Sock Popstar 18,572 33
04/17/2011 11:42 AM

Yes. Yes I am a bit sore that I signed up for the NOLA trip and have yet to get a return e-mail. Yes I am a bit hurt and confused as to why everyone would preach togetherness and non-elitism toward public GAB/ZUG events or those related to the board, like an OPEN INVITATION to New Orleans, but then as soon as I say boo they all recoil as if I were an earwig or a snake or the human centipede.

You who are coordinating the trip aren't the only ones who need a vacation. I've had a terrible, godawful year and need a break from it all right now, too. I am not going to bring any of it up on the trip, for Pete's sakes, if that's what you're worried about. I want to forget it all for a while, hence the "vacation" part.

Ask Shelle and Jeeni and Undies what I'm like in person. Or at least more in person than this place. I'm sorry to call you out ladies, but I felt it was necessary.

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
04/17/2011 11:43 AM

Lobster,

I know you aren't as lame as we all make you out to be. I am sorry if your feelings are hurt about anything I've said. I don't haze you because I dislike you, I haze you because you are an easy target. That being said, "Frost-ing REALLY?" How do you expect people to react when you post your inane drivel here? You have brought everything you get on yourself. You continuously post long diatribes after your feeling get hurt and that only makes it that much easier to Frost with you. I've been Frosted with as bad, if not worse than you in the past. But unlike you, I don't take it personally.


I am however going to be nicer to you from now on. Not because of any feelings of remorse at the things I've posted, but because "Picking on Lobster" has become passe.


Bill.

Dogs Akimbo 211,626 32
04/17/2011 11:52 AM

I've never had a problem with Robster. But then, I've always liked the retarded girls.

Sock Popstar 18,572 33
04/17/2011 12:12 PM

What I don't understand, and why I posted all of this, is why someone would put up an open invitation to an event when there are obvious exclusions. It's very easy to write a one line disclaimer: Lobsters need not apply. I won't be offended by that. I get it that I'm not cool enough to sit at the cheerleaders' table. But if you make something public, then let it be public. If it was an invitation-only trip, that's what personal e-mails, FaceBook, and MySpace are for.

I'm offended that I offered not only just to come to the event, but also to give rides to and from NOLA and carpool while we are there to save everyone a bit more cash for fun stuff. And I was completely ignored and then publicly humiliated over it.

Sock Popstar 18,572 33
04/17/2011 12:15 PM

Bill,

I don't disagree that I brought this upon myself. I stated that in my open letter. But, enough is enough. If it is due to me to laugh at me when I trip or stub my toe, please feel free. But there is a dead horse floating around here still, and I thank you kindly for refusing to grab the beating stick for that one.

Regards,
Lobster

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
04/17/2011 12:26 PM

I've got an idea. Why don't you stop. Then we can go over to the "Adventures of Bill the Squirrel" thread and Frost with Turd Boy.

Sock Popstar 18,572 33
04/17/2011 12:39 PM

Bill, I love you. Let us start our own Cool Kids Club.

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
04/17/2011 12:40 PM

Does that mean you're going to show me your tits?

The Mailman 176,467 56
04/17/2011 12:42 PM

you judge me because whatever reasons you have inferred about my personality based on what you read on the internet.

Fine. I won't judge you based on what you write on the Internet. What you write on ZUG is just part of your schtick. I get it. You are not really offended by your exclusion from the NOLA trip, you don't intend to carpool with anyone, and you have no real intentions of coming to the party in the first place. You wrote it on ZUG, so it's all part of your schtick. I'm glad that's settled.

TheVelveTurd 6,553 10
04/17/2011 12:45 PM

BWaaahhahhahahhaha!! Man, Lobster this is some of the best satire you've ever done!!! heh..hehh. hoo hoo heh. wait what?.. you were serious?......AAaawkward.

Sock Popstar 18,572 33
04/17/2011 01:20 PM

Does that mean you're going to show me your tits?


Yes. Yes it does.

Cadbury Creme Midgets 96,156 48
04/17/2011 02:09 PM

Maintained a spot in the top 50?

There's not that many regular posters are there?
So good job beating out blue girls, I guess.


Now, about this tit thing. If you share with one, you have to share with all. I'll still make fun of you but at least I won't have to imagine Shells tits while I do it.

Sock Popstar 18,572 33
04/17/2011 02:41 PM

I've given out my e-mail address. If you want boobs, ask for them there.

PRAM 80,728 42
04/17/2011 03:10 PM

You know, when I joined this site, it was an unwritten rule to have a shtick on here that is different from your real personality

Now you tell me... Gawd, I went to therapy for nothing. NOTHING!!!

also, I want sneakers.

Chocolate Easter Panda 181,795 70
04/17/2011 03:52 PM

We aren't in 3rd grade; I don't have to invite the whole class to my party.

I don't care who likes you on Facebook. I don't care who likes you in real life. This is my party, and I don't like you, so you're not welcome to my vacation.

