 02:28 PM

Some Suggestions

Wear a shirt with a Microsoft logo on it.
Walk around with a Zune in your hands.
Set you phone's ringtone to the Windows sound. Have someone call it every few minutes.
Set all the computers browsers to MSN.com, or Microsoft.com, but switch them to Zug.com before you leave.
Create a Twitter account and set all the computers to follow it. Tweet things about the people looking at the systems. (Like - "Get a look at that hipster douche looking at the new G4"). See if they realize the tweets are about them.

I like the bitten apple suggestion also.

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,048 22
09/09/2010 03:11 PM

The thing I'm never prepared for when I go to the Apple store is when they ask me "Do you want your receipt emailed, printed, or both?" I always stammer for a couple of seconds while I debate whether it would be less embarrassing to admit that I don't care about the environment in front of a genius or admit that my email address is prettyponies@flamboyant.com.

Anyway, I think you should make dozens of little purchases throughout the day and request emailed receipts for each one. In unrelated news, the maximum number of characters in an email address is 320 (65 before the @).

It's Marmite, FFS... 12,955 12
09/09/2010 03:55 PM

Take a Windows laptop in, with the CRAPPIEST home-made Apple logo sticker put on, preferably done in crayon, put on wonky.

Then take it up to the customer service desk and whine that your [insert faggy Apple Mac app] doesn't work and that Safari has uninstalled itself and you have a thing that says EEN-TEH-NET IGS-PLOR-AH on it. Say you think you must have got a virus on your 'Mac'....

turtle: no longer explosive 42,578 26
09/09/2010 04:07 PM

Walk around the store holding an iPod touch to your ear and yell "Can you hear me now" into. Complain about the not having any service anywhere. Demand they fix it.

Oh...and wear a black turtle neck and mom jeans

amazonchic 7 8
09/09/2010 11:08 PM

Do one of the other Zug pranks...screw up all the monitors by using ctrl+alt+arrow. I bet the "Genius"'s won't even know what hit them. Also, I always keep my fart spray with me when I know I'm going to be in public. You can have them thinking there's a gas leak in no time at all. It works especially well in congested areas on a hot summer's day. Is the weather in NYC predicted to be in the high 90's next week?

Also, can you pretend you have Turret's?

Thud 68,525 19
09/09/2010 11:19 PM

Also, can you pretend you have Turret's?

With cannon or machine guns?

Future Druggist 2,533 11
09/09/2010 11:29 PM

screw up all the monitors by using ctrl+alt+arrow
I think that only works on windows computers

Here is a 350 word email:
contact-admin-hello-webmaster-info-services-peter-crazy-but-oh-so-ubbe r-cool-english-alphabet-loverer-abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz@please-try- to.send-me-an-email-if-you-can-possibly-begin-to-remember-this-coz.thi s-is-the-longest-email-address-known-to-man-but-to-be-honest.this-is-s uch-a-stupidly-long-sub-domain-it-could-go-on-forever.pacraig.com

icemanwol 18 4
09/10/2010 06:29 PM

Bring in a P-P-P Powerbook and ask the genius bar how to install windows on it.

Whistler P. McManus 186,133 44
09/11/2010 12:58 AM

Given the date, and Bayan's name and ethnic background, I think he may have picked a bad day to fly into NYC. I hope he recovers from the full cavity search in time for the stunt.

Mr Samsa 88 5
09/11/2010 07:54 PM

Bring in a Fixie tell them they lack adequate parking for your "vintage" bike, also request multipe connectors that dont exsist for antiquated videogames (an atari connector for your mac, etc)... extra points if you can find an apple ii to bring an, and ask them to repair it because you never finished zork and you want to see how it ends

bosscool 8 5
09/12/2010 01:50 PM

don't shave then wear a Black Mock Neck shirt and a pair of Crappy jeans like steve jobs or better go to a make up artist to change your look like Bill Gates!!