Drewcifer 46,366 58
01/18/2012 04:25 PM

Edgar Allen Poe was considered to be a "wigger" by modern standards.

Hydrant-monkey 9,888 23
01/18/2012 04:27 PM

Colorado is a tall as it is wide.

Brad Poynter 36,184 48
01/18/2012 04:27 PM

Abraham Lincoln was shot because he owed J.W. Booth money for a dime bag.

The Mailman 176,467 56
01/18/2012 04:29 PM

The only reason why the USA are not using the metric system is because they enjoy pissing off the rest of the planet.

Fratberry 283,052 53
01/18/2012 04:30 PM

Cunnilingus: Great taste, less filling.

Fratberry 283,052 53
01/18/2012 04:30 PM

I don't think I'm doing this right.

The Mailman 176,467 56
01/18/2012 04:31 PM

Ellen Degeneres has been chosen to replace Daniel Craig as the next James Bond.

Hydrant-monkey 9,888 23
01/18/2012 04:32 PM

In England, all the swans belong to the queen.

The Mailman 176,467 56
01/18/2012 04:32 PM

Cunnilingus: Great taste, less filling.

(*) citation needed

Fratberry 283,052 53
01/18/2012 04:33 PM

Beer was invented for the sole purpose of testing the invention of the stand-up urinal.

Hydrant-monkey 9,888 23
01/18/2012 04:38 PM

Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliaphobia is the fear of long words.

Chickens goes down with the ship 286,647 61
01/18/2012 04:39 PM

There never was a man from Nantucket. He was from Natchez.

Pram 80,728 42
01/18/2012 04:41 PM

Wikipedia still works. Go to Wikipedia.org and click on the Spanish version, then click Translate(This fact can not be refuted because the English version is down, haha!).

Straw frozen, but not in carbonite 98,023 37
01/18/2012 04:47 PM

If a woodchuck could chuck wood, a woodchuck would chuck about 5 trees worth.

Midgets 96,156 48
01/18/2012 04:54 PM

Giving oral sex makes your skinny jeans fit perfectly.

Midgets 96,156 48
01/18/2012 04:58 PM

Flatulence is caused by pixies playing saxophone in your small intestine.
The stain in your underwear is actually sax polish.

KChiki - Techno Geek Nerd Princess 128,451 98
01/18/2012 05:03 PM

Further, Olestra is composed primarily of sax polish.

Pram 80,728 42
01/18/2012 05:08 PM

Marp Nevam is a common misspelling of of one of the Shakespearetiest musicians on Earth.

Barney already in use 2,612 19
01/18/2012 05:12 PM

Giving oral sex makes your skinny jeans fit perfectly.



I highly recommend this product and/or service!

Fratberry 283,052 53
01/18/2012 05:14 PM

The regulation size of a bucket of steam is a ten gallon hat.

Fratberry 283,052 53
01/18/2012 05:16 PM

Muffin tops created by skinny jeans do not taste like actual muffins.

Hydrant-monkey 9,888 23
01/18/2012 06:31 PM

There are in fact, longer islands.

The High Priestess 58,986 29
01/18/2012 06:38 PM

African swallows do migrate.

The High Priestess 58,986 29
01/18/2012 06:38 PM

"We have nothing to fear, but fear itself. And Justin Beiber." - FDR

Thud 68,525 19
01/18/2012 06:42 PM

Martin Luther and Martin Luther King are related.

Abominable TWSS 27,416 24
01/18/2012 06:59 PM

In 2007, more people were killed by vending machines than marijuana usage.

Drewcifer 46,366 58
01/18/2012 07:00 PM

A fart is a wish your butt makes.

The Mailman 176,467 56
01/18/2012 07:04 PM

The "Caesar Salad" was invented by Cleopatra in reference to his ability to toss hers.

The High Priestess 58,986 29
01/18/2012 07:08 PM

Flan consists of Werther's Original's and horse placenta.

The High Priestess 58,986 29
01/18/2012 07:10 PM

Contrary to popular belief, Sir Mix-a-lot prefers small butts.

Thud 68,525 19
01/18/2012 07:17 PM

No matter what you have heard, Lady Gaga did not die during the shooting of her new porn feature "Gaga Gags".

