Avocados (and peaches) VS. Melons
A comedy conversation
by Declan as Doug Wilson  131,891  36
07/01/2011 11:21 AM 151 views
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I like avocados. A great deal. I eat them frequently. Sandwiches, salads, guacamole..... even just on a plate with a few drops of soy sauce.
I like them not just for their pleasant, mild flavour, their acceptable status among the nutritionista set, or their kicky, groovy, 70s colour scheme, which totally reminds me of my 1970s teen years. The Hass avocado, my preferred cultivar has the black, textured skin, and flesh, that is avocado!
As for peaches.......high style with that orangy-base and red trim. A perfectly ripened, locally grown peach is a dessert in itself. Its fragrance is indeed heavenly.
I like avocados and peaches because they are Frost-ing confident. Yes, confident.
Instead of the gazillion and four seeds that a cantaloupe has, avocados and peaches have ONE seed.
They are the Rat Pack, the Oceans Eleven, the Don Drapers (if you must), of the edible botanical world. Avocados and peaches know what they are about. They are not the least bit worried about their reproduction potential. They are Sinatra, they are Sammy Davis, jr. They are not Bill Murray in Lost in Translation trying to make the crew smile with weak impersonations.
Ring-a-ding-ding.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Funny
7 votes
3.3
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.0
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Declan as Doug Wilson 131,891  36
07/01/2011 11:29 AM
Your secretary, Chickens, is one exceptionally confused individual.
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Funny
5 votes
3.4
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Chris the Rock 249 8
07/01/2011 05:55 PM
Rarely does anything on the internet surprise or disturb me anymore. Alas today is one of those rare circumstances. Congratulations, I think I threw up a little.
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.8
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Marmite's Belly Button Fluff 12,955 12
07/01/2011 06:14 PM
Can someone please explain WHAT.THE.HELL is in that Tranny's pants? That don't look right to me.
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Funny
7 votes
3.9
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Whistler 186,138 44
07/01/2011 09:16 PM
If I'm wrong and there is a heaven, Chickens better hope St. Peter isn't checking everyone's hard drive at the pearly gates.
That's some Frosted up Shakespeare right there.
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Funny
3 votes
3.0
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SIV9939 13,642 16
07/01/2011 10:27 PM
I think the thing in Chicken's picture just birthed a butternut squash.
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
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I am The Lobster. 18,572 33
07/02/2011 11:15 AM
I hate melons also, Declan. They give me the burp-ups, which is like a slow hiccup ending in a melon-tasting burp. Bell peppers do the same thing.
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Funny
4 votes
3.8
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Brad Poynter 36,184 48
07/02/2011 11:19 AM
"Doc, now that my breast implants are all healed up, I'd like to talk to you about horse balls."
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
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Declan as Doug Wilson 131,891 36
07/03/2011 12:57 AM
Now, now, Lobster......
I do not hate melons, I just find them to be terribly amusing. In fact, when I was at the market today, I was looking for a ripe cantaloupe, but there were none.
Going to a Fourth of July potluck-party at Juanita and Quentin's, and am going to take a fruit salad (shut it, Whistler, just shut it already.) Also taking a marinated vegetable salad, and cake or cookies, or both, if I feel ambitious/invincible/generous/stupid.
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