Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/19/2011 02:05 PM

Heh, "neediness vortex".

Shellebelle 77,143 25
04/19/2011 02:13 PM

Look, it's a dick in a rolling box!


Looking forward to seeing the next part of Bill's misadventures.

I am The Lobster. 18,572 33
04/19/2011 03:50 PM

Cute, except, I drive one of these



so why would I need to rent a faggot ass smart car?

TheVelveTurd 6,553 10
04/19/2011 03:59 PM

For comedic effect... you know, comedy site and whatnot. Or have you forgotten. Be prepared for your character to do many things not based in reality. For laughs, fun, the worthless bullShakespeare that this forum is really about. In other words. Take the stick out of your ass and smack yourself across the face with it. Remember I draw the pictures, I write the dialog, I CONTROL YOU ALL!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHHAHHHHHAAA......ahem. sorry...

I am The Lobster. 18,572 33
04/19/2011 04:01 PM

I play the Sims3, and I made a Velveturd character. I might have to remove all the doors and windows in your house and set it on fire.

WHO CONTROLS WHOM, BITCH!!!!

Jeeni jelly beani 47,815 51
04/19/2011 04:35 PM

Hey! Who do I have to piss-off to get a cameo in one of these?

Jeeni jelly beani 47,815 51
04/19/2011 04:37 PM

Lobster, I noticed you didn't complain about the trailer house.

I am The Lobster. 18,572 33
04/19/2011 04:44 PM

That's because I live in one. Well, a better one than that. It's a 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom, 2 living area double wide on 10 acres.

TheVelveTurd 6,553 10
04/19/2011 04:45 PM

It'll happen Jeeni, Oh,and thanks for tip on pixel sizes.

Drewcifer the Goatjacker 46,366 58
04/19/2011 04:47 PM

It aint livin' if it aint double-wide!

I am The Lobster. 18,572 33
04/19/2011 04:48 PM

Turd Boy also gave me a terrible hair cut, and it's too long. And my boobs are bigger than that. But I was gonna keep that til myself because the faggot-ass smart car was bad enough.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/19/2011 04:51 PM

Why does this remind me of when Borat dated the fat hooker in the movie?

Cadbury Creme Midgets 96,156 48
04/19/2011 04:52 PM

SUV and a double wide?

Child support and welfare have been good to you!

I am The Lobster. 18,572 33
04/19/2011 05:06 PM

You guys have obviously never been to Texas. Land ownership is more valuable than any house, so a lot of us who have decent amounts of land buy nice, clean mobile homes to put on that land, and switch the house out for a better one every 10 or so years.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
04/19/2011 05:12 PM

Sounds like you're running a Meth lab.

Sarah Palin (TM) 4,366 10
04/19/2011 05:14 PM

Bill!!! You came!!!

Not the words I'd ideally want to hear from Lobster, if I were Bill.

I am The Lobster. 18,572 33
04/19/2011 05:18 PM

Sounds like you need to be tossed out a window.

TheVelveTurd 6,553 10
04/19/2011 05:47 PM

Lobster, I noticed you didn't complain about the trailer house.

Notice she didn't have any problems with the toddler foraging in the trashcan in the background either, but get her car or her hair wrong and...

Undies with English Teeth 101,398 77
04/19/2011 06:33 PM

I Frost-ing love these. I wanna be in one too! Have Bill call me at 3 in the morning like he does every week. Only, instead of letting it go to voicemail like I do in real life, let me disembowel him remotely.

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
04/19/2011 09:28 PM

I wish I could draw. You would be so Frost-ing done. Awesome Shakespeare DICK!




E-mail me, I've got some interesting ideas for you.

Hay Fever 98,023 37
04/19/2011 09:36 PM

I would seriously for real buy a t-shirt with that last panel on it.

TheVelveTurd 6,553 10
04/19/2011 10:13 PM

Sorry Bill, I'm singular in my vision. Besides it would be kind of weird you giving me help to bust your balls. I've got some new ideas for future comics so you may get left alone for a little while after I finish TAOBTS episode 3.

I will give you a hint about my future project though. I'll be poking a little fun at Mr Hargrave. My working title is When Viagra Pranks Go Wrong.

Jeeni jelly beani 47,815 51
04/19/2011 10:36 PM

I kinda miss the tail you drew on Bill in earlier issues.

TheVelveTurd 6,553 10
04/19/2011 11:03 PM

He only puts the tail on when he's alone at home on Zug, wackin' to Shell Belle pics.

The Tax Man Cometh 5,582 10
04/19/2011 11:08 PM

Wait ... You mean there's method to his madness?

Jeeni jelly beani 47,815 51
04/19/2011 11:53 PM

No, Madness is someone completely different.

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
04/20/2011 12:57 AM

Wait? You thought I meant ideas about comics? I meant ideas about how you could suck a bucket of dick, ass wipe. I don't need to resort to talent to get my clickies.

I am The Lobster. 18,572 33
04/20/2011 01:35 AM

Apparently you do.

TheVelveTurd 6,553 10
04/20/2011 07:50 AM

So I guess you're happy with pity clickies then.

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
04/20/2011 07:56 AM

I'm happy with any clickies. The pity ones taste better anyway. Kinda like hope and desperation mixed with misery and despair.

Fratberry 283,052 53
04/20/2011 08:46 AM

My other car is a box (and thanks to Al for the photoshopping)

Fratberry 283,052 53
04/20/2011 08:48 AM

Seriously, though, that was some funny Shakespeare, er... turd.

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
04/20/2011 09:02 AM

I've got some new ideas for future comics so you may get left alone for a little while after I finish TAOBTS episode 3.


Darn, I thought it would take longer for you to realize you were fixating on a guy.

TheVelveTurd 6,553 10
04/20/2011 09:10 AM

I'm glad everyone is enjoying them as much as I enjoy making them. I think I've found my new calling. I had always wanted to be a portraiture artist, but this is way more fun. Part 2 is shaping up very nicely, and Bill you should be happy I'm elevating you to celebrity status. Just don't expect any likeness rights money if I start making anything off of these. You can always do personal appearances and product endorsements though.

Shellebelle 77,143 25
04/20/2011 09:33 AM

I CONTROL YOU ALL!!!!!!

Can you make my bladder behave itself then? I'm tired of changing my undies (not Undies) every time I laugh. Thanks!

Fratberry 283,052 53
04/20/2011 03:45 PM

Okay, so it's all about me now. I think Chickens did this one...

Fratberry 283,052 53
04/20/2011 03:46 PM

Sorry. I can't remember if everyone had seen that. Plus I'm at work now and stoned out of my gourd because I forgot I had taken my mid-day medication and took it again. w00t.

Shellebelle 77,143 25
04/20/2011 03:54 PM

Aww, Frat, you just made me pee myself.


I was having problems with forgetting if I took my meds and taking them again, so I went and bought one of those old fart pill organizers. Admittedly, I miss those days when I had a double round of meds.

AlabasterJenkins 355 8 Remember I draw the pictures, I write the dialog, I CONTROL YOU ALL!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHHAHHHHHAAA......ahem. sorry...
04/23/2011 10:51 PM

ah mista turd, you da smoovest...

Dogs Akimbo 211,626 32 decides to help out the new guy
04/23/2011 11:12 PM

Yo, Gypsum. You want to use the Italic for quoting someone, and the Action tag for piercing the fourth wall and being self-explanatory and Shakespeare.

Evidently you can make text bold and [size=24]larger[/size], but I evidently suffer from the same malady here as in real life and can't make it as big as others.