Potentially disturbing question! Sexy relatives?
A comedy article
by MungChamp  35,891  35
07/15/2011 10:22 AM 631 views
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Before you read this: Please don't judge me... I'm just sharing my story because a few of you asked. I wasn't sure if I was ever going to tell anyone about this, but it's been dead around here, so I guess I'll just write it now and regret it later.
First of all, - just for some background: My mom died right when I was born, (she was actually really, really hot- but this isn't about her. I guess that's Frosted up to say, but whatever.) I actually grew up with my dad's family, because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed before I was born. So you can see, my childhood was really kind of messed up.
Anyways, growing up I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister. When I was about 17 or 18 I first noticed that my sister was a hottie.
I don't want to go into too many details about it, but basically what happened is that I accidentally found a video that she made of herself. I knew she didn't make it for me- but I thought she was so Frost-ing beautiful that I watched it twice. I probably would have watched it a hell of a lot more, except that like right around the time I found the video, all this crazy Shakespeare went down and I had to leave home. (My dad's family who I was staying with got in bad trouble with the law. I never talk about it).
Sooo... I was totally lusting after my sister at that point. She was also having bad trouble with the law. She was actually in custody when I left home.
My friend and I went to go pick her up. When I saw her that day, after seeing the video, I have to be honest, I just wanted to Frost her brains out. Looking back on it now, it's pretty messed up- but I think she had feelings for me too. She actually kissed me right after we came to get her... and it wasn't a sisterly kiss, you know? I mean, it wasn't like ridiculously sexual or anything, but it definitely wasn't sisterly.
After we left, we all went to crash with my Sister's friends. On the trip there, my friend sort of implied that he wanted to get with my Sister, and I got a little jealous. He's a good looking guy- and even though she was my sister- I just felt like he was competition. Not much else happened between us for a while except some maybe-sexy hugging.
Pretty much everyone in my life at that point was wanted by the government, so we all moved around a lot. I'm not saying that I'm proud of it or anything, but it was kind of an awesome time.
My friend and my sister never hooked up I don't think- but I thought there was some serious sexual tension going on between them. It was around that time that I got really badly hurt in an accident. It was Frosted up. I almost died. But when I was in recovery my sister came to see me, and out of the clear blue sky she started gives me this awesome, slow, passionate kiss on the lips.
Sadly (although, I guess for the best) nothing ever came of it. We spent some time apart... and I started to get really religious, so I tried not to think of her that way. It was actually going well for a long time- like I was totally over her. But I have to say, like a year or so after all that stuff went down, we were out sailing (not like a date or anything romantic like that), and she was wearing like the hottest bikini I've ever Frost-ing seen and it brought back all the old feelings. Sigh.
A little while later she actually wound up with my friend from before (the sexual tension guy). I can't say I was surprised.
But even after she was shacking up with my friend, there was one time we were at a party... my friend was inside, and my sister and I were outside alone. It was a really intimate moment. I think something might have happened, except that I killed the mood when I told her that Darth Vader was our father and that I had to go face him.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Hilarious
26 votes
4.5
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Hilarious
13 votes
4.0
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Midgets 96,156  48
07/15/2011 10:30 AM
That made me hotter than a crustacean in the shower!
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Hilarious
12 votes
4.5
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Big Metal Panda 181,795 70
07/15/2011 10:30 AM
I HAD A PERFECT LOBSTER JOKE AND YOU RUINED IT.
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Funny
8 votes
3.8
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Big Metal Panda 181,795 70
07/15/2011 10:31 AM
And Frost Midgets, too.
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Hilarious
11 votes
4.5
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Midgets 96,156 48
07/15/2011 10:32 AM
I'm in if you can prove you're my sister.
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Funny
4 votes
3.8
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jeeni loves zucchini 47,815 51
07/15/2011 12:01 PM
Can I judge you after I read that?
I think you're... hilarious!
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Hilarious
12 votes
4.0
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Whistler 186,138 44
07/15/2011 01:06 PM
No matter how you slice it, sex with siblings is just wrong and gross.
Do you hear me, Declan? It's WRONG and GROSS!
