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Letters to My Enemies: Return of The Angel Facilitator
A comedy article by Davidicus 421 7
04/15/2011 11:12 AM 1948 views

A few weeks ago, I carried on an email conversation with an "angel facilitator" who just wanted to set up a private Skype session with me, despite how insane my emails became. [Read the exchange here.] She kept following up with me, so I eventually relented and paid her for a professional consultation via Skype.

The following "angel facilitation" occurred over Skype with video, but no sound. Prior to our discussion I told her I could not speak due to a neck injury.


David 7:32 PM
Hello

Diane 7:33 PM
It's good to see your inquisitive eyes. We offer this reading to the power of love. Would you like to begin with a question?




David 7:35 PM
Yes, please. I suppose I just want your thoughts on the nature of angels as I've been getting a lot of conflicting ideas on this.

Diane 7:36 PM
Ask Archangel Uriel to bring clarity to the situation and for the strength and wisdom of Archangel Michael to cut your attachment to any fear or drama so you may be grounded in remembering and peace.

David 7:36 PM
Okay, doing that now. My youngest son, who is eight, says angels have wings. Is this just myth?

Diane 7:37 PM
Many have had angels appear to them with wings; some as orbs, and more fanciful ways: large, small, all kinds of colors. Focus upon Divine and perfect health.

David 7:38 PM
But no actual feathers, right? I only ask because I have terrible allergies.




Diane 7:38 PM
Sometimes there are signs left in the form of actual feathers.

David 7:38 PM
I just hope the feathers are hypoallergenic

Diane 7:40 PM
Archangel Michael is asking that you focus on your well-being rather than on sickness or injury. To stay centered on your desires vs. fears.

David 7:40 PM
Okay, I'd like to tell you a little of my background. My throat injury has been a recent health concern.

Diane 7:42 PM
Your life purpose may involve healing as you make positive changes to your lifestyle.

David 7:43 PM
My question is, how do I let go of my anger for being stabbed in the throat?

Diane 7:44 PM
You may mentally say: I may choose to let go of this anger, this horror, if I want to while tapping on the karate chop point of your non-dominant hand with your dominant hand...

David 7:45 PM
Like this?




Diane 7:45 PM
Lower. This is an energy meridian. I'm using EFT Emotional Freedom Technique like acupuncture w/out the needles.

David 7:46 PM
I was stabbed with a fork. I mocked a coworker, which I should not have done. Because he had a fork

Diane 7:47 PM
This acknowledgement of how you feel will help release the guilt and anger.

David 7:47 PM
Have you ever watched that show "Angel"?? It turns out "Angel" isn't about an angel at all. He's a vampire.




"Touched By An Angel," on the other hand? Actual angels!



Diane 7:52 PM
The anger is partly at yourself and partly at the coworker? Yes?

David 7:52 PM
Yes, it is. I should get revenge, right?

Diane 7:54 PM
Holding on to this anger--- what is the benefit for you? So. Decide to forgive yourself and your coworker --anyway as you tap

David 7:56 PM
There's also a show called "Dark Angel." I don't know what she is. Not an angel or a vampire. A robot maybe? I'm not sure.




Diane 7:56 PM
Just as you crossed boundaries so too did the coworker... decide you love yourself and your humanity... and it will expand out to others. Release the need to be distracted by the shows for now.

David 7:57 PM
I've been getting the sense that I'm supposed to be doing something. Something important. Something good.

Diane 7:57 PM
Yes. Good for yourself

David 7:57 PM
Like coach a peewee hockey team.




Diane 7:57 PM
When you see the good in yourself and focus on it you will see it in others. Now with the coaching - what action can you take that will take you closer to manifesting it?

David 7:58 PM
Letting go of the memory of the restraining order that said I couldn't be within 200 yards of the Boys and Girls Club of Vermont, which forced me to move out of my apartment last summer.

Diane 7:59 PM
What happened that you were given the restraining order?

