HP has the worst customer service ever.
A comedy conversation
by TurkduckChackens  286,647  61
11/08/2011 09:51 AM 185 views
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Yeah, I know my printer is two years old now and that makes is a dinosaur to HP. Yes, I understand the marketing ploy of no longer offering customer service to older models in order to sell new units. Yes I understand the cost saving idiotic idea to outsource that same customer service to India. But giving that same barely-Engrish speaking person a circular word track with the single solution of selling a new printer is the absolute height of insanity.
If after this experience and my last call to them, I would EVER consider purchasing an HP printer again, do they really think I'm gonna do it from someone in an Indian phone bank?
The whole kicker is there is nothing wrong with the damn printer. It works fine. Their damn periodic update caused an error pop up every time I boot my computer. HP imaging device not found. It's there. It works. It's really nothing to close the message out every time, but it's just kind of irritating. And since the service rep-ette will not admit there is not a problem with my printer but rather her software, I finally got tired of her circular word track where she offers me a discount on a new printer, and asked for someone else to talk to. She put me on hold 30 minutes ago to get her supervisor. Apparently, HP has given up completely in serving the public.
I hate them with the hate of 1000 suns right now. If this particular model didn't sip ink like it's trying to make it last forever, I would throw the damn thing out in the parking lot.
I know, comedy site. Make fun of my rant. There's your comedy.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
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Autra - Generic Unfunny Live Member 10,560  11
11/08/2011 09:56 AM
So wait, you called an unhelpful customer help line to have them fix your working printer?
Just trying to be clear here.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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TurkduckChackens 286,647 61
11/08/2011 09:58 AM
No, I want to know why their software update caused an irritating "device not found" error that will not go away no matter how much I remove and reinstall the driver.
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Hilarious
14 votes
4.0
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Disco Bob 4,322 8 doesn't read thread
11/08/2011 10:03 AM
I always heard that all of High Priestess' costumers are extremely satisfied.
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Hilarious
11 votes
4.2
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Brad Poynter 36,184 48
11/08/2011 10:13 AM
Don't you hate it you typo the one word you rarely wanted to emphasize in a way that changes its entire meaning.
Luckily I ever do that.
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.3
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Manhole 21,658 29
11/08/2011 11:19 AM
Start, run, and type "msconfig".
You can turn stuff off in there. See if you can turn off that part of the driver. If you can't, you'll have to roll back to an older driver. If you have the old CD that came with the printer, that would be best. If not scour the interwebs, I'm sure one is out there somewhere.
You can also look in the .ini file and see if you can find the imaging device directory it's looking for. Make sure the directory is correct. This might not work though, and cause your computer to explode in a million pieces.
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Funny
8 votes
3.5
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Cranberry Sauce Smothered Priestess 58,986 29
11/08/2011 11:29 AM
*only reads title*
I don't service customers! I take their money and run!
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Funny
5 votes
3.6
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Cranberry Sauce Smothered Priestess 58,986 29
11/08/2011 11:30 AM
Actually now, after reading the post my previous statements applies as well.
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Funny
4 votes
3.5
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Spicey McHaggis 117,791 37
11/08/2011 11:57 AM
Damn. Manhole beat me to the real advice. I guess that leaves it to me to say this.
FDISK
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Hilarious
8 votes
4.2
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Fratberry Pie 283,052 53
11/08/2011 01:07 PM
1: Turn off the printer or unplug it from your computer if it is already off
2: Uninstall every little piece of HP software related to the printer
3: Download, install and run a program called "CCleaner" from http://www.piriform.com/ccleaner
4: Click on the "run cleaner" button and watch it clean all your crap
5: Click on the registry icon to the left once you have completed that step
6: Click on "scan for issues"
7: Once this has completed click on "fix selected issues"
8: You don't want to save anything here so when it asks you if you want to back up changes to the registry, say no.
9: Click on "fix all selected issues".
10: Repeat this two more times.
11: Shut the machine down
12: Turn it on again (turn it on, turn it on again)
13: Install the software for the printer.
14: Plug the printer into the machine when instructed.
15: Engrish is Asian, not Indians. If you're going to be a racist get it right.
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.5
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Fratberry Pie 283,052 53
11/08/2011 01:21 PM
16: Ya putz.
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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TurkduckChackens 286,647 61
11/08/2011 01:33 PM
Right. Like Indians never butcher the language. They've only been speaking it longer than we have. I mean. Urm. I have no idea what I mean.
But thanks for the detailed instructions. I very well may try that. Warn me now if that's the fdisk type of advice or the sincerely helpful I-really-don't-blame-you-for-dissing-my-glasses type of advice. Thanksurapeach.
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.3
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KChiki licked the baked ham 128,451 98
11/08/2011 01:38 PM
No, the CCleaner advice is very good advice.
/serious
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Side-splitting
4 votes
5.0
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Fratberry Pie 283,052 53
11/08/2011 04:09 PM
Sometimes I am smrt.
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.3
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Dogs Akimbo 211,630 32
11/08/2011 04:23 PM
17. Throw away the computer and eat the board.
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Funny
5 votes
3.8
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Fratberry Pie 283,052 53
11/09/2011 08:25 AM
17 only applies if you happen to be a beaver.
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.0
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TurkduckChackens 286,647 61
11/09/2011 08:55 AM
Fratberry rocks.
That is all.
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Hilarious
6 votes
4.2
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Shell Belle 77,143 25
11/09/2011 12:32 PM
That was a very touching tribute to Andy Rooney, Chickens. Somewhere he is looking down on this thread and smiling.
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
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Declan's Garlic McManus Potatoes 131,891 36
11/09/2011 03:13 PM
Next time, don't ask Harry. Ask Hermione or Professor Flitwick instead.
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Funny
3 votes
3.0
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TurkduckChackens 286,647 61
11/11/2011 02:58 PM
Hah! They sent me a customer service satisfaction survey.
This should go well.
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
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Fratberry Pie 283,052 53
11/11/2011 07:04 PM
Priestess will soon be able to provide you several small buckets to send them.
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
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Fratberry Pie 283,052 53
11/11/2011 07:30 PM
"DOCTOR Chickens"
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