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Hilarious
10 votes
4.0
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Manhole 21,658 29
07/15/2011 01:11 PM
I have a younger sister that everybody used to drool over. When I was in high school, there was a handful of guys that would try to get to know me just to get to her. I could see right through them though, I just started talking about nerdy stuff and they ran away. Bunch a wussies if you ask me.
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Funny
6 votes
3.5
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Dave's not here 52,827 16
07/15/2011 01:34 PM
Halfway through I knew a setup was coming, but it was still pretty Frost-ing awesome. 5 orbs and may your lightsaber always extend when you need it to.
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.0
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Declan as Aberforth Dumbledore 131,891 36
07/15/2011 01:43 PM
Well, since you're now thousands of miles away in Arizonal, the point is moot, isn't it, Perfessor?
I'm still not freaked out about it. As long as both (all) parties are of legal age in the jurisdiction, AND contraception is used as necessary, to prevent any three headed snake babies, what's the whoop?
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Funny
9 votes
3.8
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Whistler 186,138 44
07/15/2011 02:09 PM
You've been living in Portage county all your life, bro, and I think the influx of West Virginians into your area has corrupted your sense of what is right and what is just gross.
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
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Declan as Aberforth Dumbledore 131,891 36
07/15/2011 02:13 PM
I didn't say I would engage in such activities. I merely said that I wasn't freaked by it; a small, yet important difference, I believe.
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Hilarious
7 votes
4.1
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The Weasley no one talks about 98,023 37
07/15/2011 02:36 PM
From the second paragraph I knew this was a setup. But it wasn't until right before the last paragraph that I figured out it was Star Wars. I kinda wish I hadn't figured it out, because then the last paragraph would have had a bigger impact.
The funny thing is that none of the specifics like the video, mom dying at birth, or even the hot bikini tipped me off. My brain just kept picking at the whole brother-sister sexual tension aspect until Star Wars came to mind, and then it fell into place.
Well done!!!
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Hilarious
9 votes
4.5
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Manhole 21,658 29
07/15/2011 02:45 PM
This is one of those things that I just completely suck at. I would've had no idea that this was a setup if someone hadn't mentioned it. I though it was all completely true.
I can't believe I just wasted 45 minutes looking thru old SS08 downlinked .jpgs trying to catch a peak of Mung's hot sister.
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Hilarious
11 votes
4.1
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Dogs Akimbo 211,626 32
07/15/2011 04:48 PM
maybe-sexy hugging
I've been searching for decades for a term to describe what I had with grandma. Thanks.
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.6
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Big Metal Panda 181,795 70
07/15/2011 05:00 PM
Since I opened this thread, Scientology ads have been showing up in my sidebar.
Coincidence? I THINK NOT.
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.5
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John Hargrave 128,751 73
07/15/2011 10:10 PM
Hilarious.
I want a sequel where you talk about your feelings for Padme.
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.0
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Declan as Aberforth Dumbledore 131,891 36
07/16/2011 01:30 AM
Padme is ok, but her sister Parvarti is a total bitch.
Plus, Parvarti is always hanging around Lavender, and I think something Sapphic is going on there.
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.0
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Dogs Akimbo 211,626 32
07/16/2011 11:04 AM
Useless without pictures.
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.3
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Frogpop 173,153 25
07/18/2011 02:26 AM
I'm with you Manhole. I thought this was a possibly fake possibly real (but probably fake) story that was intended to come across as real about a hot sister and at the end he made a star wars reference to her which pissed her off, because that's something that socially crippled internerds do, and it usually fails to impress hot girls! If I had reread it from the beginning after just reading the star wars line, I might have gotten it, but this is the internet.. I barely have enough time to read what you people say the first time, let alone a reread. Plus, right after it people started seriously discussing incest, as opposed to, say, DL-44s.
Screw you guys, I'm going to Toshi Station to pick up some power converters.
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Hilarious
8 votes
4.5
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Frogpop 173,153 25
07/18/2011 06:20 AM
Even worse, Diana read to me something very similar to this story off of facebook several months ago, and I got it three or four lines in. So, I guess, facebook incest stories: obviously fake. Zug incest stories: just gross enough to be possibly true, and either way worth some clickies.
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