UT Police Department Gets Bored
A comedy conversation
by Pudding Pops's Ghost  1,379  9
01/28/2012 01:02 PM 116 views
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As a symptom of my post-university depression, I tend to take a gander about the college website to learn about the recent goings-on.
That's when I stumbled upon the wonderful Police Department website, where they list every single problem the campus police have to deal with throughout the year. However, at some point, the writer got bored and decided to make fun of the idiots they come across on a day-to-day basis.
There now exists a page called "Best of Campus Watch 2011" on the university website that includes such gems as:
A UT Police Officer discovered a UT student sleeping in the tall grass located beside the building. The officer stopped upon seeing that the student was wearing a large brown furry bear costume. The officer detected a very strong odor of alcohol on the student's breath. The student's speech was more of a slurred incoherent growl. The student was not aware of where he was or how he got there. He did realize he was outside of Jelleystone Park. The student was taken into custody for Public Intoxication and transported, not to a local zoo, but to Central Booking. Occurred on: 10-01-11, at 3:25 AM.
And:
A non-UT subject notified the police department of a suspicious person after being informed by a nearby bird that the subject was carrying explosives (that is correct a bird). During the investigation, the officers located the suspicious person and learned the subject was carrying water bottles. The officers also located the reporting person next to an emergency callbox. The subject informed the officers that he fights terrorism for a living. The subject was issued a written Criminal Trespass Warning and the officers thanked him for patriotism. Occurred on: 10-01-11, at 5:13 PM.
Link: https://www.utexas.edu/police/campuswatch/bestof/
There's also one about a squirrel ripping apart a bike seat, but god dammit, the image is broken. I don't know how the Frost I'm supposed to sleep at night with a squirrel vandal possibly lurking around every corner.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Funny
6 votes
3.3
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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BC Bud 13,797  15
01/28/2012 01:13 PM
Welcome back Lisa..
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Funny
4 votes
3.0
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Midgets 96,156 48
01/28/2012 04:41 PM
Why is Bill making the sweet, sweet love to that bike seat?
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Pudding Pops's Ghost 1,379 9
01/29/2012 01:19 AM
Thanks, bud, my man
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Funny
6 votes
3.8
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Fratberry 283,059 53
01/29/2012 05:35 PM
And that's just the women!!
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