David 8:00 PM
It's complicated. Public drunkenness in front of all the kids, for one. There may have been nudity. Which makes me think coaching a peewee hockey team is a bad idea. But I really like hockey. I'm a Washington Capitals fan.




Diane 8:01 PM
The wholeness in healing comes from being gentle with yourself. Since you have the challenge of the drunkenness, pick something that flows with your strengths. Play hockey when you can; watch hockey; etc.

David 8:02 PM
I don't know how to play hockey.

Diane 8:02 PM
So, why not explore that?

David 8:02 PM
With children?

Diane 8:02 PM
People actually heal when they play...

David 8:02 PM
I don't see much healing in the games I watch.




Diane 8:02 PM
Good point... but it's the intention you go in with that counts. Go in with one of movement, fun, strength building...

David 8:04 PM
And if I get checked against the boards, I will just allow it???

Diane 8:04 PM
If you get checked. Get up and skate as fast as you can so it won't happen again.

David 8:04 PM
I also like breakfast cereals. I write for a trade magazine about them. You'd be amazed at what cereals have the highest sugar content.

Diane 8:05 PM
Sugar can be a huge detriment to one's health and well being in large quantities.

David 8:06 PM
Then stay away from Raisin Bran. It is LOADED with it.

Diane 8:06 PM
Thanks for the heads up.




David 8:06 PM
I write for "Crunch!" It's the trade magazine for the Cereal & Morning Grains Association. I have a monthly column.

Diane 8:07 PM
Archangel Michael's protective energy is blessing you and your efforts to heal. Focus on your talents and celebrate your efforts -- not with liquor -- but with something that makes you feel honored.

David 8:07 PM
Wine?

Diane 8:08 PM
Anything come to mind other than liquor/wine? Congratulations on the monthly column. Celebrate that every day.

David 8:08 PM
Maybe instead of drink I could find comfort in others.




Diane 8:09 PM
Ask to awaken to the sweetness of life and for the desire to rise in you to be attracted to everything and everyone that will bring healing to your life, your body, your emotions.

David 8:09 PM
There is this extremely attractive and tall blonde who looks a bit like Farrah Fawcett.




Diane 8:10 PM
Is this your wife?

David 8:10 PM
No, I am divorced. And my girlfriend is stuck in Nigeria and tells me she can't return unless I send her money via Western Union. No, the blonde is simply a woman I'd like to know better.

Diane 8:11 PM
I see.

David 8:12 PM
I'm thinking I need to write a book.

Diane 8:12 PM
Yes. I was hearing "begin with journaling your story."

David 8:12 PM
A young adult novel with angels as the heroes. Instead of the silly vampires. But no sex

Diane 8:13 PM
Put yourself, your heart in it... whatever you desire to create in life... do it in the words/work.

David 8:13 PM
Well, maybe a little sex.




Diane 8:14 PM
I haven't seen you smile yet. I hope you have found some joy in our time together.

David 8:14 PM
Smiling hurts my throat. But I should get a big settlement for getting stabbed in the throat with a fork.

Diane 8:16 PM
So -- it's difficult to sense your emotions with no facial expression, no voice. I thought you were being funny with the comments about your story. I wish you limitless blessings of love, light and joy.

David 8:16 PM
Ah, I see. No, I just realized that a little sexiness will help sell the story.

Diane 8:17 PM
Yes. it will

David 8:17 PM
Thank YOU, Diane. Good evening to you.

Diane 8:17 PM
Good night.

Call Ended: 46 minutes 56 seconds




Strangely, at the end of the call, I really did feel touched by an angel. Touched in a totally inappropriate location.

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1 Comment on "

Letters to My Enemies: Return of The Angel Facilitator

"

(Funniest: AlabasterJenkins)


Amusing 1 votes 1.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1054197272
AlabasterJenkins 355 8
04/23/2011 02:20 AM

...then the angel told me to go Frost myself, but I was going to do that anyway.