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The Evidence
Back when Tom Anderson started Myspace, he was your first friend. He had a few photos that he would rotate through, but mostly he used this one as his main profile pic.
Admit it. Most of you removed him from your friends. Snobs.
Facebook came along. Then came the great war of Myspace vs. Facebook. Then the great migration from Myspace to Facebook. Then Tom sold Myspace for a bajillion dollars and could do whatever the hell he wanted. And what did he do?
He opened a Facebook account, naturally.
(That timeline may be off, but stop arguing semantics and work with me here.)
Gosh, that photo looks eerily familiar.
Hold the phone, people!
Myspace launched in 2003. Facebook wasn't available to the general publiCarrollil 2006. So at BEST, if Tom opened a Facebook account the same year it became publicly available, he was already using a three-year-old photo. Tom left Myspace as a contributor in 2009, so at WORST, he was using a six-year-old photo.
I think you see where I'm going with this.
The Challenge
Google+ came out this year. (::swoon::) Tom, being the social networking guru that he is, was one of the first to sign up for an account to check it out. He wrote a lot of insightful posts about social networking and what he thought Google was doing right that Myspace hadn't. We all listened (the guy does know what he's talking about), but did we pay attention? NO.
Something smells rotten in Denmark.
WTF, Tom? In eight years, you haven't taken a single new profile pic? It's unpossible that you look exactly the same as you did back in 2003. Fishy, some might say. INCONCEIVABLE, some might say. HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS, perhaps.
The only logical conclusion is that Tom Anderson is actually a cyborg and is avoiding the Dick-Clark-bot syndrome. Either that, or he's been built and maintained by a much better team.
So full of botox and preservatives, he can barely speak.
The only way to disprove this theory is if Tom Anderson HIMSELF tells us he's not a cyborg. And to prove it, he has to send us a current photo of himself with a #2 pencil behind his ear. I don't see this as an outlandish request.
Tom, if you're reading...
The Followup
After issuing this challenge on the Web, I woke up the next morning and sleepily glanced at my iPhone alarm. There was a notification hovering on the screen: "@myspacetom has mentioned you in a tweet!"
Well, that woke me up. He had this to say. (Link!)
Very clever, Mr. Anderson.
And since I had both Tweeted this post to him AND tagged him when I posted it to Google+, he responded on G+ as well.
He's really a nice guy ... even if he won't admit he's living a "Ghost In The Shell" scenario.
Still no #2 pencil photo, so this could just be a response from Tom's advanced AI algorithm. Until we have the picture with the #2 pencil behind his ear, we must assume Tom Anderson is a cyborg.
Will Tom prove us otherwise? Please help us get the word out. Submit this article to Reddit, Digg, Twitter, Facebook, Google+, your local bulletin board, light pole or anywhere else you can get it seen. Together we will uncover the truth!
And be sure to tag Tom, so he knows we're on to him!
Inspired by a post by Mr. Mike!
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Like This? Rate It!
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Hilarious
11 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054212193
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054212206
Mega-KChiki vs Crocosaurus 128,451  98
10/03/2011 11:33 AM
Wow, why are you sitting on that poor dog??
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Funny
9 votes
3.9
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054212229
Hydrant-monkey 9,888 23
10/03/2011 03:16 PM
No, that's me... awkward.
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Funny
4 votes
3.8
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054212233
Jeeni is ready for Halloweeni 47,815 51
10/03/2011 03:38 PM
The fact he hasn't sent your requested pic yet says 2 things:
1. He wants us to believe he is a cyborg.
2. He is a cyborg.
Actually - wait. There is Tom, then there's Darth Tom, Cyborg Tom, Elite Tom, and Ninja Tom. WTH?
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Funny
4 votes
3.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054212436
Hydrant-monkey 9,888 23
10/05/2011 09:36 AM
Myspace Tom is 40 years old according to Wikipedia. He's probably still waiting for the film to come back from being developed that has the pictures of the pencil thing.
Frost-ing FORTY.
I'm glad I un-friended him from myspace all those years ago. I can't believe I had such a geezer as a friend (buddy? What were they called on Myspace when Myspace was the Facebook before Google+ Myspace'd Facebook?)
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