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King of the Pill: The Birth Control Experiment, Part 2
A comedy article by Ball Saxbury 518 6
12/03/2010 10:20 PM 4677 views

Frustrated by the lack of birth control options for men, my friend Jack recently agreed to take estrogen-based birth control for an entire month, to see what would happen. [Read Part 1 here.] Now in the second week of our experiment, the whole world waits to see if Jack will grow some gigantic breasts ... or just be a big Poe.


"You take the yellow pill ... you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes"

Now that the test subject had a good deal of estrogen under his belt (so to speak), it was time to determine what physiological changes had taken place so far. I asked Jack to measure the size of his testicles using highly scientific measuring instruments (his hands). After several minutes of massaging his giggleberries, he reported that they may have shrunk, or it might have been the cold weather. His yambag, he reported, was smoother than usual, like a plastic coin-purse.

I brought in a friend of mine, a pre-med student, to ask some questions about the safety of this experiment. "I have been administering estrogen birth control pills to the subject for over a week, and have not noticed any obvious changes in behavior or appearance. Is it safe to continue?"

"Absolutely not," she replied.

Having established the safety of this experiment, we went to the store to pick up feminine supplies for Jack ... just in case.



The drive to the store was fairly typical. I noted that the subject seemed slightly more inclined to sing loudly along with the radio, especially "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)". The puzzling part was that a different song was playing on the radio.

We arrived at the store, and made a beeline for Jack's aisle.


"Step one: you cut a hole in the box"

The subject also insisted he try on some bras, which was just ridiculous since he was trying on D-cups. By this point, he was a C-cup, tops.


"His cups were waiting to be filled"

I tried to get Jack to leave the store, but he was a little too into the women's clothing section. Seriously. We took, like, two dozen pictures.


Getting Lei'd

On the drive back, something was different. I couldn't quite put my finger on it.



Back in the apartment, I noted a change in the subject's reading habits. No longer did Jack unwind after a long, hard day with a Tom Clancy novel hidden inside Guns 'n' Ammo.



I know what you're thinking. But Jack is completely straight, and even had sexual relations with two different women during this first two weeks to prove it. We followed up with each of them closely, to see if they would get pregnant, or if Jack's birth control would do its job.

The answers -- and many, many more questions -- in Part 3 of our experiment.

Please continue to Part 3: Jack Grows a Pair! (Of Breasts)

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2 Comments on "

King of the Pill: The Birth Control Experiment, Part 2

"

(Funniest: Silent Ravos, Holy Ravos)


  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1054183783
Jesus Don't Want Me For a Sleighbell 4,199 12
12/17/2010 09:53 AM

Where the hell is week 3 o r 4? Did Jack die or something?

 

Hilarious 3 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1054183790
Silent Ravos, Holy Ravos 63,472 21
12/17/2010 10:13 AM

Nothing happened. Then nothing continued to happen.