Your story about "schticks" is bullShakespeare. You have spent too much time on this board and made too many "apology/I was just kidding/Thats not what I meant/I like the abuse" type posts/threads for me to believe that you are anything OTHER than someone who can't control themselves enough to, in 3 years, become a true contributing member of a group. You act more like a whiny little child who can't stand it when she's not included but makes no real effort to make the people she wants to hang with actually LIKE her. You'd rather throw a tantrum, use guilt and "public humiliation" (your words) to get your way instead of trying to actually change your behavior.

There are a number of other people from the board who actually are not welcome at our party. The difference between you and them is they know better than to even try, and you do not. The fact that you don't get that, and that you prefer instead to solve your situations with threads like this, are a contributing factor to the reason that you are not welcome.

If you had done the mature thing - which was to send another email to the planners - your answer would have been short and to the point, but you asked for it on Zug, so you're getting it in public.

Unfortunately, I know the public answer will "benefit" you in two ways. 1) you are now going to be all "I have it in writing that SHP & CO. are huge elitist bitches! *to which I say, so what?* and 2) You have gotten exactly what you wanted ... more attention in your attention whorring thread.

Well congrats, Lobster, you got attention on the internet. What you're not getting is an invitation to our lives.

KChikita Is the Girl from Ipanema 128,451 98
04/17/2011 04:03 PM

You know what IS funny?

That some people seem to believe that whining/calling out/ranting publicly about not being included in something is going to change the opinions of whoever didn't include them in a positive way.

BWAHAHAHA! That's hilarious!

Sock Popstar 18,572 33
04/17/2011 04:03 PM

Bitches should have just emailed me back to say no instead of bringing it back here in the first place. I sent the letter to the email that was posted in the thread. Instead of notifying me in private like I tried to do at first to keep this Shakespeare from happening, you decided to ignore me privately and humiliate me publicly.

That's just plain rude. All of this started because I tried to do it right, to take the proper channels to join in the right way, but since I was following your rules instead of making an out-and-out ass of myself, you decided to take the low road.

If you don't want to see or hear what I have to say on this board, download the Firefox extension that Zolton created. Then you won't be bothered by my inane drivel. Otherwise, shut the Frost up and eat a bowl of dick.

Dogs Akimbo 211,626 32
04/17/2011 04:16 PM

Stop being so non-retarded.

MungChamp 35,891 35
04/17/2011 05:18 PM

The people of Dubai don't get to watch the Flintstones but the people of Abu Dhabi Do.

Cadbury Creme Midgets 96,156 48
04/17/2011 05:33 PM

So are there gonna be any titties here or not?

I need to know, I've got a movie to watch if there isn't any reason to hang around.

PRAM 80,728 42
04/17/2011 05:40 PM

whining/calling out/ranting publicly about not being included in something is going to change the opinions of whoever didn't include them in a positive way.

Fat offspring. Whoever didn't include her didn't do it positively, in that sense. They positively didn't include her, but they didn't positively exclude her.

I think Lobster just made me enjoy grammar!

PRAM 80,728 42
04/17/2011 05:41 PM

crosses arms

That's what you get for ignoring the letter I sent through email requesting sneakers.

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
04/17/2011 05:45 PM

SHP & CO. are huge elitist bitches


Wow, you have your own company? Bitch!


Oh, I'm sorry, HUGE ELITIST BITCH!

Barney Friday 2,612 19
04/17/2011 06:07 PM

Straw, I sure wish I could clickie you three or four times for that post. I did give a fiver though.

Fillykok 39,193 20
04/17/2011 07:41 PM

If you don't want to see or hear what I have to say on this board, download the Firefox extension that Zolton created.

I'm thinking that if they don't want to read what you have to say on board, they definitely don't want to hear what you have to say in person.

Also, I'm pretty sure you brought this upon yourself. If I'm not mistaken, you posted in the thread that you wanted to go instead of just emailing and keeping quiet about it, and you have now gone on to publicly post about not being invited. Either you like the humiliation or you like the attention, and I'm going with option b.

Thud 68,525 19
04/17/2011 08:25 PM

Look, Panda made the most important point in this paragraph:

There are a number of other people from the board who actually are not welcome at our party. The difference between you and them is they know better than to even try, and you do not.

This party is not for everyone. The people who it was intended for know who they are. The rest of us can figure out that they aren't particularly welcome by either reading the thread(s) or their exclusion from emails (or lack of responses to emails).

The Mailman 176,467 56
04/17/2011 09:34 PM

Remember in 2005 when Tukrey said we couldn't prevent him from flying to Boston for ZUG10 even if we didn't want him there?

I'm so glad we learned from that episode and chose to use the code word "New Orleans" whenever we want to say "San Antonio" whenever we want to refer to the actual city of the gathering.

Phew, that was close.

It's Frogpop, Frogpop 173,153 25
04/17/2011 09:59 PM

See? This is why I hate birthday threads.

Fillykok 39,193 20
04/17/2011 10:02 PM

I really love how Lobster classified this as a "comedy article."

It's Frogpop, Frogpop 173,153 25
04/17/2011 10:17 PM

Seriously though, posting a seemingly public invite to an apparently private gathering is kind of a dick move. BUT, with the number of hard dicks this place regularly has, I guess you have to be prepared for that kind of thing from time to time.

