Mega-KChiki vs Crocosaurus 128,451 98
10/04/2011 08:46 PM

"She laid in bed, listening to him drone on about work yet again, and it finally occurred to her exactly how to murder him."

Drewcifer ♠♠♠ 46,366 58
10/04/2011 08:48 PM

I never thought I would actually send a letter to Variations, but...

Fratberry 283,052 53
10/04/2011 08:56 PM

I never thought I would actually send a letter to Highlights, but...

Fratberry 283,052 53
10/04/2011 08:57 PM

I'd say KChiki came up with hers a little too quickly.

John Hargrave 128,751 73
10/04/2011 09:02 PM

It was a dark and stormy night, well, not actually that dark, nor that stormy, but lo! from upon the west wind came a howl and a shriek, not really a howl actually, more like a low moan, but there was definitely a shriek and it was terrifying, if not actually bone-chilling, and it made the hairs on the back of the neck of Tom, the lead character in this story, stand up on end, before they (the hairs) finally settled down on his skin, which now felt like clammy gooseflesh, and then he wet his pants.

Brad Poynter 36,184 48
10/04/2011 09:07 PM

The pale grey moon lit up the coal black desert sky as a pack of lonesome coyotes devoured the flesh of the hienous zomibesqe creatures produced by the ultra secret underground chemical test laboratoy located somewhere in the Chillean desert near the location of the Nazca lines you may have heard about on television.

Piemaster - Yes, Hell Yes! 12,538 15
10/04/2011 09:08 PM

It started with a post on a comedy forum, little did he know he would soon stop being a noob and STFU.

Thud 68,525 19
10/04/2011 09:20 PM

In the course of perusing his voicemail Alphonse discovered his newest boy-toy had apparently been eviscerated and would, therefore, be late to dinner again.

Vampire Chix with fangs 286,647 61
10/04/2011 09:35 PM

The vampires were young and kinda of pouty, also, they were vampires.

Midgets® 96,156 48
10/04/2011 09:50 PM

As Jeff walked into the briefing he had no idea that this would be the last morning of his life that he could remain sitting when Number 4 asked if anyone had experience in whale insemination.

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
10/04/2011 09:58 PM

He had a pressure washer and he knew how to use it. Sadly, blood and guts are really hard to clean without bleach.

BC Bud 13,797 15
10/04/2011 11:39 PM

She swallowed.

Dogs Akimbo 211,630 32
10/05/2011 12:24 AM

"Uh oh," he thought, "I sure hope that's pudding."

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
10/05/2011 07:52 AM

The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain, but that really didn't matter to Jim, because he lived in Arkansas. There the water poured buckets from the sky just about every-which-where, but today it seemed to have mostly concentrated on the front seat of his convertible, as he had forgotten to put the top up again.

Sprog 9,049 12
10/05/2011 08:08 AM

Edward had never been so hungry for blood in his life.. Bella was on her period.

Straw consumed by the fires of hell 98,023 37
10/05/2011 08:31 AM

The mystery of why the driver gave her a strange look as she stepped onto the bus was solved when she beheld the fifteen other passengers, all of whom looked exactly like her.

Invisible Ravos 63,472 21
10/05/2011 09:38 AM

At first, nothing happened, but all of a sudden, nothing continued to happen.

Mega-KChiki vs Crocosaurus 128,451 98
10/05/2011 10:04 AM

Her coffee had gone cold. "Dammit, I wish clown makeup was easier to wash off than this," she thought irritatedly to herself.

Fratberry 283,052 53
10/05/2011 10:12 AM

"He had realized way too late that posting such things on his Facebook page would be seen by his co-workers and employees and now there was nothing but shame, remorse and a half eaten ham sandwich eating away at his gut."

Fratberry 283,052 53
10/05/2011 10:14 AM

"She lay there spent, sticky and slightly embarrassed at the realization that this was NOT how a room full of men would help her put on her clown makeup."

Fratberry 283,052 53
10/05/2011 10:17 AM

"Back in the War to End All Wars, he hopped on the wirefreight to Elsanora and plugged into the alphanet, which preceded all tube manifestations of information, and through it all, he realized that search still sucked."

