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I have a habit of killing potential new places for lunch. As in, businesses should pay ME to not attempt to eat there.
Evidence #1:
About two years ago, I packed up like, 8 people from work and took them across town to a new cheeseburger place that had been advertised EVERYWHERE. Literally, you couldn't get away from the ads. They were on TV, on the radio, in the local paper, etc. It was called Cheeburger Cheeburger. It sounded awesome, in that you could build your own custom burger with whatever toppings you wanted. So we loaded up two carloads of people and went to check it out.
The place was closed down. As in, OUT OF FREAKING BUSINESS. I got lots of crap about it. Ha ha, whatever.
Evidence #2:
About a year ago, I got lunch coupons from a place called The Rock Bar. I had made friends with the bartender, had eaten dinner there and he had given me coupons to come back for lunch since it was near where I work. I was understandably gunshy and so only rounded up one carload of people THE NEXT MONDAY and drove over there.
It was closed. The sign on the door said they weren't open on Mondays. I got more crap about it based on the previous incident. But we decided to try again the next day.
It was still closed. Even though the signs all said it should have been open.
It went out of business shortly thereafter.
Evidence #3:
Today I was invited by three girls at work to go eat at a new place called French Fry Heaven, which apparently only serves french fries. We piled into the car, all excited about which toppings we were going to get, etc. But once we got to the location, we were having trouble finding it.
Finally, we noticed an approximately 11x17" sign that read something like
"Bummer! Our construction has been delayed and we are not open yet! Come visit us soon! Love, French Fry Heaven"
REALLY??!
So now, because I've ATTEMPTED to eat there for lunch, they'll never open.
Sorry, French Fry Heaven.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Hilarious
9 votes
4.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054212077
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Also Recommended on ZUG:
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Hilarious
13 votes
4.2
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Chickens 286,647  61
09/30/2011 02:39 PM
Do us all a favor and please visit every McDonalds in the country.
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Hilarious
10 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054212079
Sweet Straw McSparkleshorts 98,023 37
09/30/2011 03:02 PM
There's a Cheeburger Cheeburger right down the street from us. My daughter loves that place. If they close down because I read this thread and your mojo leaked onto me, my daughter's tears will be your fault.
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054212080
Mega-KChiki vs Crocosaurus 128,451 98
09/30/2011 03:09 PM
It might happen. Sorry.
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Funny
5 votes
3.0
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Midgets® 96,156 48
09/30/2011 03:46 PM
I really was expecting to read about Subway and bat-Shakespeare crazy.
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054212083
Mega-KChiki vs Crocosaurus 128,451 98
09/30/2011 03:48 PM
...Subway and bat-Shakespeare crazy.
That's on my blog.
/serious
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Hilarious
8 votes
4.1
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054212084
do not mess with Panda's bacon 181,795 70
09/30/2011 04:11 PM
Please never want to eat at the Y.
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Funny
5 votes
3.0
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Whistler 186,138 44
09/30/2011 04:54 PM
I went to Smash Burger for lunch. Mmmmmmmmm Smash Burger, Smash Burger, how I love you! If you don't have a Smash Burger nearby, I feel badly for you. It is the best burger place evar. Much better than In-and-Out, Wattaburger (or waterburger, as they call it here in Phoenix), Five Guys, Sonic or any of the lesser Shakespeareholes (yes, I'm talking about you, Wendy's, BK and McD's). Please don't even mention White Castle in front of me if you don't want me to stank up the nearest terlet with some really foul, greasy diarrhea.
Also, we have a Mexican chain called Filibertos that is to die for. Taco Bell can suck it. Not to mention that what Taco Bell does to my colon function makes what White Castle does look like a day at the botanical garden.
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054212087
do not mess with Panda's bacon 181,795 70
09/30/2011 04:58 PM
We have a local burger joint here that I would have loved to take Kchiki to when she visits me except that I want to continue to eat there when she leaves so I won't risk it.
But I totally think she should go on a Taco Bell killing spree.
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.3
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054212088
Mega-KChiki vs Crocosaurus 128,451 98
09/30/2011 05:05 PM
The ultimate question here is whether I will use my powers for good...or for evil!
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Hilarious
7 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054212090
Jeeni is ready for Halloweeni 47,815 51
09/30/2011 06:37 PM
There's a burger joint here I love. I don't want you to visit it, KChiki ~ BUT could you visit their website so it will die and I can create a better one for them?
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054212095
Dogs Akimbo 211,630 32
09/30/2011 07:28 PM
A place that sells only french fries?
"You want fries with th.....oh, never mind."
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054212096
Sweet Straw McSparkleshorts 98,023 37
09/30/2011 08:29 PM
I've heard of a place in NYC that has that same concept - fries in a cone with lots of dippy sauces. I soooo want to go there. Partly because the idea is genius and partly because of nostalgia. When I lived in Germany they had food carts that sold puffy pretzels and fries in a cone. The fries (pomme frites) were a thing of beauty. *sigh*
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Funny
3 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054212124
Mr. Mike 11,439 21 throws hopes and dreams out the window
10/01/2011 12:43 PM
Well, now I never want Kchiki to dine on me... You've found your way out of my masturbatory dreams!
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054212140
Declan. Shun vile imitations. 131,891 36
10/01/2011 05:24 PM
The title of the thread made me think of vampires and their tea bags.
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Store
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