If you really want to meet gabbers in person just wait for the next official plug-whatever-Hargrave-is-currently-working-on event, and spend the time between now and then being funny and not inviting your racist boyfriends to join the board.

Pubah 's Two Cents 56,851 18 From the corner of a dark alley way
04/17/2011 10:17 PM

Pssst...yo Lobstah,
I'm not going to GabNawlins. If I was goin, getting to Dallas to hitch a ride would take me a couple hundred miles in the wrong direction.
I'm sure you're not as Frosted up in real life as you are at Gab (nobody can be THAT Frosted up...even Pubah), so don't take this ass kickin personally. So, go to NewOrleans, crash their party, Frost with their heads...have all the HeGabbers beggin for a spork and all the SheGabbers beggin for a taste of your rug munchin excellence...then tell em who you are, whirl around whipping your hair in their dumb struck faces and drive back to Dallas with a satisfied smirk on your face.
Now go get em Lobbie...

*slinks back into the dark silence*

Fillykok 39,193 20
04/17/2011 10:19 PM

Sure, he says that knowing he's not going to be there.

Whistler 186,138 44
04/17/2011 10:43 PM

I stay quiet

If this is how you stay quiet, I'll probably kill myself when you become talkative.


Seriously, Lobster, not for our benefit, but for yours, you should leave Zug for good. Find someplace else, preferably someplace in the real world, where you can make a productive contribution to a community and find acceptance and other rewards. Clearly, it doesn't work out for you here. So why would you punish yourself?

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
04/17/2011 10:45 PM

I personally think you are all Frosted up bitches that think you are better than everyone else.

Go ahead, ostracize me now.

Cadbury Creme Midgets 96,156 48
04/17/2011 11:20 PM

I'm going to start being nicer to Lobsty.
Not just because I too think it was a dick move, or because I think everybody has qualities that can make them an interesting person, or because she demonstrated at least a little good judgement by kicking the racist to the curb, or because it takes some killer gal balls to keep coming back regardless of what we say to her.

I'm going to do it for the nobelest reason of all.




The lonely picked on chicks ALWAYS give killer head!

Future Druggist 2,533 11
04/17/2011 11:31 PM

The lonely picked on chicks ALWAYS give killer head!

This is quite true.

Cadbury Creme Midgets 96,156 48
04/17/2011 11:34 PM

Frost off. Nobody likes you.

Dogs Akimbo 211,626 32
04/17/2011 11:35 PM

I only think I'm better than about half the people here.

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
04/17/2011 11:36 PM

I think I'm better than all of you. No really, I do.

Cadbury Creme Midgets 96,156 48
04/17/2011 11:42 PM

I'm better than Bill because I can fix pressure washers AND mowers, welders, go carts, cars, 220v vibrators, snow blowers and garbage disposals.

Cadbury Creme Midgets 96,156 48
04/17/2011 11:46 PM

However, I can't put a screen protector on my phone without getting a piece of dust or lint stuck under it right in the middle.

SIV9939 13,642 16
04/17/2011 11:48 PM

I really love how Lobster classified this as a "comedy article."

Personally, I found this pretty funny.

Declan as Dexter Fisher 131,891 36
04/17/2011 11:52 PM

I am not going to sully the fine name of Homarus americanus in this post, except to say that steamed or boiled is much better than more elaborate preparations, such as Thermidor or even in macaroni and cheese.


I did, finally, after living here nearly 10 years with an inadequate stove and refrigerator have the gas stove and bottom freezer refrigerator I have wanted for quite some time. The stove is gas, with a power burner and a separate simmer burner on the cooktop, and the oven is self-cleaning. Push one button to start, another button to set run time, and just a little ashy debris to wipe up with a damp kitchen towel afterward.


The refrigerator is also a Whirlpool. Highly energy efficient, and the fresh food compartment is above the freezer section. I do not currently have the icemaker connected, for that would require high-level discussion with my landlord, but otherwise I am very pleased with both of them. The fridge is nearly silent. Best of all, unlike the former appliances, they are both in White, which matches my washer, dryer and dishwasher.

Future Druggist 2,533 11
04/17/2011 11:55 PM

Frost off. Nobody likes you

Also true. I take it you don't want to test the theory then?

Declan as Dexter Fisher 131,891 36
04/18/2011 12:00 AM

I also bought many books and CDs. Also bought a really comfortable pair of shoes by a company called "ecco."


Bought Rosa del Gata a veterinarian visit, and more than a few tubes of Revolution anti-flea goop.


Another item that I have been wanting for some time was an expensive, effective vacuum cleaner, neither made in Chine or Coree. It is a Miele Capricorn canister, made by those echt sauber und trocken Germans! It has a powered brush for the carpeting. It is so very quiet I can run it anytime without disturbing the very disturbing people Upstairs.



I had a windfall, and to compensate after 10 years of comparative poverty, I went shopping. I may never have such a windfall again, but I am perfectly content.

Cadbury Creme Midgets 96,156 48
04/18/2011 12:01 AM

I thought that's what I was doing

Just shut your mouth before you embarras yourself.

Cadbury Creme Midgets 96,156 48
04/18/2011 12:11 AM

Err...sorry, not you Declan.
I'm actually pretty jealous right now because I want that stove. We have an electric Frigidaire that I would rather go hungry than use some days.