Fratberry 283,052 53
10/05/2011 10:20 AM

I don't know why but I felt the need to post this...

Midgets® 96,156 48
10/05/2011 10:24 AM

There are bad days, and then there are clown raping, neck surgery without anesthesia, dead feline, piemaster returns bad days.

Midgets® 96,156 48
10/05/2011 10:30 AM

The sight of the mothership returning was almost too much to take in, so massive it nearly blocked out the sun, thrusters purring with the power of ten thousand content kittens and somewhere, inside, was a man with a fish in his colon.

Vampire Chix with fangs 286,647 61
10/05/2011 10:31 AM

That body wasn't going to get itself out of the trunk, he well knew.

Dogs Akimbo 211,630 32
10/05/2011 11:55 AM

Wilfred, having passed out when the large woman has accidentally sat upon him in the Dentist's waiting room, awoke bleeding, naked and broken; worse yet, his glasses were bent.

Fratberry 283,052 53
10/05/2011 09:07 PM

Chickens with a female clown and he totally missed it. Doofus.

Fratberry 283,052 53
10/05/2011 09:09 PM

"There stood Steve, his new black Coleridge in hand."

All things considered, I probably killed Steve Jobs by starting this thread.

handsomerandall 1,188 8
10/07/2011 08:57 AM

As the young school children sat at the table, eating the flesh of a dead classmate, young blond pig-tailed sally asked for someone to pass the relish.

Fratberry 283,052 53
10/07/2011 09:21 AM

Only 70 more responses and I get the elusive Master Challenger trophy. *sigh*

Sprog 9,049 12
10/07/2011 09:32 AM

69 now (heh).

Mega-KChiki vs Crocosaurus 128,451 98
10/07/2011 09:34 AM

As Frat sat in his livingroom, his gaze fell upon the trophy case against the far wall and the empty space illuminated by a soft LED. "Soon," he whispered quietly to himself.

KatDawg 10,055 11
10/07/2011 11:27 AM

Call me Popanater.

Fratberry 283,052 53
10/07/2011 04:37 PM

No.

Fratberry 283,052 53
10/07/2011 04:38 PM

"Young Winston realized he had discovered that the best way to enjoy cottage cheese was to eat it out of a dumpster on a sweltering day..."

So, yeah, I totally stole that from my Facebook page.

Mega-KChiki vs Crocosaurus 128,451 98
10/07/2011 04:46 PM

Rachel popped a vitamin into her mouth and quickly took a swig of water. As she swallowed the capsule, it occurred to her that this would be the last vitamin she'd ever take.

Midgets® 96,156 48
10/07/2011 05:35 PM

Young Adolph lay in his cupboard under the stairs of Number 4 Gasofen Drive wondering why he never got any mail.

Midgets® 96,156 48
10/07/2011 05:43 PM

You too can become a master of copy/paste and cubicle pranks in 108 easy steps!

Sprog 9,049 12
10/07/2011 05:52 PM

"Thank you for purchasing this book. You are about to embark on the magic adventures that coincide with milking a sheep."

Fratberry 283,052 53
10/07/2011 07:12 PM

"If you wear a dress that's strapless with a bra that isn't, you might be a redneck."

Mega-KChiki vs Crocosaurus 128,451 98
10/08/2011 10:30 AM

Just like the old commercials, Susan's favorite part of waking up was her morning coffee, or at least it was until the cockroach poked its head and feelers out of the cup right under her nose.

Jeeni is ready for Halloweeni 47,815 51
10/08/2011 11:07 AM

When new recruits were shown around the office she would inevitably end the tour with the kitchen and the cockroach-infested beer garden.

Manhole 21,658 29
10/08/2011 11:45 AM

The danger was so readily apparent to everyone but them, like soldiers wearing their sunglasses in the dark.

Thud 68,525 19
10/09/2011 08:03 PM

"Another day in Limbo", he sighed as he looked upon the perfect gray nothingness for which poor customer service was to blame.

