Mega-KChiki vs Crocosaurus 128,451 98
10/08/2011 07:09 PM

My default response is ::HUG:: but I'm afraid to do that to you again after I almost killed you last time. So here's a big thumbs up for looking out for yourself and a big "Frost you!" to the bastards that make assumptions and find joy in being Emersons.

Dogs Akimbo 211,630 32
10/08/2011 07:11 PM

I didn't find this article to be funny at all.

Nachos 57,521 23
10/08/2011 07:22 PM

If they don't want to give me help in my area for whatever reason they've concocted in their head, that's fine.

If you think that having them help you in your 'area' is part of their job descriptions I think we might have narrowed down the problem.

Midgets® 96,156 48
10/08/2011 07:43 PM

Frat, I love you.

Now that the gays out of the way,

It sounds like you're in the position I was untill six years ago.
I routinely did the work two to three positions higher than my position. The people over me loved me, those under me hated me.
It really hurt when good friends who I once worked equally with accused me of being power hungry and lording over them.
I wish they would have known why. The people I had to "council" was so they wouldn't be written up.
The people I wrote up I only did so after spending hours on their behalf arguing so they could keep their job.

It sucked balls.

That's why I took a break from it.

The best part of that break was hearing how things went to Shakespeare and the people who used to resent me would see me on the street and tell me that they missed me.

Midgets® 96,156 48
10/08/2011 07:45 PM

Six years later and I have more connections now than I did then, and I'm back to doing the same Shakespeare and waiting for a new generation to hate and resent me.

Midgets® 96,156 48
10/08/2011 07:46 PM

Totally worth it!

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
10/08/2011 08:45 PM

You're a Frost-ing Poe.







SUCK IT UP FRATPoe.





Bitch.

Straw consumed by the fires of hell 98,023 37
10/08/2011 08:54 PM

So you're no longer going to help us figure out what Drewcifer named his dog?

Fine then, I didn't like working with you anyway, Emerson!

Midgets® 96,156 48
10/08/2011 09:35 PM

If Dogs buys you a 'Vette I'm gonna be soo pissed off.

Drewcifer ♠♠♠ 46,366 58
10/08/2011 10:04 PM

When you die, can I have your Zug shirt?

Drewcifer ♠♠♠ 46,366 58
10/08/2011 10:11 PM

also,





















It smells like vagina in here.

default_user 12,538 15
10/08/2011 10:33 PM

Frat, I think we can all generally relate to you with this one.

And the little according-nose is named Sprog.

Lurk More

Straw consumed by the fires of hell 98,023 37
10/08/2011 11:11 PM

Yeah, my post was 45 minutes before the big reveal, so I guess YOU need to lurk more.

(totally only said that because I want Frat to feel right at home with the workplace sniping)

Chit 178,781 15
10/09/2011 01:22 AM

I bet Mr. Poynter could help you select a nice automatic weapon to bring with you to school.

That'll teach 'em.

The Mailman 176,467 56
10/09/2011 02:05 AM

Here's what you do:

- Print large pictures of your colleagues making frowny faces and staple them to wooden sticks.
- Print a large picture of yourself making a happy face and recreate "Frat-on-a-stick."
- Send everything to Brad Poynter so he can set up a bonfire of your colleagues-on-a-stick while Frat-on-a-stick watches happily.
- Watch the scene on Youtube and profit!

Piemaster - Just Piemaster 12,538 15
10/09/2011 04:22 AM

Yeah, my post was 45 minutes before the big reveal

Don't try to use your inability to manipulate space-time as an excuse. We all kn(o/e)w this will have had end(ed/ing) that way.

Vampire Chix 286,647 61
10/09/2011 07:34 AM

I've been through a lot of Shakespeare in the past three years. Unbelievable highs and lows. More lows. I'm nearly a Pollyanna optimist, so I always try and paint the best picture on it, but there is always that snarling dog in the background that you just cant seem to get out of your life.

But the one thing that has been the most positive in the whole thing has been when I stood up for myself against an absolute tide of legal and financial threats. I literally had a fortune 50 company threaten to sue me into bankruptcy. They wouldn't have to win. They could just wear me down with legal proceedings until I went through everything.

Against all odds I put an extra coat of chrome on my ballsack and told them to do their best.

Apparently, my bluster called their bluff, and they admitted I was too small potatoes for their attention.

Net result, I've had two of the hardest financial years of my life, but I've built something no one can take away from me. I was able to tell the dog that I refused to live by his rules and have broken my own chains as a result.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I feel your pain in some way. And I'm just now starting to feel the triumph that comes as a result.