However I love my side by side fridge except that the water filter for it costs $30 and with our crappy water I have to change it every 4 to 6 weeks.

Dianasaur and her pile of panties 57,835 109
04/18/2011 01:01 AM

I generally try to avoid drama on this site. That being said, this thread reeks of drama. As such, I do not intend to add fuel to the fire. If you'd like to talk about this more, you can email me.

Sock Popstar 18,572 33
04/18/2011 01:12 AM

No, you can return the email I already Frost-ing sent to you.

Whistler 186,138 44
04/18/2011 01:12 AM

Miele Capricorn canister? If I'm going to spend over $1000 on a vacuum cleaner, it better suck like a needy, unstable, fat attention whore.

Not that I'm naming names.

Cadbury Creme Midgets 96,156 48 hangs head in shame
04/18/2011 01:15 AM

Sheesh, OK, I'll email you but I didn't think I was creating that much drama. It's just that I watched the new Harry Potter today and I've had oral on my mind since.

Sock Popstar 18,572 33
04/18/2011 01:23 AM

I'm pretty sure your mom Bill's ex-wife Pram wouldn't appreciate you calling her an attention whore, Whistler.

Whistler 186,138 44
04/18/2011 01:36 AM

My mom is not an attention whore.

Ravos, I haz one 63,472 21
04/18/2011 09:10 AM

Coming late to this party makes me a sad panda. Or makes panda sad, I'm sure.

What I don't understand, and why I posted all of this, is why someone would put up an open invitation to an event when there are obvious exclusions.

Because its funny. And guess what this is? A comedy site.

turtle10 42,578 26
04/18/2011 09:49 AM

I decided I'm not going to insult lobster. I was on a soul searching sabbatical when her whole bs thing went on. From what I have seen, arguing/bashing her on the internet is like the Special Olympics...Frost-ing retarded hilarious. I will stick to picking on Pam ....stupid autocorrect....that should be pram but it sort of still fit ...anyways I digress. Lobster isn't the only attention whore here, nor is she the only outcast. I say we just continue on with what made this site so glorious....boobs cubicle pranks ... errr I'll get back to that.


Lastly.....not everyone is always included in everything. Just remember that and move on. There are other tho.ga to care about .... like why the hell I can't learn to use my touch screen phone keyboard effectively.

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
04/18/2011 10:00 AM

like why the hell I can't learn to use my touch screen phone keyboard effectively.


I'm thinking pudgy fingers.

turtle10 42,578 26
04/18/2011 10:08 AM

your wife liked them


I'm sorry Bill. That wasn't nice. I was going to say you liked them but I didn't want to let our secret out.


I lashed out because the truth hurts.

Dianasaur and her pile of panties 57,835 109
04/18/2011 12:28 PM

Expansion of prior post:

I generally try to avoid drama on this site. I don't come here to argue with people, I come here because I love to laugh, and this site makes me laugh. It's why I keep coming back, day after day.

I definitely don't try to, or intend to, instigate any sort of drama on board. This is not the place for that sort of thing. This is a comedy site. Anything I post, unless someone manages to really get me riled up (and it takes a lot), is meant to be funny, to some if not all the people reading it.

I received your email on my birthday. I was busy and I ignored it. Then, I wasn't sure how to answer it because this was originally planned as a small get together between people who've already met and gotten along well. But based on the fact that it is expensive to travel anywhere, we decided to last-minute-like put notice on the board, in case having more people attend would be better motivation for others to join in. I was honestly sort of shocked that you'd think we would want to hang out with you based on your entire history on the board.

Dianasaur and her pile of panties 57,835 109
04/18/2011 12:28 PM

When you posted in that thread about wanting to go, SHP was straightforward but discreet. Rather than taking a hint, you decided to wait about 2 days, and then post a huge attention-whoring thread about how disappointed you were and how we should pity you and how you are really a nice person and why doesn't anyone get that? Never mind that your "shtick" is...what. An annoying little girl? Shticks aren't a thing on board. Enhancements of our personalities are. On the internet, I am a girl who perhaps likes showing off a bit too much, who is nerdy, and who is a relatively nice person, if not too timid. Those who have met me can probably attest to the fact that I am pretty much exactly like that in real life.

Unfortunately, I received messages from a number of people who privately expressed their displeasure in you attending, because based on their interactions with you online if they had known earlier that you were to attend they would not have purchased their tickets or hotel rooms.

I am not a fan of being confronted so passive-aggressively like this and being forced to defend myself in public, rather than in private, as it could have been had you not make a completely new thread. It is not me who was "publicly humiliat[ing]" you.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/18/2011 12:35 PM

I didn't read this thread after I figured out what it was about, so if I am repeating what someone else wrote, Frost off, I don't care. Holy Shakespeare, what a Carrollwad. Hey John, I wasn't invited to something that isn't a GAB event but is being put on by GABbers and I want to go. I don't want to make a real issue of it, but I hope my passive aggressive whining will allow me to get an invite so I can be part of the cool crowd.


