Lots of people say modern Hollywood hurts their brain, but that's because they're targeting the wrong organ. Our elite drinking squad has taken on three heavyweight champion drinking movies, and just like the Rocky series, the truly insane opponent is in the fourth one. In fact, it's so insane it even beat Rocky IV. We're turning cinema magic into liver overtime with the world's greatest movie drinking games.
The Movie: Live Free Or Die Hard
Live Free or Die Hard is an incredibly useful movie. Not only does it cure 100% of non-kickass, it helps detect stealth idiots. If someone just doesn't like Die Hards than that's no problem -- they're merely a wimp, and you can adjust accordingly by not inviting them to bear-wrestling or anything involving open flames. But when they complain about the movie being dumb because "computers can't do that" then they've revealed that they think they're smart and are very, very wrong. You can save time by cutting them out of your life now.
You're just now noticing Die Hard isn't realistic?
The only point of Die Hard is John McClane kicking ass. The only point of a sequel is escalation. The Die Hard series understands these self-truths like it spent ten years in a mountain monastery, killing terrorists. It was John McClain versus a building, an airport, a city and then the entire world. That's not just progression: that's the movies leveling up! It doesn't matter why everything in the world is trying to kill him, only that they are, and that they're flammable. The only possible plot for Die Hard 5 will be an alien wizard getting pissed at Bruce Willis and commanding the entire galaxy to attack him, and as long as the rest of the galaxy uses flammable fuels and inaccurate machine guns (and turns out to be a bank robber) it'll be the best movie ever made.
The Rule: Drink Every Time Something Awesome Happens
A deceptively deep rule, resonating with violent urges in the human brain and turning them into a shared communal activity. It turns more aggressive impulses to bond-building than Ghandi, and the process is a lot more fun this way. It makes shouting "Holy Shakespeare did you see that!" into a team-building exercise. And if more people did that, "team-building exercise" wouldn't have to be a punchline.
The only possible male reactions are "HELL YEAH!" or "The castration was successful."
Drinkmograph
Drinking Game Results
Quantity: Perfect escalation
Die Hard might not be the first (or even "a") thing you think of when someone says "moderation," but it's masterfully paced.
Frequency: Rapid Fire
This movie knows its job, and it's to show that Bruce Willis and the special effects coordinator are the most perfect romance ever filmed (and probably on fire).
Urinary: Perfect
The movie is perfectly made for this game. Not only is Bruce Willis utterly self-aware of how badass he's being, and somehow even more lovable for it, but they include Justin Long specifically to provide bathroom breaks. Every time he talks or Kevin Smith exists you're free to go piss or get drinks until they stop.
Talky: Perfect
This movie is self-limiting perfection for those who want to talk. The plot is negligible, the only reason it isn't a silent movie is you need to hear explosions, and any time there's a cool line it's after a detonation which made you shut your stupid piehole and watch anyway.
Drinking games aren't just fun, they're friendship launch pads made of nitroglycerine and chainsaws. From your oldest buddy to brand new people, you bond better over one of these movies than you would escorting a superglue shipment to 'Nam. You've got friends, drink, and when the credits roll you've still got plenty more to enjoy.
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