Not Phla 131,068 34
11/07/2010 12:23 AM

Daysypy: "First start frying up some fries..."

SERIOUSLY WHAT DO I DO.

Not Phla 131,068 34
11/07/2010 12:24 AM

IT IS WEARING MY TUPPERWARE AS ITS HAT.

Crazyballs 784 11
11/07/2010 12:25 AM

runs away

Not Phla 131,068 34
11/07/2010 12:25 AM

IT JUST USED AN IPHONE TO CALL ITS MOM.

Not Phla 131,068 34
11/07/2010 12:28 AM

Guys, you're seriously not helping. Yes, it's as big as a pencil but whattheFrost why is it here and does it have friends???

Drewcifer aka Captain Paxil 46,366 58
11/07/2010 12:31 AM

Quit texting and do something useful. Like take pictures.

Manhole 21,658 29
11/07/2010 12:34 AM

If it has strange colored markings and really big fangs it's probably harmless.

Dasypygal is thankful 4 darkmeat 14,811 17
11/07/2010 12:35 AM

Are typing from UPSTAIRS, dear?

Dasypygal is thankful 4 darkmeat 14,811 17
11/07/2010 12:35 AM

you

Dasypygal is thankful 4 darkmeat 14,811 17
11/07/2010 12:36 AM

Big as a pencil? It could just be a worm, dear.

Panda stuffing with giblet gravy 181,795 70
11/07/2010 12:38 AM

Quick! Someone get a mother-Frosting plane!

Dasypygal is thankful 4 darkmeat 14,811 17
11/07/2010 12:39 AM

Roll up the carpet including the tupperware hat, throw it outside. Check it in the morning.

By the way, how large is the carpet?

Not Phla 131,068 34
11/07/2010 12:40 AM

I have a ground floor apt, and am ONMYBED. I don't know what's worse - that it's all the way in the opposite corner away from the door, or that it's all the way in the opposite corner away from the door. Do they crawl up walls and in windows???

Not Phla 131,068 34
11/07/2010 12:41 AM

If there is one, there could be two. I really hate math.

Dasypygal is thankful 4 darkmeat 14,811 17
11/07/2010 12:43 AM

No! They don't crawl up doors and windows, they slither, silly!

Dasypygal is thankful 4 darkmeat 14,811 17
11/07/2010 12:44 AM

maybe they're mating. Dim the the lights.

Dasypygal is thankful 4 darkmeat 14,811 17
11/07/2010 12:48 AM

Be firm with them! If you don't like pencil-thin snakes in your room, open the door and tell them to leave, now!

Not Phla 131,068 34
11/07/2010 12:50 AM

You're being funny in my thread, I appreciate that. I take back all my cracks about showing us pictures of dead things. If you come over here and kill it, you can post pictures and I won't say a word I promise just kill it kill it dead.

SIV9939 13,642 16
11/07/2010 12:52 AM

In the movie Samuel L. Jackson shot out one of the plane's windows and the decompression sucked all of the snakes out of the plane. You should therefore break out one of your windows. If that doesn't work, fashion a flamethrower out of a lighter and an aerosol can because snakes, like cavemen, fear fire.

Straw Potato Pie 98,023 37
11/07/2010 12:57 AM

This is what cats are for. A dog will just bark at it. Seriously, I just youtubed dog barking at snake and found this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cwlb11RymXs

Is it just me or does the snake initially just look like a stain on the grass?

Dasypygal is thankful 4 darkmeat 14,811 17
11/07/2010 12:58 AM

Honestly, the thing(s) are probably just cold.

Just light a couple of tea candles to warm the baby's way towards the outside. With them being that small, they're most likely babies. Unless they're coral snakes. Coral snakes are smallish. Like a pretty pencil and they'll kill you.
But I'm sure you're fine.

Dianerda 57,835 109
11/07/2010 01:04 AM

Phla, you need to move away from the wild wild west and come back to the east coast. It's the only answer!

But in the meantime, you need a Rikki-Tikki-Tavi up in there.

Frogpop 173,153 25 puts on a fedora
11/07/2010 01:10 AM

I hate snakes.

Panda stuffing with giblet gravy 181,795 70
11/07/2010 01:12 AM

It's got Tupperware on it? You can leave the Tupperware on top of him until he starves to death. Then you can use salad tongs to pick it up and take it outside and let the circle of life and all that Shakespeare. Then throw the tongs away.

Or, you can use a stiff piece of paper and slide it under the snake and the Tupperware. Then, flip it over real fast like so that the snake is in the bowl. You will have already opened the door, so then you will do a very scared-girlie-dance to the door, and fling said paper and bowl outside and slam the door real quick. Wait until tomorrow to retrieve them. Throw the bowl away.

