Hoax Revealed: Michael Jackson Faked His Own Life! A comedy article
by HenryHarveyComedyGod 448 8 12/07/2010 02:53 PM 276 views
Hoax Revealed: Michael Jackson Faked His Own Life
Yesterday Michael Jackson's former agent revealed that the King of Pop's life had been a hoax. Or at least the last half of it. In 1984, after badly burning his scalp during the filming of a Pepsi commercial, Michael switched places with a Bulgarian croissant maker named Trifon Aleksandrov.
Trifon Aleksandrov performs for Bulgarian Idol.
"We met in the early '80s while he was doing a concert in Bucharest." Said Aleksandrov through an interpreter in a recent interview, "I was in charge of feeding the monkey and we became fast friends. When he burned himself in the Pepsi commercial, he called me up in tears. He said he'd had it."
"I remembered from my youth a story of the Prince and the Pauper. So we switched places. The singing was dubbed and the dancing was all posing and crotch grabbing after 1984 anyway."
"Take a look at him in the 80s and then in the 90s. He's not the same dude. It's obviously a white guy with a wig on."
Michael Jackson Acceptance Speech in 1985:
Michael Jackson - Australian Interview 1996:
Aleksandrov explained Michael's increasing reclusiveness and donning of masks as a way of disguising his change in identity.
"Michael" with his Bulgarian girlfriend, 1999:
"But the press was starting to catch on, so we had to make up all that crazy bullShakespeare. Neverland, the child abuse stuff, not to mention buying the Elephant Man's bones. We used to stay up drinking and laughing our asses off just coming up with that crap."
"After we faked his death and made a Shakespeareload of money off that fake last tour, he moved to my village in Bulgaria and married my cousin Snezhana. With my cut of the money I opened a croissant shop in New Jersey. Guess what I named it? Bubbles."
Noob #1 who actually has been around John for years and years (so kind of an old timer) writes an article for Zug. Noob #2 talks Shakespeare about Noob/Old timer #1's article. Then Noob #3 sarcastically jumps on Noob #2 for Frost-ing with Noob #1's article, while actually talking Shakespeare about Noob #1.
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