Graduating Without Honors: The Jack Shakespearete Prank
A funny link
by Dan Seitz  919  12
07/22/2011 11:03 PM 3073 views
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Ethan Rosenberry was an undistinguished student, or at least not distinguished enough to get any scholarships. He does, however, have an excellent sense of humor and his school, apparently, has no proofreaders, as this Bangor Area High School senior showed during graduation.
You see, the school had made the horrible mistake of sending each student a form for their graduation asking any honors or other salient facts that they might wish to announce. Rosenberry, having nothing, decided as a joke to write he'd gotten nothing, putting down the seemingly obvious "Jack Shakespearete Award for Academic Excellence." Then he sent it to the guidance office, which he'd obviously never visited before. If he had, he would have realized that the stereotypes are true: guidance counselors have no sense of humor.
Which is why he, along with everyone else in the class, sat stunned as their principal proudly announced at graduation that Ethan was taking home the highly prized Jack Shakespearete Award, given only to a lucky few. Fortunately for Rosenberry, his principal had enough of a sense of humor to give him only a stern reprimand ... in exchange for his diploma. We imagine it was of the "very funny, never do this again" variety.
We've got a few more scholarships for enterprising young academic achievers that we'd like the Bangor Area High School to consider:
- The Long Wang Award for Asian Relations, given to the student caught with the most creepy Japanese comics on his computer.
- The Ben Dover Award for Bureaucratic Excellence, given to the student who most enjoys paperwork
- The Richard Head Award for Mature Conduct
And, of course, the John Elmo and Jim Davidson Memorial Award for the Blind, to be given to any school that actually awards these scholarships. It's named after the Bangor Area High School administrative personnel who fell for the prank above, and then tried to punish the student. Because that's just a Shakespearete-y thing to do.
And now the link:
http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2011/06/22/Prank-Jack-S-Hitte-award-for-senior/UPI-36881308755011/
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Like This? Rate It!
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Funny
9 votes
3.9
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Also Recommended on ZUG:
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Hilarious
8 votes
4.0
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Drewcifer VIVIVI 46,366  58
07/22/2011 11:11 PM
So was this the guy that won that Zug scholarship?
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Amusing
2 votes
1.5
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charlie guitea 29 8
07/23/2011 02:50 AM
It might actually be funny if you didn't censor your own site. What the heck is a "Shakespearete"?
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Funny
3 votes
3.0
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UnderWhere? 101,398 77
07/23/2011 06:33 AM
You can shut off the swearbot if you don't like it.
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Chuckleworthy
4 votes
2.5
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Declan as Aberforth Dumbledore 131,891 36
07/23/2011 08:46 AM
Jack Shakespearete.
(Come across with the orbs, now.)
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
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Declan as Aberforth Dumbledore 131,891 36
07/23/2011 08:48 AM
Oh, hell with it.
Come across with the little yellow suckers anyway.
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Funny
6 votes
3.8
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Johnny Plankton 4,102 27
07/25/2011 10:44 PM
Sometimes when I read ZUG, I feel like I'm reading Highlights for Children. Other times Hustler's Chester The Molester. I'm so confused, but generally happy - like a retard.
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