Naturally, you will for no reason other than skeevey-vibes avoid walking on the spot on the floor for at least a week.

Not Phla 131,068 34
11/07/2010 01:21 AM

I did exactly what shp said probably at the exact time as you were posting it.

Now every sock, cord and hair band in my house is now a snake. I'm looking at you, Bon Jovi.

Not Phla 131,068 34
11/07/2010 01:24 AM

Indiana Jones hates snakes. I hates snakes. Therefore by the theory of relativity, I am very good with a whip. Does anyone have a large boulder I can run in front of?

Dasypygal is thankful 4 darkmeat 14,811 17
11/07/2010 01:24 AM

Naturally, you will for no reason other than skeevey-vibes avoid walking on the spot on the floor for at least a week.



You're my hero.

Really. I threw away my fry pot that the frog jumped in when I was making fries. And tonight when my husband made me a steak, I couldn't eat it because he grilled next to the frog 'suicide scene'.

I kill things when I'm hungry. But all that accidental Shakespeare makes me melancholly, baby.

Dasypygal is thankful 4 darkmeat 14,811 17
11/07/2010 01:27 AM

I did exactly what shp said probably at the exact time as you were posting it.



So where's the mother-Frosting snake?

or have you named it and knitted it a sweater for Christmas?

Not Phla 131,068 34
11/07/2010 01:32 AM

Badgerbadgerbadgerbadger
mushroommushroom
badgerbadgerbadgerbadger
mushroommushroom
badgerbadgerbadgerbadger
mushroommushroom
badgerbadgerbadgerbadger

Not Phla 131,068 34
11/07/2010 01:33 AM

Freezer fresh for up to 6 weeks.

Hollis 7,284 14
11/07/2010 01:37 AM

First of all, let me say I would Shakespeare and die.

My advice: mongoose?

Not Phla 131,068 34
11/07/2010 01:41 AM

First of all, let me say I would Shakespeare and die.

THANK YOU. This is all I'm saying.

There's no way I'm falling asleep here tonight, no way.

Dasypygal is thankful 4 darkmeat 14,811 17
11/07/2010 01:45 AM

It's just a BABY! Awww!

Pick the poor lost thing up and deposit it outside.






P.S.
Most snakes have 30+ babies. So don't be shocked when you get a few more visitors.

Not Phla 131,068 34
11/07/2010 01:50 AM

I said I did what SHP said - I slipped a piece of posterboard under the tupperware hat, flipped it, slammed the lid shut, burped the lid because I could, girlydanced outside and dropped it in the rainy grass. Now it's outside where it will drown in the monsoon, the snake germy tupperware is in the sink where it will sit until I give up and throw it away and I will have nightmares forever because all shadows look like snakes now oh my god what is touching my back.

Now promise me it won't come back inside and crawl up the legs of my bed and/or a blanket and slither over my face while I'm asleep. PROMISE ME.

Dasypygal is thankful 4 darkmeat 14,811 17
11/07/2010 01:03 AM

You mentioned a monsoon? As soon as it dries up, no more babies will be looking for shelter... when it dries up.

Have you ever seen those 'onesies' that babies and Gene Simmons wears? Yeah, get one of those, with a hood. You'll sleep better.

Oh, and push towels under your doors.





(It'll keep the babies warm)

Hollis 7,284 14
11/07/2010 01:08 AM

The Frosted up thing about snakes is that they can slither up things somehow. The damn things probably won't hurt you but they're terrifying and there really might be more.

I'd move.

Not Phla 131,068 34
11/07/2010 01:14 AM

My completely unhelpful dog just went into the bedroom and barked.

I almost died. Again.

When I get tired, I swear to god, I am going to sleep on top of my kitchen table.

Dasypygal is thankful 4 darkmeat 14,811 17
11/07/2010 01:23 AM

Just wear something cute...and keep the curtains opened.

We'll watch over you so you can feel safe.

Not Phla 131,068 34
11/07/2010 01:40 AM

I may have neglected to say that the snake was found six feet away from my bed.

I hope this makes me less of a baby.

Dasypygal is thankful 4 darkmeat 14,811 17
11/07/2010 01:51 AM

I may have neglected to say that the snake was found six feet away from my bed.

I hope this makes me less of a baby.



Yes, a zygote. Fetus at best.

At least we'll know what position you'll be sleeping in tonight.

Dogs Akimbo 211,626 32
11/07/2010 01:55 AM

You shouldn't worry about the snake anymore. If anything is going to crawl up the legs of your bed and/or blanket and climb over your face while you're asleep, it would be cockroaches. Promise.

