Whistler P. McManus 186,133 44
09/17/2010 10:42 PM

He came home about 15 years and 25 times too late for this crowd. Sorry.

Drewcifer aka JackyMaille 46,366 58
09/17/2010 10:44 PM

What's black and blue and hates sex?

The 4-year old in my trunk.

Dasypygal 14,811 17
09/17/2010 10:58 PM

He came home about 15 years and 25 times too late for this crowd.

Surprisingly, I had not heard that one before.

My husband is much younger than I am and I still giggle at his silly jokes... surprisingly.

Dementia can be a beautiful thing.

siv9939 13,642 16
09/18/2010 01:16 AM

I apologies for not being able to think of a creepier joke, but:

What's the difference between Jews and pizzas?


Pizzas don't scream when you put them in an oven.

Pubah, Pillock of the Peephole 56,851 18 Throws Drewcifer on the Grenade
09/18/2010 11:29 AM

Young lady asks her dad for the car keys.
Dad says, "You'll have to suck my dick to get my car".
Young lady says okay and gets to work.

After a few minutes, Young lady says, "Dad, your dick tastes like Shakespeare".

Dad replies, "Oh yea, your brother has the car".

Oldie but baddie

MungChamp 35,891 35
09/18/2010 11:41 AM

Guy takes his wife to the Doctor...

The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimer's disease or AIDS."

"What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?"

"Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't Frost her."

Pram 80,728 42
09/18/2010 11:55 AM

I bet I can make the first joke creepier...

News reporter: "According to his father, Kyron was always afraid to go into a dark forest."

Terri Horman: "You think he had it bad? I had to walk out of it alone! Oh Shakespeare, the tape isn't running, is it? That was off the record."

The Mailman 176,467 56
09/18/2010 11:57 AM

Q: What did the zero say to the eight?
A: Nice belt! Now come get the candy in my pocket.

Dogs Akimbo 211,626 32
09/18/2010 01:01 PM

Why did the ZuGger cross the road?


Because his dick was stuck in the chicken.

Madness 4,366 10
09/18/2010 02:45 PM

A gay couple breaks up, which one has to move out of the house?




The one on the bottom, his Shakespeare's already packed.

MungChamp 35,891 35
09/18/2010 02:50 PM

What's the best part about Frost-ing a 5 year old?




Watching them crumble on the witness stand.

Drewcifer aka JackyMaille 46,366 58
09/18/2010 05:12 PM

Guy walks into the bedroom where is wife is, holding a sheep tucked under his arm.
He says, "Honey, this is the pig I Frost when you have a headache." Wife says, "You idiot, that's a sheep." Guy says, "I wasn't talking to you."

KChiki - Justified TGNP 128,446 98
09/18/2010 06:37 PM

A little girl and her mother were walking through the park one day when they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.

The little girl says, "Mommy, what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Ummm...they're making cakes!"

The next day they're at the zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "They're making cakes."

The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mommy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the living room last night, weren't you?" Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know that?"

She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."

Nachos 57,521 23
09/18/2010 07:13 PM

Better the icing than the chocolate fondant.

Drewcifer aka JackyMaille 46,366 58
09/18/2010 07:43 PM

What's the difference between an expensive dinner and a violent rape?

I'll tell you about it over dinner sometime.

Jesus Sandals + Socks 4,199 12
09/19/2010 02:52 PM

Why do German showerheads have 11 holes?

Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

Jesus Sandals + Socks 4,199 12
09/19/2010 02:56 PM

Why wouldn't Eva Braun give Hitler a blowjob?

Because he always left a nazi taste in her mouth.

Drewcifer aka JackyMaille 46,366 58
09/19/2010 03:30 PM

Whats the best thing about getting a blowjob from an Ethiopian woman?

You know she will swallow.

Jesus Sandals + Socks 4,199 12
09/19/2010 05:22 PM

Don't think I'd ever want to stick my Coleridge into something that hungry.

Shemple Of the Dog 22,222 17
09/19/2010 05:31 PM

A Priest and a Rabbi were walking down the street when they passed by a little boy bent over tying his shoe.

The Priest turned to the Rabbi and said "Lets Frost him!"

The Rabbi looked at the Priest and said "Out of what?"

Shemple Of the Dog 22,222 17
09/19/2010 05:38 PM

Q: What's the worst thing about eating bald Poe?

A: Putting the diaper back on.

Jesus Sandals + Socks 4,199 12
09/19/2010 06:06 PM

Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?

You would too if your name was Duuhhhhh..

schrepjm 5 5
09/23/2010 12:48 PM

What's the best part about Frost-ing twenty eight year olds?

There's twenty of 'em.

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,048 22
09/23/2010 01:12 PM

Q: Why don't people like jokes about Jonestown?

A: The punch lines are too long.