Disco Bob 4,322 8
07/21/2011 12:03 PM

1. Wear a cup or whatever the tralfamadorian equivalent of ball protection is.
2. If Brad Poynter shows up with his "paintball" gun its a trap, run.

Hydrant-monkey 9,888 23
07/21/2011 12:06 PM

While some may consider it cowardly to hide out until everyone else has eliminated each other and then emerge from hiding the victor, I consider it strategic genius.

Unless the game is capture the flag; in that case, bury your flag so your enemy will never find it and then have your teammates all do the murder/suicide thing. You may not win, but it's better to die than have your flag fall into the hands of the enemy.

Brad Poynter 36,184 48
07/21/2011 12:16 PM

1. If anyone starts talking about rules they are a puss and should be shot right then.

2. If anyone pulls up their shirt to show you where they got hit, shoot them point blank and give them something to really brag about.

3. If you do not have your own gun, expect to be shot repeatedly by the dude who has spent over $5,000 on his kit.

4. If you can sneak up behind the well equipped guy shoot him right where his skull attaches to his neck from point blank. He will probably pass out and you can take his Shakespeare.

5. Take a sharpie (paintball knife) and slip up behind someone. Grab them and slit their throat. If they bitch about rules, see number 1.

Midgets 96,156 48
07/21/2011 12:38 PM

Paint ball is more enjoyable and much less painful when sufficiently drunk.
Because the alcohol will also impair your aim it would be wise to invest in something with a bit of spread.

snowfoxrox 754 6
07/21/2011 12:55 PM

6. Invest in a stock pile of paint grenades (Balloons filled with paint and water) and some fishing line. Booby trap the hell outta the area your hiding the flag.

7. A good tree stand can be a snipers wet dream. The opposition never seem to expect to get shot from above.

8. Take a handful of paintballs and freez em just to be a jerk.

Declan as Aberforth Dumbledore 131,891 36
07/21/2011 01:30 PM

9. Wear clothes that are of discard quality. If left too long, paintball stains don't wash out of clothing.


10. Wear lightweight hikers or decent quality tennis/cross trainers.


Yes, I have played paintball, and no, I was not "killed" immediately. I know this will surprise Whistler, but he's been busy with the baby, and with "training the puppy."

Marmite's Belly Button Fluff 12,955 12
07/21/2011 03:00 PM

Wow I've heard some euphemisms in my time......

Declan as Aberforth Dumbledore 131,891 36
07/21/2011 03:09 PM

Thank you, Marmite.

Fratberry 283,052 53
07/21/2011 03:25 PM

Make your own paintballs and fill them with your jizz.

Marmite's Belly Button Fluff 12,955 12
07/21/2011 03:27 PM

You're welcome,

Love
Miss-states-the-Frost-ing-obvious

Midgets 96,156 48
07/21/2011 03:33 PM

Make your own paintballs and fill them with your jizz.

Or other peoples jizz.

And to really make it interesting, 10% of them should contain AIDS.

Declan as Aberforth Dumbledore 131,891 36
07/21/2011 03:40 PM

You are evil, Midgets, and that is ok.

Chix 286,647 61
07/21/2011 03:57 PM

Insulated camo wear may give you a heat stroke but will act as considerable armor.

Don't get me wrong, it's fun as hell. But what's a little heat stroke compared to this:

Hydrant-monkey 9,888 23
07/21/2011 04:06 PM

Holy crap, are those AIDS welts from the jizz-balls?!

Midgets 96,156 48
07/21/2011 04:20 PM

Only one.

But which one is it?

Dundundun!

Dogs Akimbo 211,626 32
07/21/2011 05:21 PM

11. With paint, I find that a roller can give the best coverage.

Thud 68,525 19
07/21/2011 06:29 PM

Bob, the most important thing to remember is this: never leave a live enemy behind you. Use your knife to finish off any wounded before you advance.


It's permissible under an old codicil to the Burmese second edition of the rules.

Frogpop 173,153 25
07/21/2011 07:50 PM

Aim for the eyeballs. That's where your enemies keep their power.

Spicey McHaggis 117,791 37
07/21/2011 08:42 PM

When taking cover behind a dirt mound, make sure it's not home to a fire ant colony.

Manhole 21,658 29
07/21/2011 08:43 PM

If you're fighting in a wooded area, remember that those things will not penetrate foliage very well. You can freeze your balls to get around this, and gain an advantage over your enemy. They will not completely freeze due to the latex in the paint.

Be careful with rapid fire. As compressed gas discharges, it's temperature will decrease and pressure will drop dramatically. Though they might have some new fangled technology to get around this, I haven't played in years. But keep that in mind.

You can make some cool booby traps out of fishing string and mouse traps.

Also, the guy with the fastest shooting gun usually wins.

Declan as Aberforth Dumbledore 131,891 36
07/21/2011 08:44 PM

Very good counsel, Squire McHaggis.


/sincere.



Gee.

SIV9939 13,642 16
07/21/2011 08:55 PM

Hide behind the fat guy. He will provide decent cover, plus paintballs will sometimes bounce off of fat.

Midgets 96,156 48
07/21/2011 09:45 PM

And you've just explained why everyone who's posted in this thread has been invited to play.

Drewcifer VIVIVI 46,366 58
07/21/2011 10:15 PM

No, everyone who was invited to play were already sent an e-mail.

Declan as Aberforth Dumbledore 131,891 36
07/21/2011 10:43 PM

Believe what you will, SIV.