Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
10/22/2010 12:43 PM

Adding broken glass or Hepatitis-tainted blood to any standard recipe can always help to up the wackiness factor.

KChiki - OMG I GLOW IN TEH DARK!!! 128,446 98
10/22/2010 12:43 PM

Difficulty: No lavender.

DAMMIT!

FratbOOry 283,051 53
10/22/2010 01:15 PM

Anything, including a fruit plate from hell, involving Durian.

overachieving at underachieving 1,970 6
10/22/2010 03:19 PM

ELEPHANT SOUP
1 elephant
Salt and pepper
2 rabbits (optional)
Cut elephant into bite-size pieces. This should take about 2 months. Add enough brown gravy to cover. Cook over kerosene fire for 4 weeks at 465 degrees. This will serve 3, 800 people. If more are expected, 2 rabbits may be added, but do this only if necessary as most people do not like to find a hare in their soup.

SIV9939 Days Later 13,642 16
10/22/2010 04:54 PM

Homemade Jam Sandwich

Take two peaces of bread and jam them together. Enjoy.

Drewcifer aka JackyMaille 46,366 58
10/22/2010 05:06 PM

Where's Popanator when you need her?

Jeeni is Bewitched! 47,815 51
10/23/2010 05:14 AM

Spicey, I think the underachiever nailed it. I'd personally be very disappointed in you if you didn't at least try to submit that recipe. It's genius.

Spicey McHaggis 117,791 37
10/23/2010 08:59 AM

The scary thing is that when they sent out the e-mail asking for recipes, the example they gave to show us the format they wanted the recipes in was the Elephant Stew recipe. It was exactly as the Underachiever posted.

So now I'm wondering which of my coworkers overachieves at underachieving.


That doesn't narrow the list down much.

Jack O'CyberLantern 917 8
10/24/2010 07:31 AM

As I recall, Undies made you a meatloaf cake. Simply replace one of the ingredients with ipecac.

Declan McManus, as Gomez Addams 131,891 36
10/24/2010 02:04 PM

Take one defrosted turkey. Take out the nasty slimy bits, either eat them raw, or give them to a cat.


Stuff the turkey with UNpopped popcorn. (It's in the grocery store, next to that nasty microwave Shakespeare everyone else buys.)


When it explodes out of the turkey's ass, it's done!


/only joke recipe I know.

overachieving at underachieving 1,970 6
10/25/2010 08:41 AM

I probably should have specified that the Elephant Soup recipe was not original with me. I found it on the interwebbers and submitted it for a recipe book we did here at work and it was accepted and published in the soup section of the book with no explanation or anything. People found it hysterical so I thought it would be a good idea for Spicey's book.

Jesus Don't Want Me For a Sunbeam 4,199 12
10/25/2010 09:07 AM

Just make a pie filled with human Shakespeare.
I'm sure that prank would work on everyone, well except for one..

Fortunecookie 222 6
10/25/2010 10:07 AM

Honigkuchen (Honey Cakes)
Heat 2 pounds honey and when slightly cooled work in 2 pounds of flour with 1 tablespoon soda dissolved in vinegar. Knead until it has the consistency of wheat bread and set away in a warm place, well covered, for 8 to 14 days. Then work the mass well up again, adding 2 eggs, spices and nuts to taste and roll out 1/4 inch thick. Bake in a slow oven and cut in squares while warm.

Fortunecookie 222 6
10/25/2010 10:27 AM

Poached Eggs in Aspic Recipe

Ingredients:
6 eggs, poached (for a classic and foolproof recipe see the poached eggs page)
tarragon-flavoured aspic jelly
12 slices cooked ham

Poach the eggs according to the classic poached eggs recipe (ensure the yolks are soft). Drain thoroughly and trim off any excess white before chilling in cold water. Now trim the ham slices to the same shape as the eggs before placing an egg on each slice of ham and covering with a second slice of ham.

Just melt the tarragon-flavoured aspic jelly (or use fresh) then arrange the poached egg and ham sandwiches in a dish large enough to leave some space between them and pour the aspic over the top so that they are just covered. Put to one side to set and when completely firm cut out the egg and ham sandwich along with an aspic surround and serve with a green salad.

Drewcifer aka JackyMaille 46,366 58
11/01/2010 02:29 PM

I just ran across this and suddenly remembered this thread.

The Cheeseburger Cocktail


2 muddled Roma tomatoes
1 ounce iceberg lettuce water
1 ounce Flor de Cana 7 year old rum
1 ounce well-reduced beef stock
Salt and pepper to taste
2 tablespoons aged Cheddar cheese
2 tablespoons toasted bread crumbs
1 teaspoon dry mustard powder
1 large kosher dill pickle
Instructions
Put muddled tomatoes in glass, add ice, and slowly poor lettuce water. Stir rum and beef jus together in stainless shaker. Float rum mixture over ice. Sprinkle with salt and pepper.
Garnish with Cheddar frico and pickle knot.
(To make the frico, heat a pan to medium heat, sprinkle in cheddar and use sides of spoon to gather cheese into a circle. Brown and remove from pan to cool on plate.
Mix bread crumbs with dry mustard. Wet rim of glass with pickle juice, dip glass in crumb mixture.)


Good for the pooping!