Ebenezer Ravos 63,472 21
01/04/2012 03:04 PM

Prostitute.

Hydrant-monkey 9,888 23
01/04/2012 03:10 PM

Whore.

Fratberry 283,052 53
01/04/2012 03:14 PM

Jehovah's Witness Prostitute?

Celebrating Year of The Chickens 286,647 61
01/04/2012 03:20 PM

You'll be wanting the mojo later when you're trying to get AWAY from your pimp. Getting hired is the easy part.

Celebrating Year of The Chickens 286,647 61
01/04/2012 03:21 PM

Who wants to bet that Ravos and Monkey weren't actually answering her question, but just responding to another Lobster thread?

Hydrant-monkey 9,888 23
01/04/2012 03:25 PM

There was a question?

Declan's Garlic McManus Potatoes 131,891 36
01/04/2012 03:33 PM

OK, I'll play along. Either real estate, or pest control.

Sparkly Bubbly Straw 98,023 37
01/04/2012 03:37 PM

Pimp
Mafia
Agent from the Matrix
Mary Kay representative

Manhole 21,658 29
01/04/2012 04:11 PM

I bet your one of those door to door magazine salespersons trying to raise money for starving children in Madagascar.

turtle - does not resolute. 42,578 26
01/04/2012 04:11 PM

Door to door baby stealer?

Manhole 21,658 29
01/04/2012 04:14 PM

Can anybody read this? I'm currently about 28'000 feet somewhere above the eastern seaboard. I've posted twice, but can't see my posts. But the threads jump to the top of the list. And there's no record of my posts in my profile.

I'VE FLYING IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE.

Hydrant-monkey 9,888 23
01/04/2012 04:21 PM

I wish Manhole would post something in this thread. Anything by him would be hilarious right about now. I wonder where he is.

Pram 80,728 42
01/04/2012 07:17 PM

Anybody want to guess what I'm doing for a living now?

Janitor at Nike.

Pram 80,728 42
01/04/2012 07:18 PM

Oh, I didn't see the part where you visit peoples' houses.

Girl Scout Cookie Salesperson in bad part of town.

Ringing in a Barney New Year 2,612 19
01/04/2012 07:20 PM

Janitor at Nike


Your close, she is actually cleaning the floors at the local strip clubs.

Ringing in a Barney New Year 2,612 19
01/04/2012 07:20 PM

Janitor at Nike


Your close, she is actually cleaning the floors at the local strip clubs.

Thud 68,525 19
01/04/2012 07:25 PM

It was funnier the first time.

Ringing in a Barney New Year 2,612 19
01/04/2012 07:33 PM

Yes it was.

Pram 80,728 42
01/04/2012 08:11 PM

Your close, she is actually cleaning the floors at the local strip clubs.

That makes sense, but what does it have to do with visiting peoples' houses? Maybe she carpools with other strip club cleaning ladies.

Ringing in a Barney New Year 2,612 19
01/04/2012 08:15 PM

That makes sense, but what does it have to do with visiting peoples' houses? Maybe she carpools with other strip club cleaning ladies.



She then goes and cleans the strippers.

Pram 80,728 42
01/04/2012 08:38 PM

Yeah, and when she's horny, she strips the cleaners.

Dogs Akimbo 211,630 32
01/05/2012 01:29 AM

Real Estate Closings.

Fratberry 283,052 53
01/05/2012 08:19 AM

Girl Scout?

Fratberry 283,052 53
01/05/2012 08:19 AM

Girl Scout Prostitute?

Abominable TWSS 27,416 24
01/05/2012 08:57 AM

Insurance Saleswhore

Ebenezer Ravos 63,472 21
01/05/2012 12:43 PM

Selling vacuum cleaners and other suction related services door to door.

KatDawg 10,055 11
01/05/2012 12:46 PM

Avon? You don't need mojo to get a job as an Avon rep. Just $50, and you can get that easily by sucking the right dicks.

The Lobster. 18,572 33
01/05/2012 02:52 PM

TWSS FOR THE WIN!!

I'm a life insurance representative.

The Lobster. 18,572 33
01/05/2012 02:53 PM

Everyone else:

I hate your Frost-ing guts.

Hydrant-monkey 9,888 23
01/05/2012 03:30 PM

Even Manhole? He didn't even post in this thread!

