Abominable TWSS 27,416 24
01/30/2012 04:29 PM

This post brought to you by Taco Bell, the cheaper laxative.

Midgets 96,156 48
01/30/2012 04:31 PM

Most of my posts come from the crapper already.

I don't know how I ever Shakespeare in the days before smart phones, but I can't do it without one now.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
01/30/2012 05:22 PM

Between Angry Birds, Zug, Words with Friends, and masturbation, I am always multitasking when I poop.

The Mailman 176,467 56
01/30/2012 05:31 PM

I'm not on the crapper right now; I'm posting from work, but I have a Shakespearety job. Does that count?

Chickens goes down with the ship 286,651 61
01/30/2012 05:37 PM

Corn? When did I eat corn?

Fratberry 283,059 53
01/30/2012 05:45 PM

Get yourself a one of those wooden TV trays. It's like an office in my bathroom but the chair is WAY more convenient.

Declan's Garlic McManus Potatoes 131,891 36
01/30/2012 05:59 PM

Double Dexter is just as good reading in the living room.......

Suzy Creamcheese 3,009 9
01/30/2012 06:11 PM

Between Angry Birds, Zug, Words with Friends, and masturbation, I am always multitasking when I poop.

You masturbate while you poop?

Fratberry 283,059 53
01/30/2012 06:12 PM

Poopsturbating.

Suzy Creamcheese 3,009 9
01/30/2012 06:18 PM

Maybe that would get rid of your migraines, Frat.

Declan's Garlic McManus Potatoes 131,891 36
01/30/2012 06:47 PM

Poopsterbating is what happens when there's no blumpkin.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
01/30/2012 06:53 PM

You masturbate while you poop?

You don't?

Abominable TWSS 27,416 24
01/30/2012 06:56 PM

My boyfriend told me he was going to fart one of these days when I had his dick in my mouth, just to see what I would do.

Emerson.

Thud 68,525 19
01/30/2012 07:13 PM

If he does you should grit your teeth until the smell passes.

Barney already in use 2,612 19
01/30/2012 07:45 PM

Keep a candle by the bed and plug it.

Fratberry 283,059 53
01/30/2012 09:10 PM

I'm in the bathroom. And I just did. Wait, there's more!

Fratberry 283,059 53
01/30/2012 09:12 PM

Craptacular.

Big Irish Guy 203,956 21
01/30/2012 11:15 PM

TWSS, if he does that, just forget to tell him it's your period and have him go down on you.

Abominable TWSS 27,416 24
01/30/2012 11:38 PM

The problem with this thread is waiting until you have to pee before you can respond.

I don't think he'd actually do it, because I told him if he wanted to keep his twig and berries firmly attached, he'd better not. He's been pretty fond of them since his teens, so I doubt that thought will cross his mind again.

S'cuse me. Gotta wipe.

Pudding Pops's Ghost 1,379 9
01/31/2012 12:15 AM

Poopside Poetry by Pudding Pops:

Here I sit upon my throne,
Through mighty struggle, I emit a groan.
,"Who goes there!, shouts my nervous dog.

,"Oh, shut it,, I say ,"I,,,m busy, you hog!,

,"No, no,, says Dog, ,"You can,,,t trick me,”
You,,,re not my owner, you,,,re Puggy Magee,
That mutt down the street who,,,s out to kill me.
I know that groan, and I know it well,
It comes from the dog who rose from hell.,

,"Goddammit, Dog, I,,,m taking a Shakespeare,
There,,,s no need for such a fit.,

But before I knew it, before I had a chance
The door burst open, and I froze in a trance.
In comes Dog, crazy in his eye
Then, onto my lap does mad Dog fly,
And into the toilet bowl goes I.

,"Pardon,, he says, ,"It,,,s you after all.,
Then off he goes to play with his ball.

My ass remains suctioned into the seat,
Covered in feces and red as a beet.
I,,,ve nothing to do but to sit and cry,
And to write a poem to help time pass me by.

Pudding Pops's Ghost 1,379 9
01/31/2012 12:19 AM

*(*&^(#* formatting.


Poopside Poetry by Pudding Pops:

Here I sit upon my throne,
Through mighty struggle, I emit a groan.
"Who goes there!", shouts my nervous dog.

"Oh, shut it,", I say "I'm busy, you hog!",

"No, no,", says Dog, "You can't trick me"
You're not my owner, you're Puggy Magee,
That mutt down the street who's out to kill me.
I know that groan, and I know it well,
It comes from the dog who rose from hell."

"Goddammit, Dog, I'm taking a Shakespeare,
There's no need for such a fit."

But before I knew it, before I had a chance
The door burst open, and I froze in a trance.
In comes Dog, crazy in his eye
Then, onto my lap does mad Dog fly,
And into the toilet bowl goes I.

"Pardon,", he says, "It's you after all."
Then off he goes to play with his ball.

My ass remains suctioned into the seat,
Covered in feces and red as a beet.
I've nothing to do but to sit and cry,
And to write a poem to help time pass me by.

Fratberry 283,059 53
01/31/2012 08:19 AM

That was... Shakespearety.