I like your new perfume..."Desperation" By Daddy Issues

Spaghetti Is Fine, Thanks. 18,572 33
04/18/2011 12:38 PM

A polite, "no thank you" in a return email would have prevented all this.
It's not that Frost-ing hard. I don't know why people have such a hard time saying no. It doesn't make you a bitch. It makes you assertive.

/seriously

Dianasaur and her pile of panties 57,835 109
04/18/2011 12:40 PM

A polite "Did you get my email? I haven't heard back from you in 3 days" would have worked just as well. It's not that Frost-ing hard.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/18/2011 12:41 PM

I was hard, but then this thread was started. Hopefully someone Dianadas this thread.

Spaghetti Is Fine, Thanks. 18,572 33
04/18/2011 12:41 PM

I do believe that "Diana, I sent you an email" was pretty obvious when I said it. It wasn't that hard. You're right.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/18/2011 12:41 PM

NOT LOBSTER.

Spaghetti Is Fine, Thanks. 18,572 33
04/18/2011 12:43 PM

Even your own husband agreed with me that it was a dick move on your part to post a private event in a seemingly public manner.

The High Priestess 58,986 29
04/18/2011 12:45 PM

This thread is a like a body in a coffin. Very sad, but at the same time you're dying to try out your new venquilirism act.

The Mailman 176,467 56
04/18/2011 12:49 PM

On the internet, I am a girl who perhaps likes showing off a bit too much, who is nerdy, and who is a relatively nice person, if not too timid. Those who have met me can probably attest to the fact that I am pretty much exactly like that in real life.

I can attest to all of that except for the "showing off a bit too much."

So far.

It's Frogpop, Frogpop 173,153 25
04/18/2011 12:50 PM

Do you want a list of all the things you've done that I think were dick moves? Cause I don't have that much time on my hands. Also, plenty of other people here pointed them out as they were happening and that did nothing to change your behavior.

I calls 'em like I see 'em, but someone else making one mistake doesn't make your years of drama and emotional train-wrecks even-steven. Nice try though.

Spaghetti Is Fine, Thanks. 18,572 33
04/18/2011 12:50 PM

Sock Popstar 11,400 14
04/15/2011 09:41 AM

I sent you an e-mail, Diana. I think you will like it.

The Mailman 176,467 56
04/18/2011 12:53 PM

Everybody else 1,560,965 352
04/18/2001 12:52 PM

We don't like you.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/18/2011 12:53 PM

While my client's husband stated that posting a public announcement to a private event is "kind of a dick move", he also qualified his statement by adding "with the number of hard dicks this place regularly has, I guess you have to be prepared for that kind of thing from time to time."

Further, he offered what I find to be sound advice by suggesting you "wait for the next official plug-whatever-Hargrave-is-currently-working-on event". More importantly, in the event that another unofficial gathering takes place which you want to attend, it was also suggested you "spend the time between now and then being funny and not inviting your racist boyfriends to join the board."

Now, Mr. Frogpop, who has proven to be a credible witness in the past, has made suggestions which I believe you should follow. While there is no chance of you being extended an invitation to the currently planned event, following these suggestions might raise people's impression of you enough that you will be invited to future events.

Also, stop being a whiney bitch, go make friends in real life and stop worrying about an internet comedy board. Because if you do keep this up, the "We Lied About A Gathering and Lobster Showed Up" Prank will be one for the ages.

Drewcifer the Goatjacker 46,366 58
04/18/2011 02:11 PM

The good news: You've gotten two trophies for starting this thread.






Yay trophies.

Shellebelle 77,143 25
04/18/2011 02:37 PM

I'll still make fun of you but at least I won't have to imagine Shells tits while I do it.

Wow, that's not creepy at all. And when did you ever see my tits? (Want to? Email in profile)




I'm not going to get into the drama of the whole New Orleans thing, because it's not really any of my business. I created enough drama a couple of weeks ago and am trying to stay quiet because I am still feeling like an ass about it.


I have emailed with Lobster on facebook a few times and I think she is a good person. She has made a lot of mistakes and is trying to put her life back together for the sake of her child. I respect that. This is just my opinion. I am in no way trying to change anyone else's opinion or say she should/should not be included. As I said, that is none of my business.


I won't be able to join in on the New Orleans fun, because I will be hosting GABCleveland. At least, I will if Undies' back gets better in time. Anyone else who is close by and/or interested is welcome to join in. Cleveland rocks!

Jeeni jelly beani 47,815 51
04/18/2011 02:37 PM

The following is not funny and holy christ it is long. Ignore if you wish to laugh.

I admit, I didn't read everything that went on with this recent Shakespearestorm, and it's by design. I don't want to get wrapped up in something that really doesn't improve my life or make me laugh. It's part of the reason I don't watch the evening news, but look to ZUG to get news through rose-colored fetus-blood-colored glasses.

I empathize with both sides here.

I'm not a quick thinker, but I will think very deeply on things and look to come up with something balanced and calm when I do respond. I'm not a fighter and discord really upsets me.

If I were Dianada and someone whom I didn't care for asked to be a part of something I was organizing, I might be in shell-shock to receive such an email - and not able to respond right away.