Ebenezer Ravos 63,472 21
01/05/2012 03:34 PM

I hate your Frost-ing guts.

Mission accomplished.

Straw frozen, but not in carbonite 98,023 37
01/05/2012 03:55 PM

I hate everyone's guts too. My post got one lousy two-orbSuch meanies!

P Ram 80,728 42
01/05/2012 05:31 PM

Everyone else:

I hate your Frost-ing guts.


YAAAAaaaaY...

Declan's Garlic McManus Potatoes 131,891 36
01/05/2012 05:42 PM

Why the hate for my real estate suggestion?


I did not say anything about prostitution.

Abominable TWSS 27,416 24
01/05/2012 10:43 PM

TWSS FOR THE WIN!!

WOOHOO!! I went to an interview for one of these once. It was aimed at the elderly. I sat through the guys schpele but ultimately didn't bother to fill out the application. I kinda felt like I'd be conning the elderly people. Not to mention their homes smell funny and make me sick.

I also didn't like the work on commission thing. Yeah I could make as much as I like, IF I sell, and my people skills are the equivalent to that of a honey badger. I needed something that would pay me no matter what came out of my mouth.

Theres the set up, make with the prostitute jokes!

Celebrating Year of The Chickens 286,647 61
01/06/2012 12:28 AM

You have to take a class and actually pass the exam for that you know.

Declan's Garlic McManus Potatoes 131,891 36
01/06/2012 12:35 AM

Gee, I wonder how you know that, Chix?











(se habla espanol, y'all.)

Celebrating Year of The Chickens 286,647 61
01/06/2012 01:18 PM

I'm a marketing genius.

HighSoci 30,109 18
01/06/2012 03:47 PM

Door to door baby stealer?


Oh no you don't!!! Just like Lady GaGa's vagina, that opening has already been filled.

The Lobster. 18,572 33
01/11/2012 03:22 PM

Yes, Chickens. I have my license.

Also, The company I represent is geared toward the middle-class, unionized, middle-aged folks. So like 35ish is our target prospects. And we deal solely in whole life and convertible term policies. No gimmicks, just providing a death benefit that gains cash value and will pay for your funeral no matter how you die.

Midgets 96,156 48
01/11/2012 03:44 PM

There's more honor in just sucking their Coleridges.

The commission is better, too.

Midgets 96,156 48
01/11/2012 03:44 PM

So I've heard.

Straw frozen, but not in carbonite 98,023 37
01/11/2012 04:08 PM

Here's a protip for you:

middle-aged folks. So like 35ish

If you say anything like this to a prospective client, you will have about 3.5 seconds to escape before they sic Cujo on you.*










* Since you probably weren't born yet when this came out, Cujo is a rabid St. Bernard

Fratberry 283,052 53
01/11/2012 04:27 PM

middle-aged folks. So like 35ish

Frost. and. You. I hope you get used to putting lotion on your skin.

Under the mistletoe? 101,398 77
01/11/2012 08:13 PM

I needed something that would pay me no matter what came out of my mouth.

Not swallowing shows a lack of dedication to your work.

Disco Bob 4,322 8
01/11/2012 10:11 PM

Wait, aren't you supposed to be in medical school or something? Now you're selling life insurance?


Actually that makes perfect since if you were my doctor I'd stock up on life insurance too.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
01/11/2012 10:16 PM

She probably didn't have the grades to graduate, or the people skills to get a hospital job. Hey, selling insurance on commission is a great way to put money aside for raising a child.

Pram 80,728 42 is 35ish
01/12/2012 03:28 AM

middle-aged folks. So like 35ish

If you say anything like this to a prospective client, you will have about 3.5 seconds to escape before they sic Cujo on you.*

After reading that, I am Cujo. GRRRR!

Ebenezer Ravos 63,472 21
01/12/2012 03:11 PM

Her job as a child was "shower inspector"

The Lobster. 18,572 33
01/12/2012 03:25 PM

Meh.

Midgets 96,156 48
01/12/2012 03:31 PM

Her job last week was "shower inspector".

The Lobster. 18,572 33
01/12/2012 03:34 PM

BAZINGA!!

Way to cut deep with a dead horse, Midgy.