I was spending 24 hours in the Apple store in NYC [read Part 1 here], living only on apple-flavored products and pomegranate-flavored energy shots. Here's part 2 of my fruit salad from Hell.
My lunch consisted of crispy apple (granny smith) chips and the air around me. http://bit.ly/9ZmSXD Mon Sep 13 2010 12:19:26 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
These were pretty good; tart, crisp, fresh. I enjoyed them. Unlike the air, which was stale and humid from the sweat of hipster nerds.
It makes me sad that I'm running low on delicious juice :'( http://bit.ly/cIx8pC Mon Sep 13 2010 13:23:22 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
One of my biggest mistakes was forgetting to ration my apple juice properly; rookie move on my part. I realized afterwards that I went 24 hours without a drop of water -- just apple juice.
Ballsy. http://bit.ly/9jhWMo Mon Sep 13 2010 14:40:25 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
This dude was just sitting there with his HP laptop like it was nobody's business. I envied his testicular fortitude.
FYI: Asking the Genius Bar to turn my old CRT monitor into "one of them fancy iMacs with the computer in the screen" is a bad idea. Mon Sep 13 2010 14:43:29 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
Miraculously, there were a few minutes at the Genius Bar where one of the employees was not helping a customer. I sat down in the chair and asked in a thick Texan accent, "Is it possible for you to turn my old CRT monitor into one of them fancy iMacs with the computer in the screen?" He looked at me like I had just told him his parents died in a fiery car crash, with their dying words being that he was actually born a girl.
He wasn't even shocked at my ignorance; he was truly offended by me asking him that. At least, that's what I gathered from his response of, "Honestly, I'm truly offended by you asking me that."
Idk WTF "Gluten" is but these taste like suffering. Put the gluten back please. I ate two. http://bit.ly/9zy2In Mon Sep 13 2010 15:18:32 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
I actually do know what gluten is now, thanks to Wikipedia. Everything tastes better with gluten. End of discussion.
I picked a random computer to use iChat with and videoed the last person on the buddy list. Just my luck, someone was at the comp I called. Mon Sep 13 2010 16:03:12 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
We chatted and I told her what I'm doing in the store. Here are pics: http://bit.ly/c7yEn8 http://bit.ly/9Ep3xv http://bit.ly/9SaRbY Mon Sep 13 2010 16:04:52 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
This was incredible. I couldn't believe my luck that someone was at the computer that I called, and accepted my invitation to chat. After a few minutes of chatting and messing around with the iChat settings, her computer crashed. I went to find her and she found me first. We're solid Facebook friends now.
You can put "i" in front of any word and it sounds better. Try it out for yourself. Some examples: iBall. iToast. iRecession. iGonorrhea. Mon Sep 13 2010 16:50:06 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
iI'm iTelling iYou. iIt iTotally iWorks.
Idk about you, but I fail to see the resemblance. Maybe I'm hallucinating? http://bit.ly/bgtftw Mon Sep 13 2010 18:29:40 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
Barbie? I think not. I had to take the picture quickly for fear that he (she?) would invite me to spend some time with him (her?) in his (her?) dream house.
If I didn't have ADD before, I definitely do now after almost 20 hours in this place. Mon Sep 13 2010 19:47:59 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
Being in an Apple store, even for an hour, is ridiculous: all these noises, lights, sounds, all the time, from every direction. It's impossible to, brb, gonna do some pushups. Hey, look! An elf!
This is Mr. Turtle. He is my bestest friend ;) Please institutionalize me straight away. :/ http://bit.ly/9hw5Kc Mon Sep 13 2010 20:23:16 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
I knew I'd make friends in there.
Why have customers and employees been calling me "Steve Jobs" for the last several hours? Oh, this: http://bit.ly/9ziTKd Mon Sep 13 2010 20:25:32 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
For the last four hours of my sentence, customers and employees were pointing at me and laughing, because they recognized me to be Steve Jobs straight away. A lot of them took pictures; they should be on the internet somewhere. I think I do resemble Mr. Jobs, minus the fortune and post-cancer trauma.
WARNING: NSFW (hair). I present: The Enchanted Forest of Narnia http://bit.ly/9M2ZKm Mon Sep 13 2010 21:22:05 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
This was so nasty that I nearly shat myself out of my belly button.
And for dessert after dinner: Apple baby food http://bit.ly/98F9UY Delicious... http://bit.ly/arKNS4 More please... http://bit.ly/bUIgds Mon Sep 13 2010 22:22:55 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
By this point, I was also thinking about wearing a diaper.
Heard from a source that this store employs 600 people. I believe it. Then again I also believe I'll wake in 5min and this will be a dream. Mon Sep 13 2010 22:39:19 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
Less than an hour and a half to go, and I was completely delirious. I drank my second five-hour energy shot a few hours prior, and it didn't do anything. I had developed a resistance to energy drinks.
Try as I might, I can't seem to jailbreak this iMac. I think I'm doing it wrong. http://bit.ly/a3jQsw http://bit.ly/bTFq7o Mon Sep 13 2010 22:48:55 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
I don't know much about technology.
Dude watching Japanese anime (maybe hentai?) in the Apple Store... I uh... what? http://twitpic.com/2o8msm Mon Sep 13 2010 22:58:16 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
Not gonna lie. I stood there for a few minutes and watched it with him. We discussed anime for a while (from an intellectual standpoint of course), and then went our separate ways, dreaming of tentacles.
The man, the legend... standing next to an image of Steve Jobs. http://bit.ly/cP7vrk Mon Sep 13 2010 23:09:36 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
At least I have a Halloween costume now.
Mmmm the last godforsaken apple thing I'm eating in the apple store, a caramel apple. http://bit.ly/cRucGu Mon Sep 13 2010 23:46:08 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
Without a doubt, the best tasting apple thing I ate during my 24 hours.
IT'S OVER! 24 HOURS IN THE APPLE STORE: COMPLETED! http://bit.ly/9YQLlX Tue Sep 14 2010 00:00:36 (Eastern Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
And yet, MY IPHONE STILL DOESN'T HAVE A FLASH!
As I left the store, tears of joy were streaming from my eyes as I saw the street vendor across the way. I rushed over to him, only to find I had no cash in my wallet. FML.
Throughout the day, I asked several employees to convince me to switch from PCs to Macs, and they did a pretty good job. It was mostly all gypsy/hipster talk, but it did the trick. Many of them even admitted to owning PCs.
In between tweets, I usually rested somewhere. There was always a place to sit. I try my best to stay awake during these stunts, but I actually did fall asleep this time, for roughly 20 minutes. On the toilet. Yes, right on the toilet.
I had a great time with this stunt. Thanks to ZUG users Mailman, Nutbutter, PanicBoy, Dinomyar, Turtle, and Bosscool for the ideas. I'm strongly considering purchasing a Macbook Pro so I can be a cliche by going to coffee shops and working on my screenplays.
I'll need a scarf, though. Definitely a scarf.
Bayan Rabbani is a writer, comedian, and endurance artist who writes for ZUG.com and Twitter. Check out more of his 24 hour stunts below.
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