In fact, I was in this position recently, when a bully wanted to be featured on a blog where I share creative people I believe in. I was in shock with how bold she was in passive-aggressively forcing her hand, but I knew I definitely didn't want her to be featured on my site because I would never recommend a bully.

Thankfully, friends shared their perspectives with me and were so helpful - it allowed me to assertively and confidently respond to her.

(continued...)

Jeeni jelly beani 47,815 51
04/18/2011 02:39 PM

Because this is a community built on text, people's personas can be overblown or misinterpreted on board, and no attempt to fix it on board will ever work. Lobster, I know you are tired of people picking on you for the same Shakespeare. Just ignore it if it bothers you.

I know if I were, say - Trae, I probably wouldn't be hanging around a place that constantly comments on how huge my vagina is. For Mung, I'm sure he doesn't appreciate being labeled as the guy who did that Hitler thing (or maybe he's ok with it) - and for TTJ, I know she got tired of the bologna jokes. I feel badly I used the comedy crutch of picking on her for that once. I didn't realize at the time it was a crutch, but her reaction opened my eyes to what it was. It was uninspired, hurtful and lazy.

The same jokes get old and people want to move on.

There are always going to be people who repeat the same jokes and references. [yawn] Just let that Shakespeare bounce off you and don't Frost-ing take it personally. It will show.

(christ, continued again...)

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/18/2011 02:39 PM

Get in the Frost-ing kitchen and make me a sandwich.

Ravos, I haz one 63,472 21
04/18/2011 02:40 PM

following these suggestions might raise people's impression of you enough that you will be invited to future events.

Doubtful

Jeeni jelly beani 47,815 51
04/18/2011 02:46 PM

Lobster, when you are comfortable being yourself and are not wanting to fit in at all costs, you will be more respected. Take a look at Bill. That guy is Frost-ing crazy - but he's funny and quick to dispense humor. He's unique and completely comfortable with himself & it shows.

Don't be insecure and willing to change your values to be a part of the crowd. (But you can SMYT anytime... I promise I won't pass them on.)

[crossing her fingers behind her back]

Anyway ~ trying to blend in a futile attempt, and from my experience I will always suggest to anyone who is not enjoying ZUG to do as I do: Take a break - get outside and enjoy the sunshine. If it's nice outside, go barefoot and hug trees and enjoy friends and family. Make your world good again. It is only then, that you will see the unbalanced / obsessive perspective that you had on board.

Be the Lobster.

Be yourself. Bring the funny & don't look to fit in at all costs. It will just make everyone unhappy.

There will always be people who won't like you, and people who will like you. Be ok with that & you'll be much better off.

Ok, I'm done!!

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/18/2011 02:49 PM

Nice after school special recap Meredith Baxter Birney.

Drewcifer the Goatjacker 46,366 58
04/18/2011 02:50 PM

Wow. It smells like vagina in here.

Shellebelle 77,143 25
04/18/2011 02:51 PM

Get in the Frost-ing kitchen and make me a sandwich.

Me?

No sandwiches today. I am making homemade chicken and dumplings with mashed potatoes though. You're welcome to stop by. No martini and slippers, but I do have Guinness and give great foot massages.

Dogs Akimbo 211,626 32
04/18/2011 03:14 PM

ZuG: Where Bill the Squirrel is a role model.

Ravos, I haz one 63,472 21
04/18/2011 03:14 PM

If it's nice outside, go barefoot and hug trees

What are you, a hippy?

Be the Lobster.

That is the worst advice I've ever heard.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/18/2011 03:19 PM

No sandwiches today. I am making homemade chicken and dumplings with mashed potatoes though. You're welcome to stop by. No martini and slippers, but I do have Guinness and give great foot massages.


Mashed potatoes...Guinness...ITS A TRAP...a delicious trap.

Just send naked photos of yourself and I will forgive you for teasing me with Guinness and potatoes.

Chocolate Easter Panda 181,795 70
04/18/2011 03:23 PM

Guinness and potatoes

Add some Catholic guilt and a car bomb and you have a square meal for an Irishman.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/18/2011 03:26 PM

Potatoes aren't square, dumbass. Go read a book.

Shellebelle 77,143 25
04/18/2011 03:26 PM

Wow. It smells like vagina in here.

Close your legs then.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21 checks email
04/18/2011 03:33 PM

I think its smells because Shelle's a Poe.

Shellebelle 77,143 25
04/18/2011 03:53 PM

I think its smells because Shelle's a Poe.


I think it smells because Drewcifer has used that "it smells like vagina" joke about a dozen times. Get some new material already, asswipe. You actually have to have been near a vagina to know what it smells like.


Also, someone didn't check their email.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/18/2011 03:55 PM

That's true, someone didn't.

Drewcifer the Goatjacker 46,366 58
04/18/2011 04:14 PM

I just call 'em like I smell 'em.

Nachos 57,521 23
04/18/2011 04:22 PM

Shticks aren't a thing on board. Enhancements of our personalities are.

Well that's me royally screwed then.

Shellebelle 77,143 25
04/18/2011 04:30 PM

I just call 'em like I smell 'em.

Just be sure not to call 'em when you're in bed with your wife. Saying "It smells like vagina in here" tends to ruin the mood.