Fratberry 283,052 53
10/09/2011 09:02 PM

"He'd been down this road before: peeling back the lips like pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich, he prayed almost silently that he'd be the last one to throw the first stone there."

Mega-KChiki vs Crocosaurus 128,451 98
10/09/2011 09:08 PM

There she sat, reading her favorite online forum when she suddenly had the urge to vomit violently.

Pram 80,728 42
10/12/2011 11:18 AM

"It was the best of times, it was the mollest of times."

Mr. Mike Tricks your Treat! 11,439 21
10/13/2011 01:11 PM

Her Poe was stinky, there had to be a solution.

Vampire Chix 286,647 61
10/13/2011 02:43 PM

Mr. Mike started his day by writing in his diary about his wife.

Mr. Mike Tricks your Treat! 11,439 21
10/13/2011 05:12 PM

EX wife, EX GODDAMMIT!

Jeeni is ready for Halloweeni 47,815 51
10/13/2011 05:18 PM

She sighed and wondered if 52 was the tipping point. Is it all downhill from here?

Jeeni is ready for Halloweeni 47,815 51
10/13/2011 05:18 PM

52 posts - not years!!


Damnit.

Fratberry 283,052 53
10/13/2011 05:23 PM

She had come to the realization that her mind was an open book, but not just any kind of open book, rather it was a pop-up open book, and could be used when taking tests, pop quizzes if you will, the kind of tests that make one sweat cascading rivulets of joy as her mind slowly popped up everything for her friends and enemies to tighten their pants by.

Vampire Chix 286,647 61
10/13/2011 06:11 PM

"Jeez," he wondered, "would this Fratberry guy ever shut up?"

Bean 8,607 19
10/13/2011 07:55 PM

He bent down over the huge cauldron of chili that was simmering over the open fire in the middle of the desert where his car had broken down the night before and wondered, "where the hell did I find chili in the middle of the desert?"

Fratberry 283,052 53
10/14/2011 09:10 AM

"I was born on April Fool's Day."

Mega-KChiki vs Crocosaurus 128,451 98
10/14/2011 11:15 AM

Susan reached to pick up her Triple Venti Pumpkin Spice Latte and realized that everything seemed to be vibrating. A moment later, she realized it was just her.

Fratberry 283,052 53
10/14/2011 03:39 PM

Mr. Ali never seemed to appreciate it when he came to visit and I'd hand him a glass of milk and a glass if ice cream, although I did find out later that he had a rather peculiar fear of people showing up in his yard.

Fratberry 283,052 53
10/14/2011 04:56 PM

Mrs. Fratberry is going out of town this weekend. Maybe I'll try some cutting and see how it makes me feel. Angst is my middle name.

Fratberry 283,052 53
10/14/2011 05:00 PM

How does Pram keep hijacking my account?

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,048 22
10/14/2011 05:47 PM

Frank stared at the empty page and began to type the first thing to come into his mind, which was a horny coyote that had somehow sneaked into the operating room during his brain surgery the previous day.

Jeeni is ready for Halloweeni 47,815 51
10/14/2011 07:24 PM

She sighed, knowing her second portable sterling demodulator wouldn't be as dangerously inappropriate as her first model, but dug in to the plans just the same.

Weego 17 4
02/26/2012 06:53 PM

As Frank woke up covered in vomit, rotting food and other unmentionable substances in what would seem to be a cheap motel room, he realized how bad last night must have been right before another naked, obese man sleeping on top of him rolled over and proceeded to fart in his face.

Whistler 186,138 44
02/27/2012 03:30 PM

There were very few things that irritated Jim more than a noob resurrecting a thread that had long ago died an ignoble death.

Pram 80,728 42
02/27/2012 06:42 PM

"This is not a novel about the time a character who may or may not be a real person came to be known as Onion Sliver."

ItalianTWSS - Erin go FUCK YOURSELF 27,416 24
02/27/2012 06:47 PM

"They call me Chris Garrett."

Pubah... 56,851 18
03/01/2012 01:37 PM

Chris Rock once said, "When they're paying you minimum wage, what they're really saying is 'if we could pay you less, we would'". But, at least I was working...