KChiki, Concert Reviewer - Vertical Horizon A comedy article
by KChikita Rexasaurus 128,451 98 04/22/2011 10:17 AM 304 views
Last night I scored a free ticket to go see Vertical Horizon. What? Who? Come on, really? Where were all you people in 1999?
Anyway, one of the cool things about living in a city that can't seem to even sell out a Kenny Chesney concert in the SOUTH is that we have a few really good, small live music venues.
Also, Lynyrd Skynyrd is from here. FREEEEEBIRD!!!
The Freebird Live is a great place to see a concert because it's not a hole in the wall, but it's not big enough that it has nosebleed seats. Plus, I once saw 30 Seconds to Mars play there and Jared Leto climbed one of the columns and hung from the indoor balcony, all while continuing to sing. Now THAT'S rockstar. I think Judy Van Zant probably crapped her pants.
The BAD thing about living in a city that can't seem to even sell out a Stone Temple Pilots concert in a SMALL amphitheatre is that the crowds that come out to concerts are generally smaller than most national acts are used to playing for. This usually goes one of two ways.
Either the band gets all pissed off that only 100 people showed up to their show when the venue can accommodate up to 700, and they put on a half-assed performance, look completely BORED and refuse to perform because they're busy thinking of ways to make their tour manager's life even more miserable than it already is.
OR, the band sees the opportunity for a small, intimate show with an engaged crowd and actually (GASP)HAVE A GOOD TIME playing a venue that reminds them of how they got started.
I'd never seen Vertical Horizon perform live so I really wasn't sure how this was going to play out, especially when the opening band finished their set and about 1/4 of the crowd left.
Add to that fact that there was apparently some sort of problem getting their gear to the venue so they slapped one of their own stickers onto the front of the opening band's bass drum with the intention of using that band's gear, and you can see why I was fearing the worst.
However, to their credit, they put on an AWESOME performance.
I was close enough that I could almost see their mothers' disapproval that they didn't all go to medical school.
Matt, the lead singer, told stories about the songs they played that were actually witty and interesting.
Rockstars aren't supposed to be WITTY! He's doing this all wrong.
Not only that, but they stuck around after the show instead of immediately going back to the bus.
What this picture doesn't show is my hand firmly gripping his buttocks.
Not bad, Vertical Horizon. Not bad at all. Two bananas up.
UnderWhere? 101,398 77 looks at clipboard
04/22/2011 12:41 PM
I'm sorry to tell you this Kchiki, but according to Chance, we have to strictly enforce the "NKOTB Only" rules around here. Your concert review must be removed, unless you change all photos to reflect the fact that you met and fell in love with Jordan Knight.
I dunno, I'm not sure if I look like this guy this guy looks like me. I think I'm much taller. I guess I'll have to get a picture taken of me and KChiki in the same exact pose(*) to show you the difference.
(*) this includes KChiki firmly gripping my buttocks.
You know the pudgy thing was a joke, right? I am a little paranoid lately (no, really?) You know I love you. Had I gotten to pose for a picture with you, I would have been squeezing your ass. I bet it's not pudgy at all.
I really wish there was a place in the Midwest that wasn't a bar to see bands at. I will admit to seeing some bars with some pretty impressive lighting, though.
From the look on his face, I can tell that guy totally thinks he's about to go back to the bus for some KChiki action. I'd like to see the photo taken of him about five minutes after this one.
My company recently sent out an email saying that they needed at least 20 people for the Weight Watchers class, and that the room could hold a total of 25 people.
What they didn't mention is that the room holds 40 for other events.
Frost you for saying Frost you and telling me you have feelings because I have feelings too, you know.
And a preemptive Frost you should you decide to say Frost you in response to me saying Frost you and that I have feelings for you saying Frost you and that you have feelings.
Store
128,451 
98 
181,311 
35