Drewcifer the Goatjacker 46,366 58
04/18/2011 04:42 PM

Hey, thanks for the advice, Shell! I'll give it a try and let you know how it turns out.

Spring Chix at Tractor Supply 286,647 61
04/18/2011 04:53 PM

New Orleans called.

Her opinion, Katrina was pretty bad, but this looks worse.

Undies with English Teeth 101,398 77
04/18/2011 05:04 PM

An open letter to all persons on GAB:

Hello! I've noticed you've all become caught up in drama. Here's how to avoid Frostaroos like this in the future:

1) Don't post a public invitation if everyone isn't invited.

2) This is the internet. People here are introverted weirdos with no concept of what correct social behavior is supposed to be like. Keep this in mind so you won't be surprised when they demonstrate this lack.

3) Bitching and complaining will never make things better, whether you do it publicly or privately. It will just make you feel worse, and show everyone that you haven't learned how to deal with issues as an adult - which, if it's happening on the internet, should be something they already knew. (See factiod #2.)

n) Treat other people how you would like to be treated. Seriously put yourself into that person's situation, and then steal all their stuff.

b) Do not ever mention my name as someone who will back you up, because all it makes me want to do is back a truck up over your face. (See factoid #2.)

9) I can't math.

Thanksyerapeach,

Panties

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/18/2011 05:10 PM

Its too late to try to take the high road.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
04/18/2011 05:22 PM

I was going to sit this one out until I saw this:

1) Don't post a public invitation if everyone isn't invited.

You know what? Frost that. All that happened was someone started a thread that said "some of us are getting together in June. Email me for details."

That was not an official invitation of any kind. "Email me for details."

You know what are in the details? "If you have not yet been able to prove that you are a decent member of this community than you are not invited."

Tada! Details.

End of story.

So Lobster, stop being a Frost-ing drama queen and start being a decent member of this here community of funny people and maybe if you can pull that off the next time there's a meetup you'll be welcome. If you're really the nice person you say you are then maybe you can tone down the schtick a little bit. As you can probably tell it's not really working very well.

Now everyone just stop Frost-ing talking about this. All that needed to be said has been said already. Don't feed the trolls.

Undies with English Teeth 101,398 77
04/18/2011 05:22 PM

I don't know about that BIG. I mean, you can tell from my post that I have a truck.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/18/2011 05:24 PM

And a van down by the river.

Undies with English Teeth 101,398 77
04/18/2011 05:28 PM

Sorry Nutters, but I have to disagree with you on that. I see it as a public invitation.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
04/18/2011 05:32 PM

Oh, did I fail in my reading comprehension? Please point me to where it said everyone was invited and I will issue a retraction.

I don't like to be wrong on the internet, you see.

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
04/18/2011 05:35 PM

Me also. Though I don't agree with the fact that she posted her diatribe on a COMEDY SITE, I agree with the general context of what she said.


So, nener, nener, nener!

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
04/18/2011 05:37 PM

So yeah. Some of us are going to New Orleans at the beginning of June. Do you want to go too? Email me for details. dianamarieATgmail


Sounds pretty open to me.

Undies with English Teeth 101,398 77
04/18/2011 05:38 PM

So yeah. Some of us are going to New Orleans at the beginning of June. Do you want to go too? Email me for details. dianamarieATgmail

Undies with English Teeth 101,398 77
04/18/2011 05:39 PM

er, yeah, what Bill said.

Thud 68,525 19
04/18/2011 05:40 PM

I've lost track of where this thread is going. Could we start again?

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/18/2011 05:40 PM

You two are going to New Orleans? No thanks.

But seriously, no thanks.


I am playing old school Nintendo games on vNES.com, I used to be so much better when I was younger.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
04/18/2011 05:42 PM

It's an open invitation to email Diana, so I guess you guys are correct.

Undies with English Teeth 101,398 77
04/18/2011 05:44 PM

I'm not going to New Orleans. I'm having mashed potatoes at Shell's house that weekend.

Undies with English Teeth 101,398 77
04/18/2011 05:52 PM

That thread was seen as an open invitation by more than just Lobster. I don't see how that point can be argued. Obviously people are now saying that wasn't the intention, but it was interpreted that way, and now there is this Shakespeare storm.

Not posting about it and privately messaging invitations would have been the better way to go. Unless of course you think this kind of drama is preferable? I sure as hell do not.

PRAM 80,728 42
04/18/2011 05:52 PM

So yeah. Some of us are going to New Orleans at the beginning of June. Do you want to go too? Don't bring Pram. dianamarieATgmail

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/18/2011 05:55 PM

Hey, who is going to start the Po' GABbers Fund thread so that we can invite JK2K, and someone better tell Jilly about it.

I am The Lobster. 18,572 33
04/18/2011 05:57 PM

Oh my freaking god I said that like 900 times right in this very thread. Thank you, Undies.

Shellebelle 77,143 25
04/18/2011 05:59 PM

I will send boob pics to anyone who stops posting in this thread. For the love of God, please.


Also, I plan to work "Frostaroo" into as many conversations as possible for the next 48 hours.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/18/2011 06:04 PM

Will you also try to work "fingerbang the religion out of her" into a conversation?