The Mailman 176,467 56
01/18/2012 07:21 PM

MPAA stands for "Making Piracy Admirably Appealing."

Spicey McHaggis 117,791 37
01/18/2012 07:22 PM

The only reason why the USA are not using the metric system is because they enjoy pissing off the rest of the planet.

I think you're supposed to be making up stuff that isn't actually true.

The Mailman 176,467 56
01/18/2012 07:28 PM

ZUG.com is a comedy website that was founded in 1995; it became internationally famous in 2007 after its highly successful Superbowl Prank.

Better?

Drewcifer 46,366 58
01/18/2012 09:01 PM

Brad Poynter's wife on occasion makes him sleep out in the burnt up Pinto.

Fratberry 283,052 53
01/18/2012 09:52 PM

Contrary to popular belief, Atlanta's MARTA bus and train system does not stand for "Moving Africans Rapidly Through Atlanta". It is a total coincidence.

Fratberry 283,052 53
01/18/2012 09:55 PM

Old guys who wear bananas but don't ride motorcycles are still cool.

Fratberry 283,052 53
01/18/2012 09:56 PM

Oh son of a bitch.

The Mailman 176,467 56
01/18/2012 09:59 PM

Fashion refers to anything that is the current trend in look and dress up of a person. Fashion was invented for idiots, so they would notice how fast time flies.

Midgets 96,156 48
01/18/2012 10:00 PM

Obama was born in Hawaii.

However, since Hawaii wasn't admitted to the federation until 2045 he wasn't a legal president until six months after leaving office.

Thud 68,525 19
01/18/2012 10:17 PM

The equator is a solid line that appears all across the world just as shown on maps. People constantly trip on it.

Fratberry 283,052 53
01/18/2012 10:20 PM

Also, Obama was never born. He was hatched, and the Constitution says nothing about not being able to hold the office of President when you were hatched.

Hoppy Gnu Ear Jeeni 47,815 51
01/18/2012 10:22 PM

When you absolutely need sleep, MySQL is interchangeable with NyQuil.

Hoppy Gnu Ear Jeeni 47,815 51
01/18/2012 10:24 PM

Oh wait. That's completely true.

Drewcifer 46,366 58
01/18/2012 10:37 PM

Contrary to popular belief, Atlanta's MARTA bus and train system does not stand for "Moving Africans Rapidly Through Atlanta". It is a total coincidence.

Also in Atlanta, Ponce DeLeon Avenue is not pronounced the way an average person with an 8th grade education would pronounce it (Ponz DAY-lay-on); it is pronounced in Standard Ingnorese (Pons Duh-lee-un). You will be corrected.

Hoppy Gnu Ear Jeeni 47,815 51
01/18/2012 11:21 PM

Nikola Tesla & Martha Stewart met in prison July 7th, 1894 and got married shortly before her execution. Tesla, a worker contracted to repair a faulty electric chair was reported to have fallen in love instantly.

Martha quickly fashioned a length of green enameled wire into "his" and "hers" bands and they were promptly married within the first 5 minutes of a two hour and twenty minute airing.

Advertisements, execution teasers, multiple recaps and other non-sensical fillers were added to lengthen the production considerably.¹

With no time for a proper honeymoon except during the commercial breaks, the priest who married the couple gave final rights just before her execution, which was thirty seconds before the end of the show.²





1. Thirty seven advertisements were aired during the show at a premium not even topped by the Super Bowl. The number is so large, the following equation must be used to represent it: $6921⁷⁷³⁴

Notable advertisers/spots on this online broadcast: Microsoft (Twenty Seven repeats of a controversial animation: IE9 executes IE7, IE6 & IE5.) and Viagra (Six hundred and ninety six thousand 2 frame subliminal Viagra spots, which - when placed together show a man's progression of being prescribed and taking Viagra, then xrays of his experience. NSFW.)

2. This is all true, yo.

The Mailman 176,467 56
01/18/2012 11:42 PM

An equation is a mathematical statement that asserts the equality of two expressions. In modern notation, this is written by placing the expressions on either side of an equals sign.
Counterexample: $69217734 is not an equation.