Frogpop 173,153 25
11/07/2010 02:09 AM

Or a Gabber.

Dogs Akimbo 211,626 32
11/07/2010 02:11 AM

I was trying to scare her, not scar her for life.

Frogpop 173,153 25
11/07/2010 02:12 AM

Then stop climbing on her bed!

Dogs Akimbo 211,626 32
11/07/2010 02:38 AM

Get out of my head!

KChiki - Techno Geek Nerd Princess 128,446 98
11/07/2010 07:28 AM

My approved method of snake removal is either;

a) if it's small, broomstick to pin it's head down and then grab it right behind where it's ears aren't. Look it over, watch it try to threaten me as it has a heart-attack and then deposit it outside and headed in another direction from the house.

or

b) if it's larger, a piece of pvc pipe with a cord looped through it. Work the loop at the end around the snake's largish head and then pull the ends taught so that you have a tight noose. Then pull the now-struggling snake out of wherever it was hiding. Once again, inspect, watch and deposit.

/Steve Irwin Reincarnate

/Serious

Taco > You 61,976 36
11/07/2010 08:30 AM

I pick it up and fling it into the creek if it's non-poisonous and whack that Froster to death with a shovel if it is. If you can't identify snake species in your area I don't recommend this course of action.

TopHatSnake 3,464 10
11/07/2010 08:41 AM

bitches always be hatin'

Not Phla 131,068 34
11/07/2010 08:50 AM

Bring flowers next time.

Midgets 96,151 48
11/07/2010 09:49 AM

I pick it up and fling it into the creek if it's non-poisonous and whack that Froster to death with a shovel if it is. If you can't identify snake species in your area I don't recommend this course of action.

According to Billy the Exterminator if it has round pupils it isn't poisonous, if it has slitted pupils it is.

So unless you plan to get up in it's grill without knowing, make an appointment with your opthamologist and hope it's covered by your insurance.

Shell Belle 77,143 25
11/07/2010 10:00 AM

Quick! Someone get a mother-Frosting plane

That made me choke on my coffee.


You're a lot braver than I am, Phla. At the first sight of that, I would have run screaming into the night and begged the first man I saw to come and take it away. Who gives a Frost about the equality of women when there's a snake in your house?

Straw Potato Pie 98,023 37
11/07/2010 10:14 AM

Now I realize why I was dreaming about snakes last night. Note to self: don't read threads like this and then watch related youtube videos right before bedtime.

Not Phla 131,068 34
11/07/2010 11:45 AM

You know what else you shouldn't do? Catch snakes in your bedroom right before bedtime.

In my dream, I woke up and looked for snakes. Then I woke up, and looked for snakes.

I went to sleep with my sneakers on because it made me feel safer. (If you address this paragraph, be prepared to wear the obvious hat.)

Declan McManus did the potato mash! 131,891 36
11/07/2010 09:40 PM

Haven't seen Hat in a long time. I wonder how the fatherFrost he's doing?


I'd rather face a snake (even a pisonous one) than a Republican politician.


I've never knowingly had sex with a Republican politician.

Thud 68,525 19
11/07/2010 09:51 PM

Put it in a box and mail it to me. I'll reimburse you for the postage.






Poop.

Your What?! Hurts? 5,582 10
11/08/2010 11:19 AM

My approved method of snake removal is either;

...

b) if it's larger, a piece of pvc pipe with a cord looped through it. Work the loop at the end around the snake's largish head and then pull the ends taught so that you have a tight noose. Then pull the now-struggling snake out of wherever it was hiding. Once again, inspect, watch and deposit.

/Steve Irwin Reincarnate

/Serious

You do all that for a snake that could potentially kill you, but do the girly-dance-of-terror over a Frost-ing cockroach that couldn't hurt you with 200 of its friends?

Smokin' hot? Frost yeah. Make sense? Oh hell no.


Oh, and btw ... your plan b is clearly the illegitimate love child from Messers Irwin & MacGyver.

And all of the above is why I always search out KChicki's posts first.

KChiki watches you while you post! 128,446 98
11/08/2010 11:26 AM

I have never claimed to make a bit of sense.

Dogs Akimbo 211,626 32
11/08/2010 11:50 AM

I think you're stepping on someone's shtick.

Phla vs Snake: Phla wins! 131,068 34
11/08/2010 03:16 PM

One guy at work said "Awwww maybe it was someone's pet." Which is clearly the wrong answer to someone who hasn't slept all weekend. So I put a tupperware hat on him and threw him out in the grass.