Derision Points: The Bush Memoir Prank
A comedy article
by John Hargrave  128,751  73
11/20/2010 12:02 AM 25568 views
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I recently heard about a new campaign to move George W. Bush's memoir, Decision Points, to the "True Crime" section of local bookshops. There's even a Facebook group, which argues that Bush's memoir "defends several of his criminal policies ... including the invasion of Iraq and the use of waterboarding."
Personally, I don't know what's wrong with those short little surfboards, I've tried them on vacation and found them quite fun. But I thought this sounded like a clever prank, so I recently went to my local Borders to see just how hard it would be to move Bush's memoir to the "True Crime" section.
And because I never do a prank halfway, I wanted to move all the copies of his book.
This new Borders is the size of a city block, so I knew I was going to have a lot of books to move. I brought my own cardboard box, to make the task easier.
I wore my trusty suit and Bluetooth headset, so I would at least look official while I rearranged the store.
The book wasn't hard to find, as it was sitting on the first display table. Most of the copies had been sold to true crime enthusiasts, but there were a few spare copies underneath.
I wandered around with my box, with no idea where the True Crime section was. It occurred to me that I should have planned a little better.
I finally found it, and quickly pulled books off the shelf, stacking them neatly in a pile to make room for Seinen Kampf.
A young black woman came up to me and said, "I'm sorry, you can't take pictures in here."
I looked down at her Borders nametag. "It's okay, Jocelyn," I assured her. "I'm from Regional."
"Uh ... okay," she said, and shuffled off.
I was sure they had more books, so I went off in search.
D'oh! Here I was hauling my books around in this cardboard box, when I could have used a handy basket for my shopping convenience!
I found another rebel outpost hidden deep in the Biography/Memoir section.
And another pocket of resistance on the endcap.
Now, that's more like it! The entire Borders inventory of Decision Points, relocated near books like Monster and A Deadly Game.
It did make for a striking display.
On my way out, I found another display table with a huge stack of Bush's memoirs I had missed! I grabbed another basket and started piling the books in for relocation.
That's when I got caught.
"Do you need help with these?" I looked up to see a wiry, bearded man in his thirties, clearly the store manager.
"I've got them, Charlie," I said cheerily, reading his nametag. "I'm from Regional."
He paused. "Regional what?"
"Regional, California," I said. "Born and raised." I held out my hand. "I'm John."
He cautiously shook it, then looked down at the books warily. "Would you like me to take these to the register for you?"
"I'm good. Thanks."
I frowned at the dust jacket until he got caught up with another customer, then I whisked the books away to a nearby aisle. He was blocking the path to the True Crime section, so I hurriedly began stuffing the books into the nearest section.
I could feel employees surrounding me, but I just stayed focused on my task, until Charlie came over again. "These don't belong here," he said, starting to take them down. I managed to squeeze off one shot of my work.
I offered to put them back, but he didn't want any help. So I tried to straighten up some other books on my way out. I really didn't want to cause more work for the Borders employees. Just for people trying to buy a copy of the book.
Click here if you're interested in joining the Subversively move George W. Bush's memoir to crime section in book shops Facebook group.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Hilarious
27 votes
4.4
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.5
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The Ancient Fifer 186,133  44
11/20/2010 03:37 AM
FRIST! w00+!!ELEVENTY!
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.0
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George Dubya Bush Jr. 21,658 29
11/20/2010 07:59 AM
What kind a BO is this!
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.2
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Sarah Palin Tea Snorter 5,582 10
11/20/2010 12:15 PM
I support this message!
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Funny
7 votes
3.5
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panicBoy 313 9
11/20/2010 12:54 PM
I think the picture of the first display table was a subtle commentary by someone working there.
George W. Bush's memoir, sitting next to Diary Of A Wimpy Kid.
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Funny
7 votes
3.4
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Kanye East 211,626 32
11/20/2010 01:25 PM
George Bush doesn't care about book people.
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Funny
8 votes
3.8
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The Mailman 176,467 56
11/20/2010 01:58 PM
So contrary to popular belief, it isn't that difficult or dangerous for George W. Bush to travel across borders.
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.5
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~ Jeeni, lurking clickie faerie ~ 47,815 51
11/20/2010 02:01 PM
George W. Bush's memoir, sitting next to Diary Of A Wimpy Kid.
Wow, ether PanicBoy has written or owns a copy of the Wimpy Kid book. No way anyone can recognize that title from that picture alone.
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Chuckleworthy
7 votes
2.9
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SIV9939 13,642 16
11/20/2010 02:34 PM
I can't help noticing John had trouble finding the "True Crime" section, but found the "Erotica" section with ease.
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Funny
7 votes
3.3
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Johnny Plankton 4,102 27
11/20/2010 08:03 PM
It DOES belong in the "Erotica" section. Water boarding is just EXTREME S & M!
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.8
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Mr Samsa 88 5
11/21/2010 10:19 AM
That is funny, i like it and it goes along with myself and another specialist in my bookstore wanting to move the bibles to fiction, but do you have any idea how long it takes to shift a section back after people do that? it ridiculous.
Another funny prank my corporate overlords have deemed hilarious? We are selling Barnes and Nobles nook... wtf B-A-M.
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Side-splitting
2 votes
5.0
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Robb Posch 1,385 14
11/23/2010 12:45 PM
I used to move "Stop or My Mom Will Shoot" to the Drama section every time I would be in Blockbuster. For some reason, they would always move it back.
Cretins.
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.3
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Aeetlrcreejl 7 4
11/23/2010 04:17 PM
Unfortunately, I was at my local bookstore yesterday, before I read this article. However, I did manage to see that the Bush book was in the "historical fiction" section.
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
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Cuddlefish The Brave 65 7
12/18/2010 12:01 AM
Bloody 'ell
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