Twenty-four consecutive hours in an Apple Store: a hipster's dream come true.
Sadly, I'm about as hip as a 70-year-old trombonist.
After spending 24 hours in Walmart, Starbucks, and 24 Hour Fitness, tweeting my experiences from my iPhone as they happened, I realized I should pay homage to the device I was using to do the tweeting.
I decided my next 24 hour endurance challenge would be from an Apple Store. And not just any Apple Store, but the flagship Apple Store in Manhattan: the busiest, and only, 24-hour Apple Store in the world.
"The Big Apple ... in the Big Apple"
I left my friend's apartment at about 11:40 p.m., walking through Times Square in a light, drizzling rain. At exactly midnight, I rode the escalator down into the Apple Store, and began my 24 hour marathon. Here's what happened, tweet by tweet.
LET 24 HOURS IN THE APPLE STORE BEGIN! http://bit.ly/cV4QZx 11:08 PM Sep 12th via TweetDeck
The first thing I planned to talk to them about was the lack of a flash on my iPhone camera, which results in underexposed photos like this one. Unfortunately, there was a long wait at the Genius Bar. At midnight. On a Monday. That gives you some idea how busy this place is.
IT'S ALMOST 1AM!!! GO HOME! IT'S PAST EVERYONE'S BEDTIME! WHY ARE YOU HERE?!?!?!? http://bit.ly/9UUMBU 11:48 PM Sep 12th via TweetDeck
I really couldn't believe that at one in the morning, people were waiting in line to get their computers, iPods, and iPhones fixed. An employee had told me that in the early morning, there are fewer people in the store, so you are seen faster. THIS was less people? Only one explanation: vampires.
Just for kids... psshh... suckers. Wait... how do I use one of these...? :/ http://bit.ly/cp7vyH http://bit.ly/afLVK9 12:23 AM Sep 13th via TweetDeck
Although I am a "writer," I don't use an Apple product for my "writing." Every time I use a Mac, I find myself frustrated: where's the right click button?
Next time I spend 24 hours in an apple store, don't let me party in NYC 3 nights in a row on the nights before. I'm freaking exhausted. 1:58 AM Sep 13th via TweetDeck
This was my most difficult endurance challenge so far, as my friends and I had been out on the town for 36 hours beforehand. It was bad.
Doesn't this guy have a table at home he can use? I think I'll make friends with him. Mon Sep 13 2010 03:48:06 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
At 4:00 a.m., he was one of three people in the store (including me). I asked him what he was up to. "Browsing the web," he responded, after looking very startled and clicking on his computer quickly. Maybe he was doing top-secret research. On breasts.
It's 4:30 and I'm starting to get hungry. There's a street vendor right outside... too bad I can't leave the store... http://bit.ly/cS256X Mon Sep 13 2010 04:34:24 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
I was so tempted to go outside and grab a quick bite to eat. But when I commit to insanity, I commit 100%. I would not go out of the store, even if I were starving, even if it were on fire, even if Jerry Springer was outside the store.
I bet I could pass out on this bench and no one would notice. Or maybe... underneath it. http://bit.ly/9i8QcS Mon Sep 13 2010 04:49:49 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
About 30 seconds. That's how long I lasted before one of the employees barked at me to get out from under the bench, claiming that I could get hurt. Hurt? It's a bench. Maybe I wasn't the delirious one.
My three best friends. I dare not use them (yet). http://bit.ly/ajirod Nevermind, one is gone. ENERGY!! POWER!! HANDSTANDS!! CEMENT!! Mon Sep 13 2010 05:38:42 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
I downed one of them right before tweeting this, and by the time the tweet was submitted, I already felt the rush of sweet, pomegranate-flavored adrenaline surging through my veins.
Everyone wants to know what I'm going to eat while I'm here. The answer? All this apple flavored stuff I bought: http://bit.ly/cHsyyr Mon Sep 13 2010 06:55:01 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
I was on a strict apple diet: everything I ate throughout the day must have apple as a primary ingredient. Whenever a curious customer or employee would ask me what I was eating for my 24 hour challenge, I would open my messenger bag and show them my stash of apple foodstuffs. They would be impressed. I would be mildly nauseated.
To point out, yes, there is apple flavored baby food. Three brands. One is organic. This should be interesting later. http://bit.ly/9zJYZC Mon Sep 13 2010 08:14:24 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
I hadn't had baby food in at least two years. Time to reintroduce my palate to the joy of liquified food: no pesky chewing, just pure tasting pleasure.
Almost 100% sure Jerry Springer is being interviewed on The Early Show outside the Apple Store. I could be wrong. http://bit.ly/cUEMLt Mon Sep 13 2010 08:33:00 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
I was standing near the entrance, then looked to my right to see a man I thought was Jerry Springer. A few moments later, the security guard standing nearby confirmed that it was indeed Jerry Springer. I was just relieved that I wasn't hallucinating talk show hosts.
Breakfast of champions: apple cinnamon rice cakes in the bathroom. Deliciously disgusting. http://bit.ly/c40ssj Mon Sep 13 2010 08:58:50 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
Don't buy these. Not even for feeding to animals. Unless you really hate animals.
How'd people operate their Apple products before the Genius Bar existed? Either they didn't or we're becoming dumber/lazier as a society. Mon Sep 13 2010 10:02:21 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
Apple products are supposed to be easy to use, right? Then how come it takes a Genius Bar to help people with problems? Shouldn't it be the "Idiot Bar," or at the very least, the "Average IQ Bar"?
I'm just gonna leave this here and watch to see if anyone notices... http://bit.ly/denPS2 Mon Sep 13 2010 11:01:09 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
Stand back while I rebus-ize your ass.
A girl noticed and laughed. Unfortunately, she declined my invitation to wed me. Mon Sep 13 2010 11:32:45 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
I was perched nearby like a hawk, watching and waiting patiently for someone to notice. A girl probably in her mid-20s started laughing when she saw it and then looked around only to find me standing within an inch of her face. The conversation went like this:
Me: Hey, you like that?
Her: Yeah, that's funny.
Me: Well, you know I've been in this store for almost twelve hours, and I'll have twelve more after that.
Her: *confused*
Me: I'll just excuse myself unless you feel like you want to get married or something.
Her: Um, what?
Me: Too soon? -- THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!
Her: *even more confused*
Me: I'm just gonna go.
Then I walked away to play with an iPad. For some reason, she didn't come after me.
Halfway done with 24 hours in the Apple Store! http://bit.ly/b9pRRN Mon Sep 13 2010 12:08:26 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
Rather proud of myself when noon rolled around, seeing as how most people bet that I would be dead/dying before sunrise.
I thought the first half of my 24 hour experiment was bad -- but it was the back half, my friends, that nearly killed me.
Please continue to Part 2: The Dark Side of the Apple!
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