Respect.

Sprog the Dog 9,049 12
10/09/2011 09:48 AM

I don't know you Frat & I'm still well into the depths of noob status so I may be out of line for commenting on your situation but after reading that I feel bad for you. I say Frost 'em, if you let them get to you, you'll just end up feeling as bitter and twisted as those sackless dumb Frosts. Obviously with all the health problems you've described above, you don't need to feel emotional pain over closed-minded idiots who are too stupid to realise the efforts you put in for them and the level of adversity you do it through.
I've quickly learnt that people like that aren't even worth time in my thoughts.


Wow, that was a really long-winded way of saying don't let the bastards grind you down.

Zombie Princess Dianasaur 57,835 109
10/09/2011 12:24 PM

So Frat, you're calling for all of us to show up at your work and protest, right? #OccupyFrat'sWork

Shell Belle 77,143 25
10/09/2011 04:24 PM

Sorry, Frat. I am sending my mojo your way.

Also, I can recommend a good psychiatric hospital. The food sucks, but you get to wear cute blue slippers and complain about your problems as much as you want. Good times.

Fratberry 283,052 53
10/09/2011 04:57 PM

I keep wondering why I haven't gone completely "cuckoo bird" yet. It would be the most convenient way of handling everything although it would be really selfish of me. I mean, that day I had a migraine so bad that I beat my head against a wall of the bathroom at work so many times I had blood running down my forehead (after I had removed my blood-stained hat, that is), you know what happened? MY MIGRAINE WENT AWAY. You know what else happened? THE BLOOD STAINS CAME OUT OF THE HAT. Lucky for me since it was my favorite hat.

The stress has been so bad that I cannot read anything out of my left eye (central serous retinopathy blah blah blah). I have to read everything with one eye closed and that's damn near impossible to do while studying while staying awake at the same time.

And that procedure I had for my neck? Wanna know what happened? It's left me with what appears to be a PERMANENT pain in my neck that the drugs won't dull even a little bit.

I'm too rational for suicide (for now). The insurance won't pay Mrs. Fratberry and she'd probably have to clean up the mess or at least whatever the cats didn't manage to eat on their own. I don't have a will but that's actually good considering I don't own anything except some fake internet trophies and a bunch of personal crap at work that nobody wants. On the positive side, at least Mrs. Fratberry could start having sex again (don't you even say it).

All I do know is that I'm not much good to anyone right now and that's a very bad feeling.

Taco Crunch 61,976 36
10/09/2011 05:17 PM

I know I haven't been around here much lately but I popped in and caught this thread. I'm very sorry you're going through all of this, Frat, every time I've seen you in the real world you've always impressed me with your humor and kindness. It really sucks that you keep getting the short end of the stick.



Poop.

Shell Belle 77,143 25
10/09/2011 05:23 PM

Sorry to add to the unfunny, but:


Frat,

Taking care of your own needs isn't selfish. You can't expect to be able to take care of others if you are feeling so bad.

I probably shouldn't disclose this here, but if it helps you, it's worth it. Two weeks ago, I was feeling completely overwhelmed. A lot like you are feeling. I didn't know where to turn. I did something that I now realize was completely stupid, but at the time I thought was the only way out. This stupid act landed me in the psych ward for the week. It was not pretty and I was miserable at first, but in the end I was able to admit that I needed the help. And I got to spend time with lots of interesting(crazy) people. I have enough material to write several articles about the funny things I witnessed there.

I guess what I am saying is that I know how you feel. Please don't ever think that there is only one way out. I am here to listen if you need me. One nutcase to another. My email is in my profile. Please email me if you want to talk.

Fratberry 283,052 53
10/09/2011 06:05 PM

I just noticed that I have the retinopathy now in both eyes, which is damn near impossible. THAT looks like this:



I also have an infestation of locusts in my shorts. But they keep trying to climb out. Locusts are stupid but not nearly as stupid as all the spiders crawling all over me. Just kidding.

Shell Belle 77,143 25
10/09/2011 07:53 PM

When you die, can I have your Zug shirt?


Why would you want that? Sure, it fits the first time you wear it, but after washing it just once it won't fit anybody but the cat.


Not that I know that from personal experience though. Nope.

Shell Belle 77,143 25
10/09/2011 07:59 PM

won't fit anybody but the cat

Anyone else picturing all of Frat's cats walking around his house with Zug shirts on now?


Just me? Okay.

