Millie Gets Married!
A comedy conversation
by Under-appreciated.  101,398  77
11/03/2010 07:29 AM 268 views
|
|
Last night I dreamed that Millie was marrying Daisypie, and she was going all-out, making it fancy and fun with her super-creative skills. It was seriously going to be the most fabulous wedding ever! The reception tables had these 4-feet-tall square vases that were all decoupaged on the outside, and were filled on the inside with paper flowers that looked lifelike. Oh, and the vases had colored water in them and live fish swimming around. I'm not sure how this didn't destroy the paper flowers, and with the vases being decoupaged you would think they wouldn't be transparent, but they totally were. Like I said, Millie is super-creative and everything so about the wedding was awesome.
Anyway, she called me almost everyday - sometimes 6 or 7 times - to get my opinion about certain details. That's why, when I didn't actually receive an invitation, I realized something must be VERY wrong.
Dianada started a thread, showing how the invitation was folded up in an elaborate origami; she perched the paper swan on her ass and took pictures. Nachos burned his and posted a photo of the ashes, black like his heart. And BIG posted a few short sentences explaining why he wasn't attending, and then Millie mentioned the open bar and he said that he supposed he could make it.
But yeah, I wasn't invited.
Around this time, Millie started NOT calling me, and her posts were getting very erratic. Since I don't live that far away, I decided to drive over and see what was going on. When I arrived, I exited my minivan in a super-slo-mo sequence and saw that Millie...was a man.
|
|
|
Like This? Rate It!
|
|
Hilarious
7 votes
4.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054178657
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Side-splitting
2 votes
5.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054178658
Under-appreciated. 101,398  77
11/03/2010 07:36 AM
At least, she looked like a man. Her long, dark hair had been cut off into a short pixie style, but it had been done VERY badly. It was extremely uneven and looked like hell. She burst into tears and I comforted her with a hug that lasted a little too long for a girl that was getting married in a few weeks, but since Millie was distraught, I decided to just cop a quick feel so her feelings weren't hurt.
She then withdrew and smiled at me through her tears. Apparently Dianada had been going to Beauty School and convinced Millie to let her give her a new haircut. Since I myself had gone to Beauty School, I told Millie to sit down and that I would fix everything. Unfortunately, there wasn't much I could do to salvage it, and the new cut left her looking like a total man, with a goatee, but she still had boobs.
Anyway, by the time I was done, she had stopped crying and we had decided that this was the perfect time for her to become a spy.
|
| |
|
|
|
Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054178660
Under-appreciated. 101,398 77
11/03/2010 07:45 AM
The rest of the dream, I operated out of the reception hall as Millie's gadget supplier, while she went on missions to bring down an evil empire. The most significant encounter actually had the terrorists - men wearing gray suits and black fedoras and dark sunglasses - threading through the reception site in-between the tables, almost finding me hiding under the crystal punch bowl.
Near the end of the dream, Millie was on a talk show with two other agents, discussing the nation's foreign policy. At one point, she received a phone call, and her cover was almost blown when she pulled out a cell phone that was cotton-candy pink and covered with little rhinestones. The other agents shared a look and were about to draw their weapons, when the first one realized that Millie WAS a man, only that she must be gay.
I then woke up with a sense of relief, that Millie had been able to complete her missions with my help, but I was also angry - that she had NOT invited me to the wedding. I'm still a little upset about that. WTF?
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
Funny
6 votes
3.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054178669
Closet Friend 7,665 11
11/03/2010 09:15 AM
<-- insert Spicey reference here -->
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
Funny
7 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054178671
Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
11/03/2010 09:43 AM
Frost you for using words I don't understand!
|
| |
|
|
|
Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054178672
Under-appreciated. 101,398 77
11/03/2010 09:43 AM
True story: I actually twisted my ankle last night during sex. I don't see how this applies to the dream, but it did happen prior to me falling asleep.
|
| |
|
|
|
Amusing
2 votes
1.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054178681
Your What?! Hurts? 5,582 10
11/03/2010 10:13 AM
Wow, what position were you in to do that? Or are you a trapeezist or some other weird religious cult?
|
| |
|
|
|
Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054178682
Dianerda 57,835 109
11/03/2010 10:25 AM
I cut hair very well, I'll have you know!!
|
| |
|
|
|
Hilarious
6 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054178704
Dogs Akimbo 211,626 32
11/03/2010 12:06 PM
...Her long, dark hair had been cut off into a short pixie style, but it had been done VERY badly...the new cut left her looking like a total man, with a goatee, but she still had boobs.
So, what was the problem?
|
| |
|
|
|
Hilarious
7 votes
4.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054178752
Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
11/03/2010 03:08 PM
DON'T TEASE ME ABOUT OPEN BARS
|
|
|
|
Store
to
...