Drewcifer 46,366 58
01/18/2012 11:54 PM

I'm really good at these.

PoloChukker 4,634 12
01/18/2012 11:59 PM

In Dallas, TX it is illegal to own a realistic looking dildo.

Also- no gorillas are allowed in the back seat of any car in MA.

Hoppy Gnu Ear Jeeni 47,815 51 realizes she's not on Mailman's ignore list and faints
01/19/2012 12:19 AM

Uhm, this is a thread about non-facts, right?

Dogs Akimbo 211,630 32
01/19/2012 12:59 AM

Wikipedia did not actually go black yesterday. It went gray and hid behind Mitt Romney.

Drewcifer 46,366 58
01/19/2012 01:10 AM

It is anatomically impossible for a dog to stand akimbo.

Dogs Akimbo 211,630 32
01/19/2012 01:15 AM

You're not the boss of me.

Drewcifer 46,366 58
01/19/2012 02:02 AM

I wouldn't be so sure. Somewhere on the internet, it says I am.

Abominable TWSS 27,416 24
01/19/2012 02:30 AM

The male hummingbird has the largest penis proportional to its size. The length of their beaks is an evolutionary development due to the copious amounts of fellatio performed during the female's "hummer week".

Fratberry 283,052 53
01/19/2012 08:15 AM

Strange. I had a dream about hummingbirds last night. We were throwing them as hard as we could, turning them temporarily into screamingbirds and then, more permanently into angry birds who then came back and attacked us.

We countered with tennis rackets.

Ebenezer Ravos 63,472 21
01/19/2012 08:22 AM

The hintonburg actually got it's nickname from the band of the same name, but with different spelling, "led zeppelin"

Ebenezer Ravos 63,472 21
01/19/2012 08:27 AM

"The Beatles" originally had 5 members, their frontman was none other than John Stamos. In the great uprising of 1963, they kicked him out of the band. Their reason was "While we were tripping balls on acid, his hair turned into snakes and tried to eat us. He was actually medusa."

Ebenezer Ravos 63,472 21
01/19/2012 10:22 AM

In every episode of LOST, Dave Coulier has an uncreditted cameo appearance at some point.

KatDawg 10,055 11
01/19/2012 12:16 PM

My friend's mother makes $88 an hour on her computer. Her last paycheck was $6467!!

Chickens goes down with the ship 286,647 61
01/19/2012 12:39 PM

It has become physically impossible to vote Republican since the late 80's without holding your nose.

Democrats do not have this problem due to their universal lack of smell.

Pubah... 56,851 18
01/19/2012 01:31 PM

Someone please fill me in. I lost my wiFi reception when the starbucks down the street from my cardboard condominium closed. What Happened to Wikipedia? Was it a Wikileaks revenge thing? Did Dick Cheney kick Al Gores' ass and shut down the internet? Did President Obama push the wrong red "EASY" button, destroying Wikipedia instead of North Korea? Wahhhoppened?

Hoppy Gnu Ear Jeeni 47,815 51
01/19/2012 04:27 PM

Due to underfunding and lack of use, on January 18, 2012, Wikipedia.org was unable to renew it's hosting contract. The insolvent company was seized by Bank of America and auctioned off to the highest bidder. In a quick coup, the government of North Korea out bid other nations for the domain. The site now features some of the highest profile Bollywood films as well as up and coming rock groups such as "Tangle Frost Knot" and "Satan's Delight". Rumors of Politi-Burlesque plays are also said to be coming to the site in late 2012.

Hoppy Gnu Ear Jeeni 47,815 51
01/19/2012 04:52 PM

Ok, I just did a Google search for "Tangle Frost Knot" and it is actually a thing. I blame ZUG for putting that in my subconscious.

Fratberry 283,052 53
01/20/2012 04:39 PM

A Google image search is even more weird. And not necessarily recommended.

Ebenezer Ravos 63,472 21
01/23/2012 08:46 AM

On Friday, October 26th 1927, the popular muscial "Lord of the Dance" had it's first show. There were no survivors. This day has since been referred to as both "Black Friday" and "The day the dance died"

Ebenezer Ravos 63,472 21
01/23/2012 09:10 AM

The event was also the inspiration for the film known as "Footloose"