Drewcifer ♠♠♠ 46,366 58
10/09/2011 08:06 PM

You guys should all come over and rub Sprog's belly.

Dogs Akimbo 211,630 32
10/09/2011 08:20 PM

I keep wondering why I haven't gone completely "cuckoo bird" yet.

Okay, now the thread is funny.

Fratberry 283,052 53
10/09/2011 09:04 PM

You know, Drewcifer, if you're lucky your dog won't get hurt when your toilet falls through that rotting floor of yours.

Thud 68,525 19
10/09/2011 09:24 PM

Let alone when he misses the target and the doggie gets an unexpected shower.

Declan. Shun vile imitations. 131,891 36
10/09/2011 09:38 PM

As someone who is no stranger to medical Shakespeare, I am sincerely sorry, Frat.


Most of my conditions are at least stable. However, some of them can turn without much notice.


Don't commit suicide until you can make it look like a homicide. Or an accident. Yeah, an accident.


/semi-nice.








how is this different from most of your threads, anyway?

Shell Belle 77,143 25
10/09/2011 10:11 PM

I just re-read my earlier post about the Nut Hut and realized that it may not have come off like I intended it to. I wasn't saying that you belong in the looney bin or anything (although maybe you do, I don't know). I was just trying to say that you're not alone. And that you shouldn't try to off yourself, because if you're a Frost up like me, you'll end up in the psych ward too.

Also, I like you. And stuff.



Okay, someone please tell me to shut the Frost up now.

Thud 68,525 19
10/09/2011 10:56 PM

Shelle, your wish is granted.







Shut the Frost up.

Fratberry 283,052 53
10/09/2011 11:01 PM

how is this different from most of your threads, anyway?

Hahaha. Point well taken.

SIV Attacks the Darknss! 13,642 16
10/09/2011 11:52 PM

Okay, someone please tell me to shut the Frost up now.

Are you kidding? I want to here more. Was your experience more "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" or "Sucker Punch?"


Regardless of what happens Frat, we care. And I'm sure if you do something stupid, we could pull some money together to have BIG be your lawyer.

Fratberry 283,052 53
10/10/2011 01:34 AM

If the doctors told me tomorrow that the only way I could get rid of the migraines and other Shakespeare would be to have a frontal lobotomy, I might just take them up on it. Just think back to how happy Jack Nicholson looked at the end of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

Shell Belle 77,143 25
10/10/2011 09:33 AM

O hai, Frat. I sent u a cheer up kitteh.

Shell Belle 77,143 25
10/10/2011 10:09 AM

Shut the Frost up

Thanks, Thud. You really know how to please a woman.

Wait, that came out wrong.

Umm, I mean, you don't hesitate to give it to me when I need it.

That's even worse.

You're a good friend who I would never blow off.

I give up.

Taco Crunch 61,976 36
10/10/2011 10:38 AM

If the doctors told me tomorrow that the only way I could get rid of the migraines and other Shakespeare would be to have a frontal lobotomy, I might just take them up on it.

There's that new thing where they plant electrodes in your head and you electrocute the Frost out of your brain every time you get a migraine. It has really good results in most people but it's still highly experimental.

I wonder if like, you had one of those, and you were whacking off, if pressing it right when you came would totally reset your dong and you'd have to start over, or if you'd come so hard you'd die.

You should look into this. For science!

Dogs Akimbo 211,630 32
10/10/2011 10:42 AM

Listen to Taco, she's a doctor.







In some of my fantasies.

Vampire Chix 286,647 61
10/10/2011 07:41 PM

Let's talk more about Ms. Fratberry starting to have the sex again.

The Mailman 176,467 56
10/11/2011 10:35 AM

If the doctors told me tomorrow that the only way I could get rid of the migraines and other Shakespeare would be to have a frontal lobotomy.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

(/borrowed)

KatDawg 10,055 11
10/12/2011 12:39 PM

Cheer up!

Elron_Hubbard 2,733 8
10/12/2011 12:50 PM

I was going to say this isn't funny. Then I realized that other peoples misery is always funny.

Invisible Ravos 63,472 21
10/12/2011 01:49 PM

Frat, you should invite us to the important conference calls so we can prank the hell out of them.

Sprog the Dog 9,049 12 peddles smut.
10/12/2011 08:21 PM

Cheer up dude. If you ever need CPR I'll send the girls round.

Invisible Ravos 63,472 21
10/13/2011 09:31 AM

Also Frat, I can totally relate. This one time at work, I had stuff to do and missed a coffee break. So I can truly understand the hardships you are going through.