PacificPhi - Back In Action 1,860 6
04/18/2011 06:50 PM

Is there any chance you guys can plan something in Southern CA next time? I really feel like watching the rails come off the train in person HAS to be better...

Thud 68,525 19
04/18/2011 06:58 PM

It's usually east coast, sometimes in the south.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
04/18/2011 07:29 PM

Not posting about it and privately messaging invitations would have been the better way to go.

Well, then I'm partially to blame for that as I was the one who suggested opening it up to more than the few people who initially conceived of the idea. Personally, I would have been more up front about the "no annoying people" rule but Diana is a lot nicer than I am.

Again I will reiterate that nowhere in Diana's post did she claim it was an open invitation. I'm sorry you read it that way. Perhaps that microchip the aliens left inside you has messed with your reading comprehension.

Unless of course you think this kind of drama is preferable

As far as I know, any drama here has been started and perpetuated by people who are not coming. Myself included. As for the person who started this thread, from what I understand drama is, you know, part of her schtick. I'm sure she's much more likable in person. Shame we'll never find out.

I sure as hell do not.

Then why are you posting in this thread? If you're already planning on not coming and you're not a fan of drama, what possible reason do you have for even commenting? Unless you're not being entirely honest about that "not liking drama" thing.

Shellebelle 77,143 25
04/18/2011 08:08 PM

I've seen my own boobs anyway.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
04/18/2011 08:15 PM

ONe more thing and then I'm done.

Straw, you totally Frost-ing win the internet for that animated .gif. I'm still laughing about it an hour later. I have no idea why but it's the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.

MungChamp 35,891 35
04/18/2011 08:18 PM

9) I can't math.

Worst Homeschool Teacher Evar!

Hay Fever 98,023 37
04/18/2011 08:49 PM

Tickets to Cleveland are twice as expensive as tickets to New Orleans. That's it, next year I'm hosting GabRichmond. There's not much to do here, but I suppose we can all go to the Poe Museum and snicker a lot.

Undies with English Teeth 101,398 77
04/18/2011 08:55 PM

As far as I know, any drama here has been started and perpetuated by people who are not coming.

This drama was started because Lobster wanted to attend. I doubt she would have sent an email if she didn't really plan on going.

My statement stands that I read it as an open invitation. Several other people read it that way as well. You are saying it wasn't supposed to be read that way - fine. I still fail to see why it couldn't have been handled off board - it would have avoided people from becoming upset. Who exactly did you want to invite that wasn't already receiving emails about it?

I liken this as coming to school, telling everyone about your really cool slumber party and then passing out invitations in front of the people you don't want there. What's worse though - in that scenario, people can tell who isn't coming. Here, you're saying that people were supposed to guess whether or not Diana would want them there. What is the point of that, other than to make people feel bad about themselves?

I was going to say that the open invitation thing is just a tiny part of it, and that Lobster is to blame for all this bullShakespeare. All she had to do is be a little more patient, and sent Diana a follow-up email. But, if what you are saying is correct - it wouldn't have helped. This Shakespearestorm would still exist, because the answer was always going to be "you're not cool enough to hang out with me and my friends." In which case, again, I say this event never should have been posted.


The only thing that makes this less high school, Nutbutter, is that you haven't stolen my boyfriend yet.

Matt Damon 4U 80,728 42
04/18/2011 10:19 PM

Who exactly did you want to invite that wasn't already receiving emails about it?

dinesh 24,862 16
04/18/2011 10:49 PM

for the record, i have always enjoyed talking to lobster, though i haven't done so in a year or two. i wish so many people here weren't so invested in hating her in perpetuity, but such is life.

next time i'm in TX i'll look her up myself. none of the fun, and all of the awkwardness! yay!

Jeeni jelly beani 47,815 51
04/18/2011 11:07 PM

Well, there goes your chance for Shell-boob pictures, dinesh.

Jeeni jelly beani 47,815 51
04/18/2011 11:08 PM

Mine too.

Sonofabitch.

Manhole 21,658 29
04/18/2011 11:12 PM

That dog looks like he just ran across Lord Voldemort.

Pubah 56,851 18
04/19/2011 01:10 AM

Kansas City now has a 'All Comedy, All the Time' station (102.5). I no longer come here for laughs...

*And applause breaks out in the room*

...I come here from force of habit.

*Cat Calls and dissappointed sighs*

Hay Fever 98,023 37
04/19/2011 08:43 AM

YES!!!!!! My deer gif accomplished what no other post of mine since 2006 has accomplished - it broke my top five!!!!!!!

*bursts into tears of joy*

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/19/2011 12:14 PM

Hey Undies, I just realized I was responding to you and not Lobster. She changes icons too often.

That's all.

Fratberry 283,052 53
04/20/2011 01:35 PM

I will send boob pics to anyone who stops posting in this thread.

Richard110511 8 4
05/11/2011 02:11 AM

I've always liked the retarded girls too

Overweight elitist bitch Snork 45,655 12
05/11/2011 02:46 AM

you are now going to be all "I have it in writing that SHP & CO. are huge elitist bitches

Aw, come on, you're not that huge.