The Fanfiction Experiment, Part 3
A comedy article
by Mark Hill  2,105  7
09/26/2011 09:23 PM 3239 views
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I was writing purposely terrible fanfiction to see if anyone would notice the difference (read Part One here).
Crossover Shipping
The strangest fanfictions are those where two works that have nothing in common are slammed together as an excuse for a character from each one to fall in love. I took this to the extreme and told a romance story based on the unholy union of The Lord of the Rings and Halo. Behold the opening of Master of My Heart.
At first it appeared I had finally been successful -- the reviews were negative! Unfortunately, the criticism I received wasn't helpful; it was hateful.
The first two reviewers were just narrow-minded, while the third clearly misunderstood my literary techniques, and was also kind of a dick. I had no choice but to set the record straight.
I had managed to receive a critique, but it was hardly constructive. How much worse would I have to make my fanfiction before someone politely pointed out that I wasn't a very good writer?
Ah, Frost It
For my final story I abandoned all subtlety and just wrote whatever stupid Shakespeare came to mind. Surely if I penned something flat-out retarded, someone would call me on it, right? Right?
Gaze upon the first chapter of my greatest work to date, Harry Potter and the Uh-Oh, Nazis!
The reaction was... well, see for yourself:
A+ indeed.
Conclusion
My investigation into fanfiction made something very clear: the written word hasn't done this much damage to the world since the publication of Mein Kampf.
Despite writing stories that read like they were penned by a man who recently learned English and was even more recently shot in the brain stem, I didn't receive a single word of constructive criticism. And that's unfortunate -- criticism is important if we want to improve ourselves, discover the value of serious analysis, and learn that our stories about Indiana Jones blowing Bilbo Baggins can become so much more. That's why I welcome you to call me a Coleridgegobbler in the comments section -- it helps me grow as a human being.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Hilarious
17 votes
4.4
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Amusing
3 votes
1.7
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Thud 68,525  19
09/26/2011 10:00 PM
Sage?
Uh, okay.
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Funny
4 votes
3.2
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UnderWhere? 101,398 77
09/27/2011 06:20 AM
stories about Indiana Jones blowing Bilbo Baggins
I am interested in your newsletter fanfic and would like to subscribe.
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
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Chickens 286,647 61
09/27/2011 01:49 PM
The hitler/hp thing had me crying. Well done, sir.
And keep your faggity ideas off my beloved master chief.
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.0
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Sweet Straw McSparkleshorts 98,023 37
09/27/2011 02:10 PM
Speaking as someone who has penned fanfiction, this was great. I think part of the reason you didn't get much criticism is because your writing was entertaining. Sure it was absurd, but that was part of the entertainment.
Now if you will excuse me, I have an appointment to be hypnotized to help me forget the trauma of reading that Snape/Harry ship.
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.0
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John Hargrave 128,751 73
09/29/2011 11:40 PM
I'm going to go ahead and say that the first paragraph of the Hitler Potter story was the funniest thing I've read all year.
Please, I'm begging you, finish that story.
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.3
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KiraKyra 7 4
09/30/2011 06:48 AM
Ah, the sweet memories of my fanfiction years awakened to life once more. The first step has been made. So... no more Legolas and Master Chief?
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
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Ravos-colada 63,472 21
09/30/2011 11:18 AM
The concept of hitler vs. happy potter is literary genius.
But for now, I must return to writing my bible fanfiction.
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