Fratberry 283,052 53
10/13/2011 05:27 PM

The other really cool thing is that when I am trying to talk to someone, within a few seconds of saying what I need to say their body language changes and is basically saying "Holy Frost I wish this Emerson would shut up". The look on their face lets me know they're in hell because I'm talking. And this happens with people at work, my wife, everyone really.

Did I mention this before? If I did you probably just gave it a "I don't give a Shakespeare" look and forgot about it. Frost.

Midgets® 96,156 48
10/13/2011 05:32 PM

I know a girl who went through the same thing. She got a boob job and now has everybodys undivided attention.


You should try that.

Fratberry 283,052 53
10/16/2011 10:21 PM

I'd hate myself even more because I hate fake boobs. And even if I did have that done I'm sure they come out looking like two strangers in an elevator.

Although there is a chance of cancer...

BC Bud 13,797 15
10/16/2011 10:47 PM

Slowly I have come to realize that the vast majority of the people in all groups of ITS don't like me


I'm in IT and I like you...


I just don't work in your company.

Midgets® 96,156 48
10/16/2011 11:10 PM

I think we need to move you in with Pram untill you develop a positive outlook.

Dogs Akimbo 211,630 32
10/17/2011 12:12 AM

I'm in IT and I like you, too. But then, sometimes I feel affectionate towards Pram, so I'm probably not a good indicator.

Midgets® 96,156 48
10/17/2011 12:53 AM

I think you're confusing "affection for Pram" for "Once attended a donkey show".

Dogs Akimbo 211,630 32
10/17/2011 09:03 AM

Point taken.

Taco Crunch 61,976 36
10/17/2011 08:02 PM

Why the Frost are so many of us in IT?

Declan. Shun vile imitations. 131,891 36
10/17/2011 08:13 PM

Why not?

Dogs Akimbo 211,630 32
10/17/2011 10:25 PM

Why the Frost are so many of us in IT?

We don't have actual skillz.

Dogs Akimbo 211,630 32
10/17/2011 10:26 PM

What I meant to say was, I'd like to be in I.T..



Ladies.

Fratberry 283,052 53
10/19/2011 10:01 AM

Why the Frost are so many of us in IT?

Because only cool people work in IT. That's totally not true. Okay, it's because only cool ZUG people work in IT. Wait, that's not it either. Maybe it's because I don't actually have to be here to do the majority of my job. I could be on a park bench somewhere, or even in my parents basement even though their house is on a slab. The real answer is that I'll get back to you once I've compiled the correct answer.

Fratberry 283,052 53
10/19/2011 10:05 AM

Here are my directions for opening the door outside my office for no particular reason...



protected override void OnDoorOpen(DoorEventArgs doorEvent)
{
base.OnDoorOpen(DoorEvent);

if (trackingDoorMovement)
{
end = new Point(DoorEvent.X, DoorEvent.Y);

Handle turn = directionDown Handle(turn.Down, 1);
this.doorHandle.Pull(currentUser, turn.Down, pull.Handle, exit.Door, ass.nothitByDoor);

start = end;
}


Stupid formatting. Anyway, you get the idea.

Invisible Ravos 63,472 21
10/19/2011 10:05 AM

Lets use government funding to hire a reearch group to perform a study on this.

Fratberry 283,052 53
10/19/2011 02:46 PM

I think my findings that I'm not very well liked are pretty solid. Plus, we don't have the money in the budget to prove that I'm a tool.

Autra - Generic Unfunny Live Member 10,560 11
10/19/2011 02:57 PM

Why the Frost are so many of us in IT?

Because some of us Frosted up and got real jobs.

Nachos 57,521 23
10/19/2011 03:52 PM

Maybe it's because I don't actually have to be here to do the majority of my job.

That's because you've got people helping you in your area all the time instead of doing their own jobs.

KatDawg 10,055 11
10/20/2011 01:25 PM

Here are my directions for opening the door outside my office for no particular reason...

Fratberry 283,052 53
11/01/2011 01:11 PM

I was funniest of the month because of gloom, despair and agony. So, in celebration of my victory...

Fratberry 283,052 53
11/01/2011 01:12 PM

And just for Shakespeares and giggles...

Fratberry 283,052 53
11/01/2011 01:27 PM

Holy crap I watched that show a lot when I was a kid. That explains the cousin incident.

Straw consumed by the fires of hell 98,023 37
11/01/2011 01:45 PM

You're in good(?) company, Frat. I didn't click on the vids because I can't at work, but I was able to recall most of it in my head just by seeing the titles.